All healing is self-healing: You can’t “do it” for someone else

All healing is self-healing and no matter how much you want a friend, lover or family member to heal there are just some healing journeys that you are not meant to take with or for someone else.

While it is in your control to hold space, send healing light, understand, empathize, listen and be a good friend it is not necessary, nor should you, actually do it for them.

If you’re one of those healers or empaths that takes on someone else’s pain  you may find yourself in pain and getting angry because you’re not validated for what you have done.*

*As an aside, it is not recommended you heal others in this way but it does happen. You never have to take on someone else’s pain.

What’s right for you or me is not necessarily right for someone else. Healing someone who doesn’t want to do it themselves or the same way as you do will not only lead to frustration but it’s possible that your attention and energy will be in their space.

As a being, that person might be working to empower themselves. If you try to take away their pain you are, in essence, invalidating their ability to heal themselves and it’s very likely they will become uncomfortable or angry. If they do become uncomfortable or angry it is a guarantee they will resist even the best of intentions.

In this situation, it is better to find your neutrality and heal yourself first. Seek to understand what it is within YOU that:

1. is a ‘match’ to the other person (there is always an energy within you that, at some level, matches the person you’re trying to heal)

2. wants to control someone else’s healing process. The difficulties and challenges that one person faces are very different from those of another and who is to say what internal process another person is going through.

Everyone heals in their own time…

To you it may not look like someone is healing if they are taking longer to do it than you would. Each of us makes our way as it is meant to be and the process takes as long as it takes. There is no time frame. It may take a day for one person, a week for another or a lifetime for someone else.

The most loving thing you can do is take a step back to honor and respect where someone is on their healing journey. Allow them the space to go through whatever it is they need to. There may be a very good reason they are taking their time.

It’s also important to recognize that the answer YOU found to heal a similar pain is not necessarily someone else’s answer. If you have judgement about how to do it or how long it should take, it invalidates the person AND the healing that is already in process. Take a step back to really see how much progress has been made.

Each of us must take responsibility for our own energy and healing process. Each of us has the ability to find our own answers. Heal yourself and honor the journey of others without judgement. Support and love those who are in process.

Be there to offer a kind word, a warm hug, or an ear to listen. Show or teach them how to heal with grace. The BEST way to help someone heal is to lead by example; Heal yourself. It shows others it is possible to heal and gives them permission to do the same.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2017 All Rights Reserved

SpiritLightInsight.com
Daily Muse Home Page 

Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

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SIMON SAYS! It’s a control game….

simonsaysRemember the game “Simon Says” from when you were a child? Would you like to play? Come on, humor me, it’s just a fun little game.

The rules of the game are simple. You can only do what “Simon” tells you to do.

Simon says raise your left hand. Simon says put your hands on your hips. Simon says touch your toes.

Simon says touch your nose.  Simon says clap your hands. Simon says blink your eyes. Touch your head. Simon says wiggle your toes. Simon says “say HOORAH!”

Wasn’t that fun?! Did you do everything Simon said? Maybe you found it silly or maybe you simply smiled as you reconnected with a bit of your inner child. (If you didn’t play that’s ok, read on anyway.)

Now let me ask you something, did you touch your head? Did Simon say to do it? If you didn’t touch your head you get to stay in the game. If you did touch your head, you’re out. Bye. Don’t feel bad though. You were just humoring me right? It’s just a silly game….or is it?

From the time we are born we are “taught” to follow the rules, do what we’re told, mind our manners, don’t speak until we are spoken to.  We asked permission to do something or we waited for someone to tell us what to do.  Of course, this is good for children but what happens when the control programming carries over into our adult life?

The game “Simon Says” illustrates how easily we can be programmed to follow the rules and allow others to control us. Simon, the control, tells us to do something and we do it. If Simon doesn’t say it…well, we lost. We failed. We’re out of the game and effectively out of the group.

No one WANTS to lose when their FRIENDS are still playing and so, early on, we figure out that the next time we play the game, all we have to do is make sure that we listen intently to “Simon” the control. We don’t do anything unless Simon Says we should.

Do you, or did you, have a “Simon” in your life? Are you waiting for Simon to say you can DO something? Do you find yourself following the leader so you are part of a group?  Do you spend time responding to rules that may not even apply in present time?

Did you, or are you currently, following someone else’s “rules” or, more importantly, are you still following imaginary rules and playing the game therefore allowing yourself to be controlled by them? If you answered “yes” to any of those questions or you recognize there has been a control at work in your life, maybe it’s time to clear the energy.

If you’re not clear on what I’m taking about think back to a time when an authority figure said to you “Stop it! You’re out of control.” (If no one has ever said that to you, or you haven’t felt that way at some point consider yourself lucky.)

Once you remember that moment ask yourself whose control were you out of? (That’s a hint that maybe the person who said you were out of control meant you were out of their control.) When you become aware of and release the control or “Simon says” pictures that are indeed a part of all of us, you begin to heal a part of you that stops you from being who you truly are.

As you release more “Simons” and stop playing the game you find your freedom and become senior in your space. You are present and in charge as the authority and creator. You come alive with possibilities!

We’ve all allowed ourselves to be controlled or programmed at one time or another but when we start living a more awakened life, those controls hinder and instead of help. If you’re having a challenge with this…I’ll help you out. SIMON SAYS find your freedom!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com 
Daily Muse Home Page

Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.