Energy – Page 3 – Daily Muse

“This above all; To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”~ Hamlet Act I Scene III by William Shakespeare

Have you ever found yourself saying YES to someone even though in doing so you were saying NO to yourself? I know I certainly have! I recently read Paulo Coelho’s Warrior of Light and one of the passages really got me thinking about how many times I’ve done this very thing and said YES to others at my expense. In retrospect there were all too many times when I said YES and responded how I thought I should and did not express how I was really feeling. Too many times when I was an out of control healer and did not say no….

So often we get caught up healing and giving to others that we lower our vibration and move away from our own truth. In my case I’m sure there were times I said YES because it was the right thing to do but how about the times it was because I wanted someone to like me or I was looking to be validated? How many times have I given up my space and responded by getting involved in the problems and drama of those who are perfectly capable of healing themselves yet they choose not to? Probably all too many! Saying YES and helping a friend in need is important. Doing the “right” thing is also important; HOWEVER saying YES in lieu of taking care of your own problems, challenges or health is something entirely different.

Be true to you…

It’s more common than not for people to say yes to others and we make up wonderful excuses for doing it. We tell ourselves there is a deadline to be met, we will be given back to or loved and dare I mention that at some level we think saying yes will bring us validation or recognition from those we said yes to?! When you are being true to yourself and caring for you sometimes the kindest and most healing thing you can do for yourself and others is say NO. To be sure, saying NO isn’t easy especially when we’ve been taught since we were children to be gracious and kind; BUT why do we so readily say yes to others when it is saying NO to us? I can tell you from personal experience that saying yes doesn’t bring validation, love or recognition depending on who you say yes to. When it’s a “no” for us and yet we say yes, in essence we have allowed someone or something else to become more important (senior) to us.

If you are continually saying yes and afterwards find yourself beating yourself up or complaining about it, isn’t that saying NO to yourself? If it doesn’t feel good going into the yes or it causes you stress, isn’t that saying NO to you? How amusing it is we find it so difficult to say no to others yet say no to ourselves all the time! If you are a healer and giver you may be experiencing the effects of saying yes all too often. When saying yes is saying no to yourself you take on energies, pain and problems from others. If you don’t know what I mean, think about how often you struggle to find a solution to someone else’s problems. Think about the reasons you said yes in the first place. Keep in mind that NO is an option and you have a right to say it!

As we raise our consciousness and become more aware of our own energy and what we are doing with it, don’t you think it’s time to find balance? There are always things we must say yes to that in the end benefit us even though (initially) we wanted say no but in those instances when saying yes is saying no to you at a core level it bares a bit of contemplation. Certainly say yes when it’s a YES for you! Listen to your intuition and say NO if it doesn’t feel right. When saying YES brings joy to your mind, body, spirit and soul, that’s a YES for you! Don’t you think it time to say YES to YOU? Repeat after me….YES! YES! YES to ME!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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There are some people in this world who suck the life right out of you! You know the ones I’m talking about. The energy vampires! These are the “friends”, colleagues or family members who demand your attention and don’t respect your time, energy or space. They test your patience, tax your last nerve and leave you drained and exhausted when you’re around them. Energy vampires are very real and once they’ve gotten their fangs into you it is not only exhausting but the encounter can literally haunt you for days, months or in some cases even years!

Energy vampires don’t always know they are sucking the life out of you. They walk around like zombies full of negativity, drama and pain which they pass around until someone (who is usually trying to help them) becomes the dumping ground. The more you try to help by giving them advice, giving them your valuable time & energy and giving them a forum to vent, the more you give away. That’s a lot of giving! Not to sound like Dr. Phil but what are you receiving from this relationship?

Yes, there are energy vampires out there but it is beneficial to look at your part in the relationship. What generally happens is you’ve given them permission to do this. You’ve given up your space to them. You are healing them and allowing solving their problems and their life process to become more important than your own. When dealing with energy vampires as well as being exhausted, you are probably thinking about them and how to ‘help’ but you can’t solve someone else’s problems or take on their pain. Knowingly, why would you want to? It’s fine to want to help someone but if they can’t “have” the help you are giving and don’t take steps to heal themselves you might want to re-evaluate your relationship with them.

At some point after they’ve sucked the life out of you time and time again your awareness will kick in and you get angry. The funny (not haha funny) thing about an energy vampire is they’ve learned to do what they do much like Armand taught Lestat how to be a vampire in Anne Rice’s Vampire chronicles. If you continue to allow them to suck you dry, you have taught them it’s OK to do so. When dealing with energy vampires you will notice that most everything in the vampire’s life including friends, family and work relationships involve some sort of drama and if it’s not their personal drama they are probably complaining, blaming others or gossiping about someone else.

One reason you get sucked in to someone else’s drama is because you are sensitive to others pain because you’ve experienced it in one form or another. You’ll notice that you are most vulnerable when you are happy. It is said that misery loves company and energy vampires tend to bring you down to their level if you allow it. It should be mentioned that dealing with energy vampires is not easy. If you are highly sensitive, have health issues and/or challenges of your own it is best to care for yourself first and you might have to end the relationship with your vampire friend. It’s never easy to sever a relationship of any kind but sometimes it must be done for your own health and well-being.

Here are a few things to do when there’s an energy vampire on the loose:

Forgive yourself! This is important. You were in a sense ‘sucked in’ to the negative vortex. Now that you recognize what’s happening you can effectively take your course of action.
Forgive them and clear the resistance! Forgiveness is a powerful way to clear energy. Energy vampires have probably been sucking people dry for a very long time and don’t realize it. Forgiving doesn’t mean allowing them to do it. It means forgiving them and sending them on their way.
Set boundaries and own your space! Do this from a non-effort, neutral place. Owning your space is the best way to set boundaries.
Value your loving nature, time & energy! What you have to give has value. Your time & energy has value. Think of it as if it were money. How much would you give to others at the cost of your own needs?
Cut the cords and raise your vibration! If necessary, you may need to end the relationship. No one can take your energy or drag you down without your permission at some level. I know that’s hard to hear but it really is up to you.

It is your right and within your power to say no and stop the energy vampire dead in their tracks! Call back your energy from the takers! Your happy life blood is yours to infuse into YOUR life! Help those who can receive your gifts and move on from those who suck you dry!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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