A Clairvoyant (Psychic) is NOT OMNISCIENT! What does a clairvoyant do?

What is a clairvoyant and what do you do? How is it different from a psychic? I can’t tell you how often I get asked those questions so I thought I’d take the opportunity to explain. There are many gifted psychics out there who offer a variety of reading sessions using their specific abilities and areas of expertise. My goal here is to clear up some common misconceptions. Mystics and healers are not new to this New Age we have entered into. As people awaken to a greater purpose they are looking more and more to the spiritual and light worker community for help as we all take a step up in our evolutionary transition. It’s time to demystify the mystics!

You had me at HELLO!

I get an interesting mix of reactions when I tell people what I do. Of course there are some that get very excited and want a reading on the spot which is not always convenient but sometimes fun at parties. Others go into complete fear and in a sense run for the hills. When that happens I’m always amused because clearly at some level they think I’m a clair-voyeur and read them without permission. Let me assure you that I have no interest in reading every one of your countless pictures and shouting it from the rooftops when we meet. The word clairvoyance means “clear vision” and a clairvoyant is “one who sees clearly”. You are much more than your physical body and what you do for a living. I look at your spirit self and acknowledge it with a spirit to spirit HELLO.

“Oh, your psychic. What am I thinking?”

Many of my professional psychic friends, myself included, are posed this question when we tell people what we do. I can’t speak for all of my friends but I think I can confidently assure you we don’t know what you’re thinking. We don’t know what anyone in your life is thinking. We are not omniscient. We do not know everything about every single other psychic, healing modality and/or metaphysical subject there is to know. Again not speaking for other psychics about what they to but what I do in a clairvoyant session is look at the energies and pictures you’re carrying around that are not yours. It is validating and healing to get a hello on who you are not so you can clear what you’ve probably suspected a good deal of your life wasn’t quite you. The healing in a reading goes one step farther when you get a hello on where you are working, what you are healing and what you are creating as spirit in a body.

Are you ON all the time?

Imagine yourself in the middle of a very loud and bright sound and light show where you could not only see but feel and hear every vibration going on around you all the time. It would be overwhelming! It took me years to figure out that what I was experiencing was because I was ON and didn’t know how to own my space. I have not only learned to turn it down but to be in my space so I can go out and experience life without having to isolate on a mountain somewhere. I have also learned (and I teach this as well) how to protect my space from foreign energies and how to clear out anything I may have picked up during my day. As a natural gift and ability I’m always ON but by being in my own space, in neutral and toned down I don’t become overwhelmed.

Psychics are human!

We have our own growth periods, make mistakes, have good days and bad days. Our relationships are not always perfect, we get angry, have desires, experience hardship and have bodily functions like everyone else. We work on our gifts, heal ourselves and seek to understand. Life is not easy as a psychic because of the judgements placed upon what we do but for me I do what I do to help and comfort people. Yes I know there are psychics who are interested in perfect predictions or are about ego and money but for me I do what I do to offer neutral insight to help you heal and understand yourself better. I do what I do because I see your aura get brighter and I know your life will change. My goal is to guide you back to YOU. When you are living from your own truth sans programming or other influencing energies you have the freewill to create the life of your choosing.~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

Feb 19 2012

Who Am I? Your Spiritual Identity

WHO AM I?

Each one of us at one time or another has asked this question and then experienced a spiritual identity crisis. A spiritual identity crisis is when you take on an identity which is not your own and when you ask ”Who Am I” you discover that how you’ve lived and/or the path you’ve been on is not really your own. You created a persona and lived an inauthentic life based on what you needed (or thought you needed) at the time. This is not wrong or bad it is what you needed at the time. It may take time not only for you to discover what has happened but to recognize and accept that the person you thought you were is not really you. Let me add here that when you receive that epiphany it’s not always easy to accept!

As human beings we identify with and play many roles in our lives. Like an actor we ‘become’ what/who we think we are supposed to be at any given time or in particular situations. We are employees or employers, brothers or sisters, daughters or sons, parents or children, husbands or wives, lovers or friends. I could go on listing the various roles that others see us as but I think you get the idea. If there was any invalidation thrown at you in the form of ‘not doing it right’ or ‘you’re wrong’ or ‘not good enough’ it makes sense you would try out something else. When you identify with invalidation (any type) and accept it as truth you may spend a good deal of time in effort trying to fix it by being someone you are not and never were.

Others see you and you even may see yourself in the roles you play but they are only seeing one very small part of you and what you DO is not who you are! There are even roles one takes on based on what we THINK they should be, how we should act (ect.) or we become the person we think someone else wants us to be. We create a picture in our minds then emulate and bring that picture to life. Having an identity crisis is when you falsely identify yourself with a particular role or are living by someone else’s tenets of who you should be and you have mistaken them for your true self.

Growing up I identified myself as the fat girl, the outcast and the rebel undeserving of love. As I immersed myself in energy work and healing I began to see myself as much more. I am more than just my body and circumstances. YOU are much more than your body or circumstances! You are a spiritual being with abilities which go far beyond this current lifetime. You have many lifetimes full of knowledge and experience and if you choose, you can tap into all that you are to create infinite possibilities. Asking yourself ‘who am I?’ starts the process of peeling back layers of who you are not.

I’ve been very amused at the new internet sensation spreading like wildfire: What People Think I do. (meme) There is a lot of truth to those posts. Each of us is perceived as doing or being a certain way yet how others perceive us and possibly how we see ourselves is not who we are. You are not what you DO! You are not your growth period or circumstances! Who you are is so much more. You are an infinite being of light who has taken a body to have a human experience. If you identify solely with one particular role or only as a body or as your growth period you are limiting yourself!

A spiritual identity crisis is not really a crisis. It is the conscious self coming to terms with the spiritual self being in a material world, encountering external forces, pressures and influences. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and it is possible to change the experience by recognizing how much more there is to you than meets the eye! WHO ARE YOU?~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

Jan 25 2012

Twinkle, twinkle little star, you light the darkness from afar…

In this vast universe of many galaxies, we are but a small blip on the radar. We are merely a pinpoint of light in our own galaxy yet there are times when our personal world feels larger than life, unmanageable and out of control. It is those dark, out of control times when it’s time to our realign yourself and find a star to light your way.

Everything that happens in life happens for a reason even if you don’t see what it is at first. It might take years before you put together the pieces of the puzzle but when you are finally able to fit those pieces together you find clarity and understanding. Clarity and understanding is only the beginning. Just like everything else understanding why is a process of clearing which leads to self forgiveness and healing.

When you are ready to heal you see a twinkling star in the darkness and experience the world as a bright magical place. When you are ready to heal you forgive yourself and call back your energy and power. When you are ready to heal you allow inspiration to guide you and end identifying with yourself as a victim. When you are ready to heal you free yourself from the past and take a stand in the present. When you are ready to heal you reconnect with your childlike spirit who at one time, looked up and wondered what the beautiful twinkling light is in the sky….Inside of you is that innocent child who sees the world with wonder and finds magic in a simple flower along the path. Is it time to heal your inner child and have a play date or two? Is it time to let go of a past full of memories that no longer serve your highest good? Only you can answer the question; Are you ready to heal?

The twinkling star in the sky lights your way and is there to remind you that you are not alone in the world. A twinkling star reminds you that there is a beautiful spark of light inside you. There is inspiration and light all around you when you are ready to see it. While it is true all your answers lie within, every now and again we need to look up, give our inner child a hug and point out the twinkling lights.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light, Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.

In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye, Till the sun is in the sky.

As your bright and tiny spark,
Lights the traveller in the dark.
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How I wonder what you are. How I wonder what you are.”
~Jane Taylor 1806 (English Poet)

Did you know there are 7 verses to that song? Full of wonder, full of light, full of passion in full sight. You once saw the world through innocent eyes full of hope. You can have that back when you are ready to heal. Connect with your inner child. See how they are doing and give them a hug. Find the star that lights your way and….~Shine Your Light~Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

Jan 17 2012

On the road to success do you get in your own way? (Part 2)

This is Part 2 of “On the road to success do you get in your own way.” CLICK HERE for Part 1.

No matter where you are on your road to success there will always be something that comes up. This is what growth and expansion is all about. You do not need to allow the energies or pictures which inevitably surface to stop you. It is the steps you take when these energies get stimulated that makes the difference between staying stuck and moving forward again. Getting out of your own way is about taking back your power and creativity from those places you’ve given up space to in the past.

Raise your havingness!

Havingness is about how much can you have. It may be that although you dream it and wish it your ‘havingness quotient’ doesn’t allow you to have your success. One can see what I’m talking about clearly if you take a look at how many lottery winners end up broke after a few years. While one could argue that they made poor decisions it is more about how much they could have and felt they deserved. On the other side of the equation you see people who came from humble beginnings become VERY successful. They stopped identifying with their past and found value in what they could bring to the table. Chris Gardner, portrayed by Will Smith in the movie Pursuit of Happiness, struggled financially and then was homeless before he took charge of his life. By raising his havingness he created (and attracted) opportunities. If he didn’t recognize and connect with his intrinsic value and continued to identify himself as a hopeless, homeless man he would not be where he is today. Raising your havingness can be as simple as connecting with your value and that you deserve all you are receiving. Have gratitude and give thanks every step of the way.

Resisting the process

Every journey to success is a process. There is no way around it. Resisting the process not only makes the journey longer it can also cause it to be painful and frustrating. Until you clear the resistance to the process itself, whether it is yours or anothers, you will remain exactly where you are. In spirit there is no time or space. What you create, dream and imagine is already out there waiting for you to clear enough space (and raise your havingness) for it to come in. In the physical realm things take time. Get out of your own way by clearing resistance. There is plenty of resistance and competition in the world today. Step out of it. Take time each day to find peace and neutrality within. Allow everything that comes up or at you to gently fall away.

Measuring Success

Each of us has a different measure of success. For some it is money, for others it is fame. Some measure success by number of pounds lost on the scale while others by what they see in the mirror. Some measure success by their number of Facebook friends or Twitter followers and others by the quality of people in their life. However you measure your success be sure to be specific and include more than one thing. In fact take a moment now to think of at least 3 things that will clearly let you know you’ve arrived at a particular destination. Make one your real goal and the other two from other areas of your life. Picture yourself basking in the glow of success and measure it to YOU not someone else.

Every journey has its pitfalls and challenges but with strength of spirit and perseverance you can succeed. Success comes in CANS so don’t believe anyone who tells you, you can’t. No one is immune to challenges and is happy and successful all the time. Not everyone will embrace your success or support you on the way. It might feel like an uphill battle at times but in the end it is all worth the journey. There are plenty of energies and naysayers that get in the way so don’t YOU be one of them!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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‘Single tuft of grass in stone desert’ © Mlehmann78 | Dreamstime.com

Jan 11 2012

Life is a Verb

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines life as a noun. It goes on to say it is ”a:the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body b: a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings.” If there is a “quality” that distinguishes us from being “dead” that quality lies in choosing to live life as a verb.

The meaning of life is only truly defined by what is important to each of us as individuals. There is not one ‘singular’ definition. Life is what we breathe into it. It can be dormant and bland or full of sparkle and excitement. It can be merely existing and responding or full of vitality and passion. We can let life pass us by unconscious to the possibilities that present themselves each day or we can live with conscious awareness knowing that there is growth, change and endless possibilities. Life is what you want it to be and you can live it as a noun or a VERB.

Breathe life into your life!

Engaging in life is what breaths life into it. Bring your passion and purpose to the forefront and create from that vibration. Seeing what you are passionate about come to life by creating it moves you beyond your fears and fills your heart with new purpose. Think about those things you’ve created in the past which left you feeling fulfilled. If you created something amazing in the past, trust in your ability to do it again. You know in your heart what breathes life into your life. Follow your heart and it will lead you to places unimaginable because what you decide to bring into being today opens doors to other opportunities.

BEing is not passive!

Engaging in life means engaging with yourself first. The state of being-ness is not merely sitting in a chair void of life and thought. In fact it’s just the opposite. It is a time of discovery, consciousness and healing. It is a time for facing your perceived fears, moving past them and feeling what YOU are feeling. It is a time to bring your spirit to life and listen to your inner self. It is a time for more of who you are as divine being to come in allowing body and spirit to live and work together. Can you envision what could be created when your body and spirit are in harmony? Imagine if you will what it would be like if you looked inside yourself to find answers as much as you look for them outside. All your answers lie within you and all it takes are a few quiet moments to listen.

Breathe new life into your life! Decide now, in this very moment to live life as a verb. Engage in life by turning your attention within and listening to your inner guidance. Shed the layers of responsiblity heaped on you by others which you have carried with you for years. Move past your fears and connect with your vitality and purpose. Live with the excitement and joy brought forth by breathing life into your life! Life is a verb…engage!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

Jan 5 2012

2012: The Beginning of a New Age

The highly prophesied 2012 is finally here and for the last few weeks I can’t seem to call it anything but the beginning of a new age. From transformative to apocalyptic there are so many theories, predictions and beliefs it makes your head spin. Whatever you believe about 2012 it is sure to be an interesting year for everyone. This year will not be business as usual. It calls for each of us as individuals to awaken to truth and justice and to promote peace and love.

We are about to take a step up in our evolution. We are moving from the 4th to the 5th dimension and in terms that relate to the energetic body we are moving from the 5th chakra of communication to the 6th chakra of clear sight and awareness. No matter what you believe, this tremendous energy shift will affect you in some way. 2012 does mark the end of the world but not the apocalyptic ending some are predicting. It is a pivotal year which marks the end of the world as we KNOW it. No longer can we sit idly by unconscious to what is going on around us.

Throughout history all the ‘renaissance’ periods were preceded by periods of perceived darkness. The reason I say ‘perceived’ is because there was growth and change happening even if it was deemed a dark time. As with all growth periods something will shake you up to wake you up. The last few years has been the shake up. From earthquakes to tsunamis on physical and economic levels we are witness and we are indeed shaken, waking up and speaking up. We are no longer willing to follow the status quo or be controlled by lies, ego and greed. We are discovering what is really important in each of our lives including living a passionate life filled with love and purpose.

The age of Aquarius officially began in November 2011. This truly is the dawning of the new age; The age of awareness. Each of us must step up to take a step up! Each one of us has a gift to offer the world and each one of us matters. We must learn again how to relate to ourselves and others. We must find value in what we create as individuals to add to the whole. The new age is a new beginning for each and every one of us but it is our individual intentions and how we live which create that new age. Will you open your eyes and embrace awareness or go back to sleep? Will you promote peace by finding peace within? Will you live a life full of passion and love to create ripples of love in the universe? Will you shine your light of compassion and forgive? Will you live from non-judgement and understanding?

It takes courage and conviction to create a new age. It means taking responsibility and no longer blaming. It means taking a stand but not in the way you might think. Truth has a way of coming out when you stand in your own truth. There is no need to go outside yourself in effort looking for truth. It will find you when you are standing in your own. Like a woman in labor about to give birth we are feeling the pain before a joyous new beginning of life and with most births it takes more than one to create it.

“Alone we can do little; together we can do much”~Helen Keller

I applaud those who are standing up and being seen as a catalyst for change. Whether you agree or disagree with the #Occupy movement two things are for sure; it is being talked about and the movement is clearly growing. The creation of this new age takes all of us and you don’t have to take part by occupying wall street. You can quietly take a stand grounded in your truth and occupy within. You will find that by doing this your life and the lives of those you touch directly or indirectly will change. It’s all up to you. In the beginning there was heaven and earth. Together we can bring about heaven ON earth. What steps will you take to create a new world? ~Shine Your Light Debbie

Spiritlightinsight.com

Dec 28 2011

Resolve to Evolve

As the end of the year approaches it’s time to think about ‘resolutions’ for the new year. It’s also the time to take notice and celebrate your achievements from the last 12 months. The time is NOW to join the EVOLUTION REVOLUTION and resolve to evolve!

What are your resolutions for the coming year? Many people make “body” resolutions like losing weight, quitting smoking or being more active. These resolutions are great AND very beneficial for your good health. Have you considered making resolutions to grow and change your spirit as well? Your spiritual resolutions are equally important! They could include a daily meditation practice, daily prayer, following your dreams, expanding inner calm & peace, being more loving and living life from non judgement with awareness.

When you include and put into practice your spiritual goals for the year you create tremendous change, expand your inner (and outer) universe, live from your truth and evolve as spirit! These resolutions bring you back to your spiritual self and knowing who you are. They also help you with the other resolutions because as your attention turns within you are less affected by other energies that constantly pull you away from what you really want!

Keep in mind that New Year’s resolutions often fizzle quickly and I’ve listed a few reasons why this happens. I’ve also listed positive steps you can take so yours don’t fizzle this year.

There was no plan for taking the necessary steps to reach the goal. Make a plan! If you want to lose weight for instance, what needs to happen for you to do it?
The goal wasn’t realistic and within your control. Be realistic! Make sure it’s a good fit for your life and it’s in your control. If it’s out of your control and not a good fit you probably will give up on it.
The expectation was it would happen over night. Start slowly! If you resolve to meditate each day start with 5 or 10 minutes. If you’ve never meditated you are not going to be able to miraculously sit down and quiet your mind for an hour a day.
Impatience & punishment for perceived failure. Patience and forgiveness are the keys for successfully achieving your resolutions. If you stumble forgive yourself and be patient. Get right back up and try again!
Maybe it’s not YOUR resolution. Turn your attention inward and make sure that your resolution is something YOU want and not based on a picture or concept of someone else’s.

Evolution, which includes growth & healing, is a gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually better form. Spiritually there is no time or space but it does take time to manifest in the physical. To begin the process it’s a good idea to do a little review. What were your new year’s resolutions from last year? What manifested? Where were you successful? What inspired you? In order to know where you’re going, you need to know where you’ve been! Turn your attention within to reflect upon what worked, what didn’t, the dreams that manifested, the changes you’ve made and how far you’ve come in the last year.

Celebrate and honor your successes from last year!

Positive change must be grounded by a strong foundation and your successes ARE that foundation. Building on what you already have achieved instead of betting your success on the unknown starts that positive change, well, POSITIVELY. When you know you are and have been successful in the past you trust yourself and there will be no doubts about your ability to do, have or create something NEW in the future.

Come on! What are you waiting for? Build your foundation for the future! Join the evolution revolution! Make caring for mind, body, spirit and soul a priority by resolving to evolve!~Shine Your Light Debbie

Spiritlightinsight.com

“VesicaPiscis” by ©Daniel Holeman

Dec 7 2011

Healing those who don’t want it….

Healing others is a natural ability and something you may have done your whole life. Perhaps you have recently found a technique that not only helps you heal yourself but others as well. VOILA! you’ve found THE answer you’ve been looking for!

You can heal yourself AND someone else! You feel great and want to share what you’ve learned and shed light wherever and whenever because it feels good to help and you CAN! You can’t even imagine why someone wouldn’t want to heal. After all it’s simple, easy and you definitely have the ability to help. Of course, why wouldn’t you want to share and heal those closest to you?

So there you are, shining your light and healing yourself. A friend comes along and is sad, working through a problem, is depressed, sick or even merrily on their way but you can see, sense and feel something’s not right. You are so enthusiastic about healing, that you jump in with both feet. You’re going to help them! It could be an energy healing, reading or just sending out all the light and love you can. Whatever you use you’re going to make them feel better using your healing ability!

This is very noble…it’s also called being a friend However, before you jumped in, did you ask if them if they wanted the healing? Did you “read” them without permission? I can tell you from personal experience that when you are a healer and do what comes naturally to you it may not always be welcome.When you ‘come to the rescue’ particularly in matters of the heart, without permission you can get punished on an energetic level. The person will go into resistance, put a wall up and run for the hills.

A very dear friend of mine wrote me the perfect metaphor for describing what happens. If you are an out of control healer like I can sometimes be, I think you’ll find a great deal of information in what he wrote!

“You know how if you’re in a dark place, and someone turns on a light when they’re not expecting or wanting it, and they feel blinded? And they need the light turned off NOW because their eyes haven’t adjusted yet? Well I think there’s an analogy to be made when it comes to matters of the heart. Sometimes you need to give people time for their hearts to adjust. Sometimes it’s better to knock on the door and open it sloooowwwwly, letting little bits of light in at a time. You may know they’re better off with lots of light, but that’s not always the point. They might need time to acclimate. And you might need to ask why they were in the dark. That might give you lots of information about how to give them light.”~SBS (reprinted with permission)

Each person knows whats best for their own healing and heals in their own time. In fact, as pointed out to me, you can get so attached to the outcome of the healing that you forget there is a very sensitive human being going through something that may be very painful to shed light on all at once.

Shine your light from within and heal yourself. Allow others to come to you to bathe in your light when THEY are ready. Be a good friend and not only listen, but hear what someone is telling you. They may have a very good reason they want and need to go slooooowwwwly. ~Shine your light~ Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com

Dec 3 2011

Choose LOVE; It only takes a moment…

“There is no Love greater than Love with no object. For then you, yourself, have become love itself.”~Rumi

The holidays are upon us and it is a sure bet that you are busy. You get wrapped up in your life much like gifts which are wrapped to go under a tree. The hustle and bustle of the holidays is also one of the most stressful times of the year. The thing about a wrapped present is that you can’t see what’s inside until you unwrap it. What looks pretty on the outside could very well be hurting on the inside or the really ugly, poorly wrapped present could very well be beautiful on the inside.

During this season keep in mind that many are hurting. They might lash out, be rude or even ignore you but it’s not because of you. They are wrapped up and maybe even trying to cover up their own pain. Whether it is emotional or physical, you might not be able to see it with your eyes so it is difficult to understand why someone acts or responds in a way you don’t think is proper. While in your own busy world this year why not share the spirit of the holidays by taking a moment to respond with love?!

Whether white, black, red, yellow, tall or short, gay, straight, bi, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist (or another religion), married, single, spiritual or not, Democrat, Republican or Independent whatever your beliefs or convictions are there are things which are true for all of us; We are all human beings and we all bleed red. We all have feelings and experience challenges and pain in our lives. Put aside your judgements or better yet, clear the energy of judgement altogether and spread a little joy and peace in the world!

It only takes a moment…

It only takes a moment of your valuable time to pick up the phone and call a friend or family member you haven’t seen or spoken to in a while. It only takes a moment of your time to smile at the homeless person you pass on the street. It only takes a moment to respond with love instead of hate. It only takes a moment to share a smile and say hello to connect with spirit. If someone has in your eyes ‘wronged’ you, it only takes a moment to forgive.

It only takes a moment to respond with love and compassion instead of resistance and anger. The choices you make, words you use and energy you put out at any given moment leave a lasting impression whether you realize it or not. You never really know another’s journey or what they are going through. How you respond can change someones day for the better and it only takes a moment to do it!

Peace on earth, goodwill toward humans is not just a holiday saying. Choosing to “become love itself” only takes a moment. Choosing to acknowledge another human spirit brings heaven to earth. Connect with your own spirit and decide what energy you’d like to generate in this world. It only takes a moment to shine your light which in turn allows others to do the same. This holiday season make moments which take your breath away. Choose love…it only takes a moment. ~Shine Your Light Debbie

Artwork by Daniel Holeman http://awakenvisions.com

SpiritLightInsight.com

Nov 27 2011

The Tao of NO!

Are you a people pleaser? Are you always in giving and healing others mode? Are you inclined to say YES every time someone asks you for a favor or to do something for them? Do you take time for yourself or are you always responding to other people’s needs and wants? Do you give away your valuable time and services because you can’t say NO? If so, you are a healer and it might be time to explore the Tao of NO!

A friend recently told me he was in a “receptive NO mode” and frankly I completely understand what he is saying. For the most part I do believe most of us are givers. We take on and solve problems for our friends, family, bosses, clients and customers. No one likes conflict and so in the essence of keeping the peace and helping we try to make everyone happy.

In business there are times we give away our services to those perhaps less fortunate and on a personal level it feels pretty good to help or give advice to a friend. We do this out of love and/or because we strive to be responsible for our own actions and enjoy giving. There is nothing wrong with doing any of those things BUT if you lose yourself in the process, there is nothing loving, giving or valiant about it!

In fact when you give or give away your most valuable resource (ie your energy) because you can’t say NO you are training people to continue asking for more. In essence you allow them to become senior (more important) in your space and eventually whatever has become senior will take its toll. It might be that your work life is thriving but your relationships suffer. It could be that your caring for others affects your health and well-being or leaves you with little time for yourself. It is possible that you are struggling financially yet someone else needs your product or services and can’t afford to pay you so you give it away to help them out.

The Tao is the flow of the universe

It is the “pattern behind the natural world that keeps the universe balanced and ordered.” (via Wikipedia) Always saying YES is an ‘absolute’ which creates an imbalance and takes you out of your flow. Keep in mind this is about YOU taking care of YOU and your needs. It’s about re-establishing balance and creating boundaries by connecting with your inner NO!

It IS ok to say no!

Do you give yourself permission to say no? I promise your life will not spontaneously combust if you say it every now and again. What I loved about my friends comment about being in a receptive NO mode is that he is taking back his seniority and no longer allowing others to TAKE his time and energy. He is receptive to what is asked of him yet at the same time he is realizing how important it is to take care of himself by occasionally saying no. He is choosing to give instead of always being at the ‘beck and call’ of others.

Check in with yourself and evaluate who or what has become senior to you. You have a right to take time for and care for yourself. You have a right to make a living but be sure to include having a life. Givers and healers you have a right to create boundaries. This is what balance is all about and sometimes saying NO frees up your time and energy so you can be in your flow and say YES to YOU and the things that are important to you!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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