“I love you, no matter what!”

The following post was written and posted by a student on her blog after attending my LOVE: Let it Flow meditation workshop. I loved it so much that with her permission I’m re-posting her photos & personal thoughts about what she discovered. She took the pics while walking home after the workshop….the universe works in wonderful ways! Thank you Claire!!!

(I took the above picture walking home from the el today; it was part of hundreds of valentines strung along the fence at a local school. Thank you, anonymous student!)

“…and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.”

I shared this quote a few days ago when I felt lost — when I couldn’t find the energy to tell you so in my own voice. Simple as that. I was having a difficult time believing that anything was unfolding, much less the Universe. I felt stopped up and stuck, kicking and screaming at the bottom of the proverbial winter doldrums barrel. Perhaps that sounds a bit melodramatic — but it wasn’t a great week.

Then I saw the Max Ehrmann quote, and it gave me pause. I knew something was unfolding, even if it was happening in the background and was not yet clear to me. And I had to have faith that given time, patience, intuition, and the love of the Universe, I’d be clued back in when the time was right.

As you may have guessed, the time was right today.

I went to a meditation workshop this afternoon at Yoga Now, lead by the bright and vibrant Debbie Taitel. It was, in keeping with the upcoming “holiday,” a meditation workshop about love. Was there chocolate to be passed around and chit chat about potential Monday evening plans? Of course. But the real focus of the afternoon was about love as an energy, love as a vibration, and the love that we have for ourselves. After all, if you don’t have authentic love for yourself, how do you give it out to anyone or anything else? Common sense, right?

Debbie asked us if we loved ourselves unconditionally. I was in the front row and didn’t look behind me, but I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who shook my head “no.” Which, truth be told, breaks my heart. (Oh em gee, no pun intended!) Do you love yourself unconditionally? Do we even know what that means? In various ways, I feel like I’ve said this all before. We compare, we measure, we “should” ourselves to death. We say, “I could’ve done better,” or “I hate it when I…” or “I’ll never be…” You can play that game all day long. But what about unconditionally loving our humanness?

I’m not saying that we should naively sail on through our lives, patting ourselves on the back and exclaiming our unrelenting fabulousness. That’s not love; I don’t even know what that is (maybe narcissistic personality disorder?)! What I am saying is to love our beings, to love this unfolding, even when it feels less than desirable (to put it mildly). As I was walking home from the workshop, I felt my mind begin to play its regular games; the self-doubt, the self-criticism. I was judging decisions I had made about the day, about my weekend, decisions that, when it comes down to it, hold very little bearing on the grand scheme of things. And right there, crossing the street, I thought to myself, “I love you, no matter what.”

I love you, no matter what.

But just because I said it once (or twice) doesn’t mean from here on out, I’m good to go. Building a true love for ourselves takes time, I think. And I know that I have a tendency to tie my blog posts up into nice little bows, but I don’t have a bow today. I do, however, have a different perspective of what I’m capable of. And isn’t that how change begins? The idea of loving myself and loving my process of “being” unconditionally is one of those propositions that makes my head hurt because I just can’t.completely.grasp.it. Kind of like astronomy, which I took twice (for fun, both times) and still do not understand. It’s just…out there. Literally! 😉

That being said, the Universe is unfolding as it should, in the same way that I am unfolding as I should (not “should”)…even when I have weeks that make me feel like I’m moving backwards rather than forwards. I am moving how I need to move. I would not have gone to that workshop today if I wasn’t ready, in some capacity, to strengthen the love that I have for myself and for my human experience.

So…I’m going to try.