“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”~Philip Pullman
Who doesn’t love a good story? We all have stories. Good stories, bad stories, sad stories, joyful stories and unfinished stories that are still unfolding.
We all have stories BUT are you so attached to your story that you cling to it with reckless abandon? Do you cling so tightly and identify so strongly with your story that you cease to move past it to recognize who you are outside of that story? When we are attached to our story, we have decided that’s who we are but here’s the thing, if that’s what we decide then that’s where we’ll stay.
Attachment can be based on many things but many times you’ll find an underlying pain picture. How many times have we internally told ourselves this story? How many times have we told the story to others and how many times do we embellish and change the story?
I recently took a story telling class to open up a new, vulnerable space and find more of my voice. There are many levels to story telling and I’m not going to go into all of them but I do want to talk about what happens when we are attached to our stories.
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”~Gilda Radner
As I develop a story for the stage it fascinates me how I sometimes find myself attached to a word or a part of the story that feels important but really isn’t. What I get stuck on generally is a random detail that 1. I’ve placed more importance on the detail than the full story 2. generally makes the story longer than it needs to be 3. is something I’m afraid to say or think I shouldn’t say.
There’s also the part where, for whatever reason, I associate the images in my head with telling the truth in great detail in efforts to be understood. Regardless of the reason, the moment I become attached to a word or random detail I’m no longer telling the full story. I notice my energy is stuck in the tiniest of details trying to “fix” or “figure out” what to say and how to continue the story.
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who drones on and on and you’re not quite sure where they are going with the story? For sure I’m guilty of telling a story in such detail it drones on and on! I think we’ve all done this at one time or another and there’s actually a good reason. We, they, us ALL want to be understood!
What I have discovered in this early stage of story crafting (I have so much to learn!) is that I’m experiencing all those places where my energy is stuck in the past! Digging deep to tell our story on stage or even to a friend means we run the risk of being invalidated or judged.
If we are, as U2 eloquently puts it, stuck in a moment and can’t get out of it, a part of our energy is in the past securely attached to that story. If we are attached to a story we run the risk of identifying with and becoming that story instead of being who we are. We are stuck in the past.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR STORY.
Your story is important because it is yours. It’s something you went through. It was an experience, a memory and a part of your past but it is NOT who you are. If you are attached to “I grew up on the other side of the tracks” or “my parents never listened to me” or “He (or she) hurt me” you are attached and you will never be able to move forward until you pull your energy out of those pictures.
There is so much more to you than meets the eye. Embrace your story for what it is. A story. A great (or not so great) memory. It only has power over you if you give it power and it is not who you are.
The fact is that most of us love to tell and hear stories so tell your stories! There is brilliance and magic just waiting to burst forth. Just keep in mind, you are not your story. Always remember that if and when you find yourself attached to a story, it’s time to call your energy back from that story and leave it in the past.~Shine Your Light Debbie
©Debra Taitel 2016 All Rights Reserved
Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.
Several thoughts and thank you for a well written and heartfelt blog, Deb. (1)The Moth has a platform for people to bring their story and, if applicable, the “Moth” team will work individuals -proposed storyteller – to present on a live stage without notes. The Moth travels around the country promoting storytelling and live performances in stage. Please Google “the moth” radio to hear dramatic true stories in first person. (2) often when someone exhibits prolonged rambling stories or conversations, it’s because they are in a level of sympathetic shock, unable to be grounded to gather, organize and convey their thoughts. This is because, as you say and we know, their energy and emotions are “stuck” back to the event- back to the moments of their “story” of which they speak. (3) and because they are trying to make sense of the situation in the story, folks continue to talk, hoping to be understood by others, since they can’t understand it for themselves. (4) Trying to fix or understand the past keeps one in their analyzer. The past cannot be changed but we have free-will to create the future. People need to drop down into their hearts and live “whole heartedly” as researcher Brene Brown says. Being courageous, vulnerable and whole hearted will release ones energy from those past stories and enable a brighter, clearer future and present.
Thank you for your comments Pam. I’m well aware of the Moth. I’ve been doing open mics around town since January. I’ve taken classes as well. Your comments are interesting because I wrote this more for those who are attached to their story and become their story. Yes people do ramble when trauma is triggered. Those folks need professional help. This post was more to bring awareness to those place where all of us at some level attach ourselves to our story. I love Brene Brown. I’m currently reading Daring Greatly. 😊
Im very excited for you and all the folks who will benefit from the stories you will be sharing. Yes, people do become attached to their stories and I am reminded that in medicine, patients are reminded that they are not their illness. Yes, it is something that they have or are experiencing, but it does not define them – they are separate. You are amazing and thank you for your beautiful and thoughtful posts….and pics of miss kitty. 🙂