Daily Muse

Love is a vibration that resides within you and lives on forever. It is timeless and has the power to heal. Love, in fact, allows the most powerful healing one can receive to happen. Once you have shared your love with another human being, if it is true unconditional love, it is shared forever whether you are together or not.While your highest vibration of love doesn’t change, the circumstances around how you love and who you love do. For those hurting I want you to know it is possible to use the power of love to heal.

Your expression of love and how you love changes over time. Case in point, you loved your teddy bear when you were three. If you still have that bear it warms your heart and brings you comfort every time you pick it up. At one time you loved that bear so much you wouldn’t let go but now you wouldn’t bring that teddy bear out on a romantic evening with your significant other. You express love differently than when you were in the 3rd grade or middle school or even in college. As you grow older you realize (hopefully) that it isn’t necessary to hold on for dear life for true love endures and never dies. It never dies because it is a part of you and it is in fact who you are. YOU ARE LOVE!

I rarely write in first person because frankly I find it challenging but this is a personal experience which I want to share so that you too can harness your own personal power of love and use it to heal. That said, here we go! I can honestly say that now in this very moment I’ve never been more IN love. No, I don’t have a new boyfriend. I haven’t gotten together with an ‘ex’ either. I am, in fact, still a single woman making her way in this glorious world; And yet I’m completely, unequivocally IN love! What prompted this love moment? Oddly it came after a phone call from an old flame who I haven’t heard from in more than 10 years. Now I admit that I’ve been blessed with ex boyfriends and lovers who still call me but this call was special because it took him 10 years to actually make the call. 🙂 What happened as we caught up with our lives and took a brief trip down memory lane was that despite having fond memories I was still holding on to a whole lot of ‘wrong’ and not acknowledging the ‘right’.

Here’s what I mean by wrong: I always choose the wrong guy. What went wrong? What’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Now I want to be clear that these things weren’t specific to this particular ex but nonetheless it became all to clear to me that I’ve had those pictures for a very long time and although I honestly thought I’d let go of them there was another layer to clear. During that very phone call I realized I don’t choose the wrong men! The men I was with were the perfectly right men for me at the time. The ex who called was the perfectly right man for me back then. We had fun, our love was true and the crazy experiences we shared will be cherished forever by both of us. We learned a lot from each other. I affected his life just as he had affected mine and prior to that phone call I always wondered if he got as much out of it as I did.

Once the realization hit that these were the right men THEN but not the right men NOW my entire perspective changed. All my questions about “wrong” turned into “what did I learn”. I began to see all my past relationships in terms of the LOVE I experienced. I was not wrong; There’s nothing wrong with me! I wasn’t perfect but I wasn’t wrong either. I was learning and loving and reacting based on where I was then. I forgave myself and as I did, every single relationship literally flashed before my eyes. Any lingering hurt disappeared and all I felt was LOVE and appreciation for every relationship in my life. This is what happens in a healing! Finding just one piece of the puzzle can heal years of ‘wrong’.

Now I do realize that not everyone is blessed with an ‘ex’ who will call them and actually verbalize how much a past relationship meant to them but that doesn’t mean you can’t validate the relationship and heal. The healing begins when you stop seeing yourself as unloveable and wrong. Your relationship was not wrong when you entered into it. When you fall in love, you are IN love…. YOUR vibration of love.Validate the LOVE and the fact that you have the capacity to LOVE that much!

Focus on the love and the good instead of focusing on what went wrong. Maybe you were learning and weren’t wrong! Maybe you were the best thing that ever came into that person’s life (or visa versa) but it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe in time they will be able to call you to tell you how much you meant to them but if not, it’s up to you to forgive yourself, let go of any ‘blaming’ and reconnect with your highest vibration of love.

LOVE! Shower in it! Surround yourself with it so you can finally see through filters of LOVE that there’s nothing wrong with you. You ARE loveable when you are IN love. Love is your natural state of being-ness and sharing that love by being IN it is the greatest gift you could ever bestow upon another human being AND yourself!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Letting go in many ways is the same as planting seeds for success. It has its own growth period which, not unlike planting a tulip bulb months in advance takes time to process. It might take hours, days, months and in some cases even years to process the growth you put in motion by even merely thinking of letting go!

There is always a growth period that accompanies letting go so it’s best to be ready for the growth process. It’s not advisable to resist the process as it will take longer if you do. Just be aware that the ‘events’ which occur before you actually let go, while you are letting go and after you’ve already let go are all a part of the natural process of growth and expansion as a being.

You wouldn’t hold on to something if it was causing a great deal of pain would you?

Letting go is difficult because there’s always a reason you held on in the first place. It’s important to get to the root of what you’re really letting go of. Many times the reason it’s so challenging to let go is because of resistance. If you are holding on to painful thoughts, energies or false hopes it’s a good idea to get to the bottom of it. What are you really letting go of? I can tell you with a great deal of certainty that there’s always another reason you have difficulty other than the one you see on the surface. Delving deeper into your psyche and why you hold on to energy not your own more often than not uncovers more to let go of. All letting go is a process of cause and effect. Once you discover the real cause or reason it changes your perspective and directly affects your life because of the growth period that ensues. Many times it can feel like your whole life has gone topsy turvy.

If you hold on to something for long enough won’t it turn out the way you want it to?

When you begin to see letting go as a process for growth and not as an event that happens in one fell swoop you will indeed become aware of things you weren’t aware of before. Those things were always there but you might not have been aware of them. If you really get honest with yourself (and it takes a lot of courage to do this) you may find that what you have difficulty letting go of is an expectation or outcome. I see this most often when I work with women letting go of relationships. They just can’t seem to let go of that guy (or gal) they fell madly in love with even though the relationship itself was miserable.

What do you use to fill up the emptiness?

The process and growth that goes along with letting go is different for everyone but there is usually some form of grief in the beginning. Be extra gentle with yourself. When you’ve had an energy taking up space for a long (or even a short) time there is a feeling of emptiness. When what you thought you wanted really isn’t what you wanted, you may have to let go of a dream that no longer applies. Fill up those empty spaces with YOUR ENERGY and new dreams! Your energy feels good to you and having more of your own energy allows you to shift gears, expand as a being and move forward with your life. Letting go and filling up with YOU brings joy and a sense of feeling alive to body and spirit!

Although letting go of energies takes milliseconds, your body needs time to process these spiritual changes and you will experience a new awareness of the growth you’ve probably already been going through. In other words, it starts to make sense. 🙂 In the process of letting go give yourself time to grieve. Allow it to BE a process and not a one time event. Allow the process to happen without resistance or fighting it. Keep in mind you are IN a growth period but you are NOT your growth period. Once the energies have cleared, like the tulip bulbs planted in the cold bare days before winter you will once again feel alive as you experience a beautiful blooming in spring!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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