All healing is self-healing: You can’t “do it” for someone else

All healing is self-healing and no matter how much you want a friend, lover or family member to heal there are just some healing journeys that you are not meant to take with or for someone else.

While it is in your control to hold space, send healing light, understand, empathize, listen and be a good friend it is not necessary, nor should you, actually do it for them.

If you’re one of those healers or empaths that takes on someone else’s pain  you may find yourself in pain and getting angry because you’re not validated for what you have done.*

*As an aside, it is not recommended you heal others in this way but it does happen. You never have to take on someone else’s pain.

What’s right for you or me is not necessarily right for someone else. Healing someone who doesn’t want to do it themselves or the same way as you do will not only lead to frustration but it’s possible that your attention and energy will be in their space.

As a being, that person might be working to empower themselves. If you try to take away their pain you are, in essence, invalidating their ability to heal themselves and it’s very likely they will become uncomfortable or angry. If they do become uncomfortable or angry it is a guarantee they will resist even the best of intentions.

In this situation, it is better to find your neutrality and heal yourself first. Seek to understand what it is within YOU that:

1. is a ‘match’ to the other person (there is always an energy within you that, at some level, matches the person you’re trying to heal)

2. wants to control someone else’s healing process. The difficulties and challenges that one person faces are very different from those of another and who is to say what internal process another person is going through.

Everyone heals in their own time…

To you it may not look like someone is healing if they are taking longer to do it than you would. Each of us makes our way as it is meant to be and the process takes as long as it takes. There is no time frame. It may take a day for one person, a week for another or a lifetime for someone else.

The most loving thing you can do is take a step back to honor and respect where someone is on their healing journey. Allow them the space to go through whatever it is they need to. There may be a very good reason they are taking their time.

It’s also important to recognize that the answer YOU found to heal a similar pain is not necessarily someone else’s answer. If you have judgement about how to do it or how long it should take, it invalidates the person AND the healing that is already in process. Take a step back to really see how much progress has been made.

Each of us must take responsibility for our own energy and healing process. Each of us has the ability to find our own answers. Heal yourself and honor the journey of others without judgement. Support and love those who are in process.

Be there to offer a kind word, a warm hug, or an ear to listen. Show or teach them how to heal with grace. The BEST way to help someone heal is to lead by example; Heal yourself. It shows others it is possible to heal and gives them permission to do the same.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2017 All Rights Reserved

SpiritLightInsight.com
Daily Muse Home Page 

Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

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Please EXcuse the exCuse’!

How many times in your life have you asked someone to excuse you? How many times have you found yourself making an excuse for yourself or someone else?

Asking to be excused is a polite way of asking to be ‘released’ from a requirement.

A few examples: when you were in school and needed to be excused from class, you brought a note from your parents. Others are when you excuse yourself for bumping into someone or you are trying to get someone’s attention when they are doing something else.

What about the other definitions? The english language  is tricky if it is not your mother tongue but it IS interesting that the same word is used to pardon or release someone (or yourself) from blame as well as to offer a “reason” for something you cannot or choose not to do.

How many times a day do you make an excuse or excuse yourself?

Who or what are you exactly excusing and to whom? Are you somehow justifying  or rationalizing something to yourself in the process? Do you find yourself making excuses for someone else? More importantly are you being truthful when you are asking to be excused or are you simply making an excuse?

When you take ownership of the things you do or say there is no need for an excuse! Ownership means taking responsibility for your actions, words, and choices and how they may have affected someone else or possibly even how the excuses (or excusing yourself) affects your life.

Being polite is not just wonderful, it’s the right thing to do. Of course we try to be polite with each other but it’s a completely different energy when we ‘make excuses’  to assign blame,  or we choose not to take ownership of a decision that we (or someone else) has consciously or unconsciously made.

Oh yes. We not only make excuses for ourselves but we make excuses for others and sometimes we do this to assign blame or avoid the truth. When we make excuses for others we are, at some level, healing them but that, my friends, is a subject for another post.

Take a deep dive into “why”!

Don’t ask why, explore why. Exploring WHY you choose a particular word,  an action (or inaction), or why you made a certain choice leads you to learning more about yourself.

Taking an inner journey to explore the “why” opens the door to forgiveness and change.

What you notice in self-exploration is not to be judged. What you did or didn’t do in the past is probably not how you would handle it now. The important steps to this are to see what you see. Acknowledge what you see. Own what you see. Forgive yourself. Taking ownership has a great deal of freedom that comes along with it.

Every thought, deed or action has a learning experience tied to it. Your awareness and ownership of the choices you make (or made) can lead you on an interesting journey of the soul. You may even find that the choices you made in the past were laid on a foundation of programming built by someone else. If that’s the case, it’s time to build your own house on a foundation of ownership and truth.

This is not about being right or wrong in a situation. It’s about owning your choices and taking responsibility for them. If you make a mistake own it and learn from it. Clear the energy. Clear the guilt. Forgive yourself. Once the light of awareness  illuminates an excuse consider it an opportunity to learn and heal.

So please excuse the excuse! Take ownership of your life and stop making excuses! If you find yourself making excuses for someone else in your life forgive them for their lack of awareness. If you make excuses for yourself, forgive yourself.

YOU have the power to transform your life. You have the power to build a foundation without the need to make excuses. If you don’t want to start now, what’s your excuse? ~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2017 All Rights Reserved

SpiritLightInsight.com 
Daily Muse Home Page

Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.