Today’s Healing Message: Be unapologetically YOU! Sometimes we think and act through our filters of invalidation. We say (or do) or don’t say (or don’t do) something based on what we ‘think’ another person wants us to instead of saying or doing what’s really in our hearts.
If you are acting the way you “think” someone wants you to act or you’re saying what you “think” they want to hear you are not only NOT being true to yourself but you are sending a message to yourself that strengthens an unconscious belief you’re not good enough or what you have to say isn’t good enough. When you act or react in ways you “think” someone else expects, you are doing it from YOUR point of view not theirs.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”~Jim Morrison
A friend or lover wants to know how you’re feeling. They want you to be you. How can they get to know the real YOU if you’re trying to be a version of you based on what YOU think they think? No one knows what’s going on in someone else’s head; Especially what they are thinking. Probably the scariest thing in the world to do is to show you are vulnerable. Speaking your heartfelt truth and acting on what comes from the heart does make you vulnerable. When you are not being yourself, you give up your freedom. You are also taking away someone else’s freedom.
Years ago I had a boyfriend who repeatedly lied to me about something rather significant. Significant in HIS mind that is. He kept this big “secret” about himself because of how he “thought” I’d react. As a clairvoyant I knew he was lying about something but never really knew what it was. When I finally got the nerve to confront him he came clean but here’s where is gets more interesting. What he told me was SO insignificant in my mind I kept saying “and…” waiting for some awful, horrible thing to be revealed.
He repeated what he had told me and said ‘there’s no more. That’s it’. He assumed I would act or react completely differently than I did based on what HE thought I would think. For me it not only wasn’t horrible it told me who he REALLY is and I was fine with it. What he did, in effect, was take away my right to choose. My right to be me, to make my own decision and respond how I wanted to respond. Of course I understand, and understood at the time, he lied because he was afraid I’d leave him if I knew the truth. (I did eventually break up with him but not because of what he told me that night.) What he was really doing was projecting how he felt about himself. His assumptions about how I would react were based on his thoughts and his thoughts alone.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Being UNAPOLOGETICALLY you is one of the hardest things any of us can do because it leaves us vulnerable, raw and open but it is precisely that vulnerability that strengthens and validates that who we are might not be so bad. Vulnerability is gentle strength and being vulnerable is empowering. None of us is omniscient and knows what another is thinking so what good does it do to project the feelings or thoughts we have about ourselves unto another?
Speak your truth. Work on being vulnerable and own it. Show others the true you and strive to be the best “you” you can be. Be unapologetically you! You might be surprised at the results!~Shine Your Light Debbie
©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved