Why All Relationships Mirror The Relationship You Have With Yourself

RelationshipsHave you met people with plenty of friends with the best relationships?

The person who smiles all the time and offers unconditional love to those dear to them?

Relationship experts will tell you the reason their relationships thrive is because of the relationship they have with themselves. They have learned to love their innermost being and found their true identity.

On the opposite spectrum, do you know those with little friends that go from one relationship to the other without making make it last?

They argue, fight — are jealous, and proclaim they love for each other, but do not show it.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

“The people we are in relationships with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs.” — Shakti Gawain

Those with poor relationships have an unhealthy relationship with themselves. They have not found their true identity within themselves, but look towards others to define them.

They are looking for love in all the wrong places.

Relationships perplex even the best experts. They start out wonderful and both partners are floating on a cloud of love for months.

No one notices annoying traits or character defects, or if they do, they minimise it because they are in love.

As time goes by, things begin to change. The love hormones wane, character defects become clear, and arguing occurs more often.

Before you know it, the two are carrying resentments, yell at each other and contemplate the possibility of the relationship being over.

There are many factors that come into play in a relationship. The dynamics are different for every person, so it is difficult to say the reason for breakups is clear. It is a combination of factors.

One thing experts will tell you is, a person’s relationship with others, and especially a partner, mirrors their relationship with self.

If a person’s relationship with self is unhealthy, it is likely their relationship with others will be unhealthy.

Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you stay single.

You find out quickly if you are a selfish person once you are in a relationship, because when there is someone to “share” with, you face a decision to “share” or not.

Communication, compromise, and conflict resolution come up, and you face having to lay your pride down and work together on issues.

Don’t Focus On The Externals

“Relationship is a mirror. Every moment the other reveals you, exposes you. The closer the relationship, the clearer is the mirror.” — Rajneesh

A contributing factor whether a relationship will be healthy or unhealthy depends on where each partner finds happiness and fulfillment.

Many people seek this in external objects or people. I’m sure you’ve heard people proclaim: “I’ll be happy if he did this or she said that” or “If I only got that job, new house, baby.”

If a person seeks a partner to complete them, conflicts arise.

It is not your partner’s job to make you happy. It is your job to make you happy. It is your partner’s job to make themselves happy.

When you seek happiness externally, as in a person, you will expect things, and resentments arise. Resentments bring anger and anger brings arguments.

This is one reason people go from one relationship to another.

They think a person will “complete” them, but once the honeymoon phase is over, the needy partner sucks energy from the other trying to find fulfillment.

They may be: needy, jealous, controlling, and manipulative because they seek happiness through their partner. It does not work.

In order for a relationship to be healthy, each person should be at a place where they have dealt with issues such as: low self-esteem, jealousy, resentments, and inner pain.

Each partner must know self-love that radiates outward and add value to a relationship instead of seeking love and affirmation from a partner.

Many people gravitate toward partners who are opposites, which leads to conflict.

Conflict can help each partner to begin a journey within themselves to find unconditional love and wholeness. From there, unconditional love is given to the partner.

If you are in a relationship that is troubling you, stop pointing fingers and get quiet with yourself. Take time to contemplate, meditate, and take a season in which you find out who you are.

Deal with your issues related to: low self-worth, anger, bitterness, laziness, fear, etc.

Own up to your “junk” in the relationship and commit to looking inward to find your identity, unconditional love, and wholeness.

From there, you will maintain healthy relationships and add value to those around you.

If you cannot do this alone, consider seeing a relationship counsellor.

Counsellors are trained to help people move past their issues and offer insights on changing attitudes and behaviour.

Many people use this time and go on to develop healthy relationships.

You can too.

This post was written by Tony Fahkry, Self-empowerment Author and Expert Speaker. and was originally published on May 17, 2018 on The Mission (at

Happy May!

Awakening Souls Energy Insider~May 2018 Edition

Welcome to the (first) Awakening Souls Energy Insider
May 2018 Edition

Happy May!

In the merry merry month of May….

May arrives under the influence of the April Pink Full Moon in Scorpio. It is one of the most potent and magical Full Moon’s of the year. Full Moon’s are always lighting up that which was in darkness.

They draw things out of us and awaken us in areas that were previously hidden. The Scorpio Full Moon encourages us to release what needs to be cleared in a way that will deeply transform. It also encourages us to do it in a way that will awaken and enlighten. Scorpio represents unconditional love and consciousness. What a magical beginning to the month!

Bubbling beneath the surface? Whatever has been bubbling beneath the surface will emerge just like the May flowers. Give yourself space and time to sit with it. All too often we try to “push” energy away and on an energy level this doesn’t work. It’s time to allow whatever it is to “bubble up” so you can release it. What better month than one that includes unconditional love? Always remember you are supported by energies from the ether worlds. Surround yourself in the loving embrace of those energies.


Stubborn is as stubborn does…Although we technically started the month under the influence of the Scorpio full moon, April 20 – May 21 the Sun is in the sign of stubborn Taurus. This is a great time to look at where we are being stubborn. What don’t you want to let go of “on principle”? How effective has that been so far? Yes, it’s ok to laugh! Find your neutrality with all those places you’ve been stubborn..until now.

Roman astrologers considered Taurus ruled by Venus, the goddess of beauty, and Earth, the goddess of the earth and nature so there is love and beauty in our connection with our energy, our spirit and the Earth. In other words ground yourself into the loving arms of Mother Earth.

Give yourself a break! When was the last time you cut yourself some slack? I know we all seem to enjoy punishing and pushing ourselves. All that means is we are punishing ourselves and in effort. This month we are going to witness an unprecedented clearing of energy and if you don’t give yourself a break you will “match” to the lower vibrations on their way out.

For the next 30 days check in with yourself periodically throughout the day to see where your energy and attention is. Bring it back to you. There is more power when you take a step back as an observer than there is when you get caught in the tornado. Now to be clear, I’m not talking about not doing what you do to usher the energy out. None of us should stay innocent bystanders. All I’m suggesting is that you don’t match the energy, anger and chaos that you see around you.

Observe with curiosity and open-ness. Use your creativity to birth new solutions and add your brilliance to the world so all may take a step up in awareness.~Shine Your Light~Debbie

A note to my followers: If this post looks familiar to you, you’re right! Awakening Souls Energy Insider is copyrighted material included in my monthly newsletter. I’ve chosen to add it here as a monthly post to reach those who don’t already receive my newsletter. 

©Debra Taitel 2018 All Rights Reserved

Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Spiritual Teacher and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.