Best Friends Forever!

Best friends are wonderful to have in your life. They are people with whom you confide your deepest darkest secrets, your fears or joys and those you share your experiences with. They are the ones with whom you can go on a rant then forgive, those you laugh or cry with and it’s always fun to go on a new adventure with your BFF.

No matter what it is, you always feel safe telling your best friend something. A true best friend doesn’t judge, criticize and will often tell it like it is whether you like it or not. They love you for who you are and visa versa. There is give and take, you listen to their advice….ok you don’t necessarily take it but you’ll listen to it, and you value their friendship.

What do you look for in a best friend?

Would you choose a best friend that you didn’t trust or feel safe with? Would you choose a best friend who lies to you or beats you up? How about a best friend who is negative and criticizes you for everything? Of course you wouldn’t choose a best friend who is like that! You want a best friend who lifts your spirits, dries your tears and is there for you through thick and thin. Now begs the question…

Are you your own best friend?

Being your own best friend is having a forever friend! It means getting honest with and caring for yourself. It is about trusting yourself and owning the choices you make. It is knowing that you have the ability to heal yourself, lift your spirits, go on new adventures and treat yourself kindly. When you are your own best friend you listen to your intuition, follow your heart AND your own council. You forgive your mistakes, and you feel safe & comfortable in your own company and in your own skin!

Believe it or not your best friend in the world, the one who is with you for a lifetime is YOU! Think of how many ‘best friends’ have come and gone out of your life. To be sure there are some that are with you for a lifetime and this is great but some of your best friends are there for a time and then you both move on. It might be that one of you gets married, divorced, one of you moves or you just grow in different directions.

If you are not already your own best friend, it’s never to late to start the process. It all begins with getting to know yourself from the inside out; Who you are now, where you’ve come from and honoring what you’ve been through in life. It means ending the cycle of punishing yourself because you are not perfect; You’ve probably been trying to live up to a picture that someone else handed you at some point in your life.

Becoming your own best friend is a journey of loving yourself and letting go of trying to be someone you are not and never will be. Say hello to being your own best friend. It is a friendship that will truly last a lifetime!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

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Caring for Your Most Intimate Relationship (dailymuse.spiritlightinsight.com)
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Jul 24 2011

Caring for your most intimate relationship….

I’m sure you will agree that it’s important to care for and honor your closest relationships. Whether it is with a friend, a lover, a spouse, or significant other, take time to acknowledge and let those people know how much you value and appreciate having them in your life.

While telling them in words how important they are to you, it is your actions and what you do that are more telling. A kind word, tender touch, a sweet little text or email, an unexpected gift or just listening and not trying to ‘fix’ everything. Perhaps they don’t need fixing as much as they need listening.

It’s clearly important to care for and nurture every relationship and not take it for granted or that relationship will soon deteriorate and wither away because there’s no energy in caring for it. If not cared for it could become buried under a sea of outer circumstances which takes away from the relationship and shifts your attention on things outside of the relationship itself.

Do you care for and honor your most intimate relationship…the one you have with YOU?

Just as important as your relationships with others is the one you have with yourself! In fact it is THE MOST IMPORTANT relationship in your life. Your mental, physical and spiritual space ARE relationships and need just as much care as your relationships with others. If you are living with someone or in a relationship, you spend time apart but you are with YOU 24/7!

What have you done for YOURSELF lately?

Do you speak kind words to yourself or do you beat yourself up? Do you forgive yourself for your indiscretions and seek to learn from your mistakes? Do you nurture and honor who you are? Do you pamper and give to yourself? Some of the most loving & giving people I know spend so much time giving, healing and sharing their energy with others they feel depleted. In the privacy of their home they wonder why their relationships don’t work or they are not in good health or they always seem to feel stressed out.

Replenish and give to yourself!

Loving and giving to others is wonderful but if you don’t love and give to yourself you won’t have a lot of energy to give! It’s also important to remind yourself that you can give without giving it away. There IS a difference. Replenishing energetically means filling up with your energy! It means calling back all you’ve given away and being in your flow. It means reconnecting with the earth & the God of your heart. It means letting the sunshine in, filling up with joy, happiness and the energy you were born with.

The best way I know how to do this energetically is through meditation. A grounded, in the body, balanced meditation. One that makes you feel present and connected with your body. Next treat your body with kindness! Notice how you talk to and feel about yourself. Do you speak kind encouraging words to yourself? Notice the foods you eat. Are those foods healthy for your body? When was the last time you had a massage and really pampered yourself?

Caring for others is important but so is caring for yourself. Take time each day to give to yourself and care for the person you are inside. Honor all that you know, feel, & do. Honor and love yourself. Nurture your mind, body, spirit and soul.~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

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Jul 19 2011

Growth & Expansion: Is it a NEW you or more YOU?

In a conversation with a very wise friend I mentioned that I’m a completely different person today than I was, say, 10 years ago. I see and experience the world differently, spend time daily in meditation, write this blog and do a myriad of other things which frankly I never in a million years thought I’d be doing.

Yes, I was truly confident that I’ve completely changed and in many ways that is really true. How interesting that his response to my statement was ‘no, you haven’t changed. you’ve grown and expanded’. The comment sent me into a bit of a tailspin. He was absolutely right! With all the changes I’ve made, as well as the inner work of self-healing, the core of who I am hasn’t changed! In fact, I’m more ME then ever before!

Yes, there have been monumental changes in my life. My perspective has shifted, I have cleared out toxic relationships, lost weight and stopped living from other people’s picture of who they think I am. So I (with a capital I) haven’t changed. My life has changed because I’ve created change through healing, growth and expansion as spirit! Like peeling back the layers of an onion, layer by layer I uncovered ME.

Living up to someone else’s expectations doesn’t work. If it doesn’t come from your heart it comes across as inauthentic. Living to validate and heal others so they validate you doesn’t work. Those people will merely ‘take’ all you have to give and then eclipse out of your life! Living your life constantly trying to be the person you think someone else wants you to be doesn’t work. Who you think they want you to be is more than likely a picture steeped in invalidation that says who YOU are and what you bring to the table isn’t good enough.

If you’ve ever asked why someone can’t see you for who you really are then it’s time to peel back some layers. They certainly can’t see you for who you are if the YOU, you’d like them to see is buried under layers of other stuff. There can only be one YOU and ultimately you can’t keep up trying to be someone you are not. It is exhausting, frustrating and it will never get you where you want to go.

In essence, you can change your thoughts and actions. You can alter your life’s path. You can learn to love yourself. You can heal your spirit, uncovering the true you. You can grow and expand your confidence and have the courage to show yourself to the world. The cathartic events that ‘forever’ change you are learning experiences which allow for growth and expansion. You can create and BE the change you wish to see but that comes from strength within. The strength that is already there!

Take a journey within and look at yourself! Find the pearl that was created from those challenging experiences! Get in alignment with your passion and what you’d like to create. Bring more of YOU in and allow everything else to fall away. Find your ‘happy place’ inside and allow it to grow and expand! When you do this your life will truly be changed forever because your true spiritual essence shines through!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

It Takes Courage to Heal… (dailymuse.spiritlightinsight.com)
~Peeling Away The Layers (spiritusilentium.wordpress.com)
Rejuvenate the Mind, Body, and Spirit with Energy Healing (blogcritics.org)

Jul 10 2011

What’s Taking Up Space?

: Image by Paradasos via Flickr

Having ones space is a recurring theme I write about. We lose and get back our space both energetically and physically every day. When you become aware you have lost your space by either giving it up or it was invaded, you are receiving an important message.

The message is about where you are working, what picture still needs to be cleared or resistance that you are harboring. If you aren’t paying attention to having lost your space, I guarantee that at some point it will become SO clear that you’ll begin paying attention. The good news is that if you lose your space you CAN get it back!

Your space and energy are valuable…

Having your space on an energetic and physical level means you’ll have more energy to create with and more space to have your creations manifest and become real. Losing your space is a blessing in disguise. The blessing is that when you’ve lost your space it points you in the direction of what you need to work on for growth & expansion despite how it feels at the time.

When your physical space needs remodeling, while going through it there is chaos and you can only imagine what it will be when finished. Everything is out-of-place and yet you wouldn’t dream of discontinuing the project in mid-stream to live in the chaos. You do what needs to be done to finish so you can move back in to a sparkly new space that feels really good!

Do you reclaim your energetic space in the same way?

On an energetic level if you lose your space there’s no better way to get it back than meditation. Call it inner reflection or introspection if you like. You wouldn’t dream of living in the middle of a construction project until it is finished. There’s no space. It’s not safe. You’re pretty smart as spirit so if you’ve lost your space why would you want to be in your body if it’s not safe with all that stuff that isn’t YOU?

Once you have noticed that you’ve lost your space acknowledge it then uncover the reason you lost it in the first place. If your focus remains on all the places you don’t have space it will be difficult to re-own because you are then giving up space to the picture of not having your space! This is called being STUCK.

Start asking questions to find your answers. Are someone else’s belongings still in your home? Are you holding ‘space’ for someone else? Is there a painful memory (picture) from your childhood you are still feeding energy into which takes up the space that joy and happiness could be in? If you are using LOA is there a space to manifest your creations? If not, what can you let go of or clean out to make that space?

Everything on this earth needs space and room to grow!

The more of your space you own and occupy, the more you can grow and expand it! Think of it this way. Say you’ve planted a garden and it becomes covered up with weeds and debris. It gets no oxygen or sunlight and very little water. It has no space to grow. It is literally being choked and trampled by everything covering it. When you clear out the weeds and debris it gets what it needs to grow and bear fruit!

If you’ve lost your space, take it back and own it! Consider the invasion a blessing to point you in the right direction. Create the space for more abundance, joy, love and happiness to fill your world! ~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

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Jul 6 2011

Please EXcuse the exCuse’!

How many times in your life have you asked someone to excuse you? Asking to be excused is a form of politeness and in some cases, like when you were in school and needed to be excused from class, you brought a note from your parents.

The english language is tricky if it is not your mother tongue but it is interesting that the same word is used to pardon or release someone AND to offer a reason for something you cannot or won’t do. Have you ever taken note of how many times you say “excuse me” or how many “excuses” you make each day?

Who or what are you exactly excusing and to whom? Are you somehow justifying or rationalizing something to yourself in the process? Do you find yourself making excuses for someone else? More importantly are you being truthful when you are asking to be excused or making the excuse? If you take ownership of the things you do or say there is no need for an excuse! Ownership means taking responsibility for your actions, words, and choices and how they may have affected someone else…or possibly even how the excuses you make affect your own life.

Being polite is wonderful and I’m sure you’ll agree that we try to be polite to each other but when you excuse and make excuses to yourself you are not taking ownership of a decision that consciously or unconsciously you have made. Exploring WHY you chose a particular word, action (or inaction), or why you made a certain choice leads you to learning more about yourself. Taking an inner journey and becoming aware of the “why” opens the door to change those things you wish to change. Why did you say or not say this or that? Why did you choose that action or inaction? Why did you make that particular choice at all?

Every thought, deed or action has a learning experience tied to it. Your awareness and ownership of the choices you make can lead you on a very interesting journey of the soul. You don’t have to change for others and in fact it’s not a good plan to try to fit in with the status quo because it doesn’t come from your heart; If however there are things you’d like to change about yourself, look within to see the foundation that you built those choices upon.

Did YOU build that foundation? Is it built on your truth? Who was the contractor who helped you build it or have you built that foundation on outdated habits and/or ego? It may be that the foundation of the choices you make excuses for today was laid or programmed by someone else yet you’ve built upon that foundation for so long, it has become a part of your reality!

This is not about being right or wrong in a situation. It’s about owning your choices and taking responsibility for them. If you make a mistake own it and learn from it. Clear the energy, the guilt and forgive yourself. Once the light of awareness illuminates an excuse consider it an opportunity to learn and heal.

So please excuse the excuse! Take ownership of your life and stop making excuses! If you find yourself making excuses for (to) yourself or someone else in your life own them, forgive yourself and meditate on why. YOU have the power to change, heal and create a better YOU when and if you choose to take responsibility! ~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

Excuses, excuses (love-simple.com)
The Benefits of ‘Home’ Ownership (dailymuse.spiritlightinsight.com)
Resolve to Evolve (dailymuse.spiritlightinsight.com)
Be Gentle with Yourself (dailymuse.spiritlightinsight.com)

Jun 25 2011

Step Out of the Drama Drama Drama!

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely
players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”~William Shakespeare As You Like It

Let’s face it, life can be full of DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. Personal drama, someone else’s drama and the drama that takes on a life of its own when you inadvertently get in the middle of someone else’s. The Shakespeare quote is a great way to describe the leading role you play in your life in all its different stages. Now the question becomes is there drama in your life? Do you enjoy it? Is it a comedy or tragedy? If your life is full of drama and you’re not enjoying it maybe it’s time to exit stage left and then Enter Laughing!

There are people whose lives are full of chaos and drama. You may know some of these people or notice it in your own life. At times you may find yourself drawn into a drama wondering how you got there in the first place. Perhaps you wanted to help a friend or found yourself vulnerable because you are a giver and healer. It may even be that you have a flair for the dramatic and it adds a bit of excitement to your life.

Drama is different from life challenges. Everyone has challenges. They are a part of life. Drama occurs depending on HOW you react, what you do and how you handle those challenges. On a daily basis you can simply turn on the news to see the diverse reactions to catastrophic events. You see interviews where some go into drama, others do not. Drama is full of, well….the DRAMATIC. It tends to feel like you are in the middle of a soap opera that will continue on forever.

Every scene in your life is an experience and will play itself out whether you take charge with awareness or not. You have the ability to enter the scene consciously, owning your part, adding and enriching the experience or you can allow yourself to get sucked into a vortex of drama, gossip, lies and competition swirling around you.

You also have the ability to exit the scene gracefully, with honor, forgiveness and your head held high. You can do this at any time during the scene by deciding that your role in the scene (or the play) is complete. If you’ve played the same part over & over again and the ending is always the same, it might be time to re-evaluate the role you have taken on and agreed to. It’s never too late to change the scenery, the script and your agreements to create a brand new ending.

You will have many scenes and play a lot of roles in your lifetime. At some level you agreed to each one of them. If you enjoy the drama, chaos and the same ending, by all means continue. If you’d like to change the part you play step out of the drama! Step out to center stage and take command with awareness! Life is what you make it so live it AS YOU LIKE IT! ~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

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Jun 16 2011

You can’t do it for someone else…..

All healing is self-healing and no matter how hard you try there are just some journeys that you are not meant to walk with someone else. You can understand, empathize, listen and be a good friend but you can’t heal everyone nor can you do it for them.

Taking on someone else’s pain and getting angry because they can’t or don’t want to heal in the same way as you will only make you frustrated not to mention, your attention and energy will be in their space. It will not only make them uncomfortable but they will resist even the best of intentions.

In this situation, it is best to find your neutrality and heal yourself first by seeking to understand what it is within YOU that wants to control someone else’s healing process. The difficulties and challenges that one person faces are very different from those of another and who is to say what internal process another person is going through.

Everyone heals in their own time…

To you it may not look like someone is healing if they are taking longer to do it than you would. Each of us makes our way as it is meant to be and the process takes as long as it takes. There is no time frame. It may take a day for one person, a week for another or a lifetime for someone else. Taking a step back to honor and respect the healing journey of another is the most loving thing you can do.

It’s easy to see the answer for someone else if you have not walked in their shoes. There may be a very good reason they are taking their time. Furthermore if you had a similar experience the answer YOU found to heal is not necessarily THEIR answer. If you have judgement about how to do it or how long it should take, it invalidates the person AND the healing that is already in process! Always take time to really see how much progress has been made.

Each of us must take responsibility for our own energy and healing process. Each of us has the ability to find our own answers. Heal yourself and honor the journey of others. Support and love those who are healing without judgement. Be there to offer a kind word, a warm hug, an ear to listen. Heal yourself to show someone else it is possible to heal. That my friends is how you CAN do it for someone else!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

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Apr 27 2011

Hurry Up and Wait!

Photo by Claire

“Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.” ~Dr. Seuss

We wait ‘for our ship to come in’, to meet our soul mate, for things to calm down, for our children to grow up, for our yearly bonus, for the returned phone call or email, for the bus, or for someone else to make a decision so we can make ours. We wait for the economy to get better, or to find the better job or for our vacation days. Funny thing about all this waiting is that we’re all in a hurry yet find ourselves waiting!

Waiting is an interesting concept to explore. In terms of your energy, it implies your energy is in the future or dependant on something (or someone) that’s outside of you before you can move forward. While you are waiting, for whatever reason, your energy, creativity and that part of your awareness is not available to you in the present. In fact, while you are waiting it is possible that your creativity stops altogether!

Take a moment to consider how much of your energy and creativity is caught up in waiting for something else to happen. It may only be in one area of your life you are waiting but it still takes away from how much energy you have to create in other areas as well. Becoming conscious of how much of your energy is not here and now in the present is great information because then you can call it back thus having MORE energy to create with!

There is great value to having your energy and ability to create. Think of it in terms of having monetary value. How much of your money is out there that you don’t have access to in the present? Wouldn’t you like to use it now for something? Your energy and creativity are so valuable that there is no monetary comparison. YOU are PRICELESS! There is no need to spend your time, attention and energy waiting when all creating happens in the present.

Having conscious awareness of those areas in your life where your energy is tied up and waiting allows you to shift where it is and bring it back to you. So… What are you waiting for? Call back your energy! No time like the present to get that juicy creativity flowing again!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

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Debra is a gifted clairvoyant reader, spiritual healer and intuitive coach providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. Based in Chicago, Debra also leads meditation workshops that help people awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts. To schedule a session or for more information on readings and workshops please visit her website or send an email request to Debra@SpiritLightInsight.com .

Apr 23 2011

There’s a Prize Inside!

“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.”~Joseph Campbell

Remember a long time ago when you were promised a prize inside of a box of cereal, cracker jack or your ‘happy meal’? You searched through the box wanting little to do with the food until you found that coveted prize! Although the prizes were little more than cheap pieces of plastic or paper, you not only valued finding them but they had value to you.

As one grows older what you value changes. The ’prize’ is very different. It could be something like being asked to the prom, spending time with family & friends, owning a home or car, and in this work-a-day world a vacation or adventure. No longer is there excitement about dumping out the box, moving everything else aside to find the cheap, valueless prize inside the box. When you’re 5 there’s a great deal of value in that prize but by the time you’re 35…. not so much!

What prizes do you seek that hold value for you today?

Is it money? Time? Space? A relationship? Fame? Happiness? How do you go about emptying the box of all the ‘stuff’ that surrounds and covers up all that you seek? What is the value and meaning when you ‘find the prize’? More importantly when you get to the prize does it still hold the same value and meaning you thought it would?

Have you ever noticed how sometimes the prize isn’t as great as you imagined it? It might feel like something is missing or it didn’t bring about the ecstatic joy you thought it would. The reason for this happening is that if you are seeking a prize from an external source, it will never have true, infinite value and meaning until you find the real prize.

The REAL and most valuable prize you can find is within you!

You ARE the prize! You have value that goes beyond that which words can describe and until you value yourself and what’s already inside, nothing outside of you will confirm how valuable you really are. Money is nice but it’s not going to bring you value. Fame is great but it will never validate who you are until you do! It’s difficult under the best circumstances to find or even recognize true happiness until you find it within!

Every breath you take has value and meaning in this world!

Everything is energy vibrating at a different speed therefore everything you do, every breath you take, every choice you make has an effect on your inner world AND the one you live in! Your value is not measured by your wealth, how much you have, your status or fame. You value and self-worth is determined by how you see and what you feel and think about yourself!

Empty out the box called your life and find your inner value not based on those things outside of you or what you do but based on the very thing that gives you life…the prize inside…YOU! Appreciate and think of yourself as the prize and watch as things change! Cha Ching! ~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

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Apr 17 2011

Are You an Energetic Punching Bag?

Have you ever felt like a punching bag or magnet for punishing energy? You know what I’m asking here! It’s those times when you were feeling pretty good, went into a meeting or family gathering and walked out like Muhammed Ali just delivered a knock-out punch and laid you out in the boxing ring.

Your head is ringing, eyes are blurry, everything seems to overwhelm you and all you want to do is curl up in a corner and take a nap even though nobody actually touched your physical body. I’m pretty clear that at one time or another each of us has experienced this or something like it! When you finally get back into your own space, you are left wondering what happened, if it was you that caused it or you get angry and blame the person (or group) who ‘did it to you’. Often it causes you to feel like a powerless victim.

If you have ever asked why you feel punished like this, you might want to take a look at what it is that you are resisting! Resistance is an interesting energy to explore. Energy gets thrown around all the time and you can’t control what others do whether it be in the body or energetically. The reason energy ’sticks’ or feels like a knock-out punch (whack) has everything to do with how much you are resisting!

In fact, resistance acts as a magnet for punishment and what you resist, persists! The same goes for if someone ‘pushes your buttons’ (this is a figure of speech). When a sensitive spot is hit, if you resist it’s going to feel like someone just stuck a knife in you. The good news is when you clear the energy of resistance the punishment begins to clear as well.

You are not powerless nor do you have to fight or try to control the energy of others. Your power lies in the ability to neutralize resistance to the energies or pictures that YOU are working on in your own life. The first thing to do when you experience a knock-out punch is to take time in meditation to find those places you resist. Be extra gentle with yourself and bring in lots of forgiveness.

A windmill does not resist the wind! It allows the wind to spin its sails and converts it to energy that is generated. You too can stand tall like a windmill allowing the winds to blow and not resisting. You can use the winds as a learning experience and renewable resource to transform yourself!

You too like the windmill can use what you learned to further you on your life’s path so you are generating energy instead of being the effect of it! You can also resist and fight the winds…it’s YOUR choice~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com