Can you hear me now?

Remember the game “telephone” from when you were a child? That’s the game where one person whispers a sentence or two to another, then they whisper it to someone else and so on, until finally when everyone has told everyone else, the last person says the words out loud.

Perhaps I even as I described the game it gave you a chuckle. No matter what was whispered in the ear of the first person, the last person rarely had the words correct. If you remember, sometimes the sentence was complete gibberish and made no sense at all! 🙂

At the end of the game, everyone usually laughed as the person who made up the sentence(s) stated what it was supposed to be in the first place. Although it is a fun game, it clearly illustrates some of the challenges one can encounter in daily communications.

Have you ever had someone completely misunderstand something that you clearly stated? Of course there is the obvious thought that maybe you didn’t communicate clearly. It could also be based on the intent of the communication itself.

BUT it is also possible that the person HEARING what you were trying to say was hearing you through the “filters” of their own personal experiences! If this happens, not only are they are no longer “hearing” YOU but the communication stops.

Just like in the telephone game, they are hearing what they “think” they heard and while they are processing whatever button you inadvertently pushed, they can’t hear anything else. 

When you are aware that this has happened, the tendency is to try to fix it or heal them to clear it up. The other thing that may happen is that you blame yourself. Either way, if someone can’t hear what you are trying to communicate, there isn’t anything you can say or do to clear it up in that moment.

So, what do you do if you feel someone has misunderstood you? Well, you can begin by forgiving yourself. 🙂 This is particularly important if you think you said something wrong! It is possible that you didn’t say anything wrong per se but that you hit an already tender spot (a picture they are working on clearing.)

The next thing you can do is to allow that person the space they need to process. If you try to heal them or fix it, in effect it’s like digging a hole for yourself. Keep in mind that whatever button you pressed, it’s theirs and you don’t have to be responsible for someones else’s “stuff”. 🙂 

All in all just remember that you communicate based on your own personal experiences and others hear you through theirs. Be kind to yourself and those you are communicating with. Come from a place of loving intent and forgive yourself and others if things go amiss. Shine Your Light~Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2010


Debra is a clairvoyant reader, spiritual healer, coach and teacher helping people heal their spirit so they can create and live the life they choose. She has been a featured guest on Wings of Love and Visible by Numbers radio broadcasts. For more information or to schedule a reading please send an email to or visit her website.

8 thoughts on “Can you hear me now?

  1. The timing for this to come out is eerily creepy. Even though that gives me the heebie jeebies a little (okay, I just had to use that phrase), thank you!

  2. Hi Deb~ So good! I had a client so angrily leaving because I would not “tell her what to do” and was guiding her to her own answers. She could not hear what I was seeing/saying and trying to clarify only made things worse. I went through all of what you were talking about and it’s nice to know you and others are faces with similar moments. Ah yes, forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. Thanks for the validation. Well written and well said!

  3. Hello Debbie,

    … you’re writing about my life again. 🙂

    There’s someone in my life who has always heard whatever I say (or do) through negative filters.. always accused me of having ulterior motives, etc. Fortunately I have been able to limit my contact with that person, as my previous efforts to
    “fix it or heal them to clear it up” enraged that person even more.

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