Category: Love

What energy are you adding to the world?

Posted on by Debra Taitel
What energy are you adding to the world?

“A fight is going on inside me,” said an old man to his son. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you. The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, “Which wolf will win?” The old man replied simply, “The one you feed.”

Wendy Mass

With the Corona Virus lockdown, people have a lot of time on their hands and some are turning to social media–in a not so positive way. Lately, I’m reading a lot of “armchair quarterback” angry posts slamming and dividing how this or that is being handled and what should or shouldn’t be done.

Most of those posts are filled with anger, judgment, and competition that comes from fear and that fear is fueling the ego. What does ego have to do with it you may ask?

The ego is fighting to be right. Ego is the thing that says–I’m right. You’re wrong. The ego always needs a winner and a loser. It is the ego that knows better than everyone else what should or shouldn’t be done.

I know those who are writing most of these types of posts will argue they aren’t afraid. They will also argue they aren’t coming from a place of ego but I welcome those folks to take a good look at themselves.

Are you getting the results you seek?

I respect your right to post and speak your mind BUT If you don’t like what’s going on, ask yourself what energy you’re adding to it. Ask yourself if anger and righteous indignation will get you the result you are looking for.

I guarantee that complaining, name-calling, and dividing will attract many who will agree and validate what you’re saying. But, will the validation get you the end-result you’re wanting or are you simply wanting or needing to be right?

If you don’t like what’s going on, how about offering a different perspective and maybe even a solution for the greater good of all? It’s a scary time but we’ll get through this thing together. Put down your verbal weapons and need to be right. Offer a moment of peace into the world.

Creative solution–Add love.

I invite everyone to give yourself a moment to move beyond the rampant fear and look inside your heart. We may not be able to physically extend a hand for a short time BUT we can certainly extend the energy of love.

Imagine bridges of love that extend and connect every divide. Try adding a little of that to the world. Much love to all~Shine Your Light Debbie

Relationships

Why All Relationships Mirror The Relationship You Have With Yourself

Posted on by Debra Taitel

RelationshipsHave you met people with plenty of friends with the best relationships?

The person who smiles all the time and offers unconditional love to those dear to them?

Relationship experts will tell you the reason their relationships thrive is because of the relationship they have with themselves. They have learned to love their innermost being and found their true identity.

On the opposite spectrum, do you know those with little friends that go from one relationship to the other without making make it last?

They argue, fight — are jealous, and proclaim they love for each other, but do not show it.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

“The people we are in relationships with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs.” — Shakti Gawain

Those with poor relationships have an unhealthy relationship with themselves. They have not found their true identity within themselves, but look towards others to define them.

They are looking for love in all the wrong places.

Relationships perplex even the best experts. They start out wonderful and both partners are floating on a cloud of love for months.

No one notices annoying traits or character defects, or if they do, they minimise it because they are in love.

As time goes by, things begin to change. The love hormones wane, character defects become clear, and arguing occurs more often.

Before you know it, the two are carrying resentments, yell at each other and contemplate the possibility of the relationship being over.

There are many factors that come into play in a relationship. The dynamics are different for every person, so it is difficult to say the reason for breakups is clear. It is a combination of factors.

One thing experts will tell you is, a person’s relationship with others, and especially a partner, mirrors their relationship with self.

If a person’s relationship with self is unhealthy, it is likely their relationship with others will be unhealthy.

Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you stay single.

You find out quickly if you are a selfish person once you are in a relationship, because when there is someone to “share” with, you face a decision to “share” or not.

Communication, compromise, and conflict resolution come up, and you face having to lay your pride down and work together on issues.

Don’t Focus On The Externals

“Relationship is a mirror. Every moment the other reveals you, exposes you. The closer the relationship, the clearer is the mirror.” — Rajneesh

A contributing factor whether a relationship will be healthy or unhealthy depends on where each partner finds happiness and fulfillment.

Many people seek this in external objects or people. I’m sure you’ve heard people proclaim: “I’ll be happy if he did this or she said that” or “If I only got that job, new house, baby.”

If a person seeks a partner to complete them, conflicts arise.

It is not your partner’s job to make you happy. It is your job to make you happy. It is your partner’s job to make themselves happy.

When you seek happiness externally, as in a person, you will expect things, and resentments arise. Resentments bring anger and anger brings arguments.

This is one reason people go from one relationship to another.

They think a person will “complete” them, but once the honeymoon phase is over, the needy partner sucks energy from the other trying to find fulfillment.

They may be: needy, jealous, controlling, and manipulative because they seek happiness through their partner. It does not work.

In order for a relationship to be healthy, each person should be at a place where they have dealt with issues such as: low self-esteem, jealousy, resentments, and inner pain.

Each partner must know self-love that radiates outward and add value to a relationship instead of seeking love and affirmation from a partner.

Many people gravitate toward partners who are opposites, which leads to conflict.

Conflict can help each partner to begin a journey within themselves to find unconditional love and wholeness. From there, unconditional love is given to the partner.

If you are in a relationship that is troubling you, stop pointing fingers and get quiet with yourself. Take time to contemplate, meditate, and take a season in which you find out who you are.

Deal with your issues related to: low self-worth, anger, bitterness, laziness, fear, etc.

Own up to your “junk” in the relationship and commit to looking inward to find your identity, unconditional love, and wholeness.

From there, you will maintain healthy relationships and add value to those around you.

If you cannot do this alone, consider seeing a relationship counsellor.

Counsellors are trained to help people move past their issues and offer insights on changing attitudes and behaviour.

Many people use this time and go on to develop healthy relationships.

You can too.

This post was written by Tony Fahkry, Self-empowerment Author and Expert Speaker. www.tonyfahkry.com and was originally published on May 17, 2018 on The Mission (at Medium.com)