You’ll Get Through It!

sandstormLast night a dear friend called and told me she didn’t ever think she would be happy again. She went through an epic betrayal which later led to her divorce.

It’s difficult to know what to say when someone is telling you they want to give up because they are convinced they will never be happy again. Especially when it’s clear they are still in the middle of the storm.

If you ARE in the middle of a storm, you can’t see or hear anything but the nasty loop that constantly runs through your head. You can’t hear or see anything but the “I should have, could have or why didn’t I” as you review each and every moment of your relationship. We’ve all been in that place to varying degrees at one time or another, myself included.

There is nothing you need to fix or solve. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. Maybe you did or didn’t do anything wrong. You can only take responsibility and own your part….can you forgive yourself for not being aware? Can you forgive yourself for those times you didn’t hear, or weren’t paying full attention? Can you forgive yourself for having beautiful hopes and dreams? Can you acknowledge the hurt?

Despite all that is happening, the storm and the chaos has nothing to do with you! What happened, what is possibly happening now, while you’re in the middle of it, feels awful. There is seemingly no sun, no moon, no hope; and it feels as if it’s never going to end but let me assure you it will.

The past, the break-up, the separation, causes a hurt that you don’t feel will ever end yet the past is in the past. It’s already happened. You got through it day-by-day. You survived! Now it’s time to go inside and release all that was stirred up by the outside storm.

The storm can’t keep going unless you feed it with your thoughts. While this is true, I know it doesn’t offer comfort for the turmoil in your mind and the pain that it causes. Just because someone isn’t physically standing over you with a baseball bat hitting you over the head doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt as if they were.

I came across the following passage that directly speaks to what happens:

“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”~Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

While I don’t necessarily agree one should keep their eyes closed I read the passage as sometimes we must shut out all the extraneous noise to go within. To quiet the voices in our heads; the thoughts in our minds. To bring comfort and kindness to our bodies.

You are stronger than you think. Have courage, faith and hope because it’s really true that once the storm is over you will be forever changed and you won’t be the same person who walked in.~Shine Your Light Debbie

This is for my best girls K and L and D. I love you all and I’m here in spirit holding your hand every step of the way!

©Debra Taitel 2016 All Rights Reserved

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Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

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Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Asking the right questionsHave you ever gone looking for an answer to something and no matter what you do, where you look or what you meditate on the answer never comes?

If this has ever happened to you (or is happening now) you might want to ask a different question; Maybe the question you’re asking isn’t really yours!

Now you might be wondering what I mean by “is (are) the question(s) really yours?” What I’m asking you to ask yourself is where are your questions coming from?

Are you asking questions out of habit? Is there programming in place that causes you to ask certain questions or go on a quest to find answers for someone (like a friend or family member) other than yourself?

As an aside, it’s also possible you are receiving answers to the questions you are asking but you don’t necessarily recognize that no answer is THE answer. A perfect example is if you are constantly asking yourself “what is wrong with me?” and you don’t get an answer. Could it be that you’re not receiving an answer because there’s NOTHING wrong with you? Yes, dear ones, in the world of “everything is energy” no answer might actually be THE answer!

If at first you don’t succeed…

When asking questions simply ask a question then allow it to lead you to another question and then another. You may find that when you allow your questions to lead you to other questions your next question might answer to your previous question!

If the same question keeps coming up over and over or you find yourself stuck or in effort, make it a point to change the question. For example if you’re asking why this or that is happening (or hasn’t happened) to you or for you, change the question to “what do I need to clear to create space or raise my having-ness” to move forward?”

This is where you might notice the question wasn’t yours in the first place. Try not to judge whatever comes up for you. Just notice your energy and your thoughts. As spiritual seekers looking to heal, whether you like the answer or not, you are receiving valuable information.

Ask the right questions and the answers find YOU!

All healing starts with not only asking the right questions but continually asking questions. In the grand scheme of things, you don’t know what you don’t know (none of us do) and how will you find out if you don’t continually ask questions? When you ask the right questions the answers WILL find you. Allow your answers to come without expectation OR resistance.

It’s best to be open, in neutral and set your intention to accept the answers even if you don’t necessarily like what they are. If an answer doesn’t seem to come or you feel stuck in a never-ending loop of asking the same question over and over, check to see where the question is coming from or if it’s even yours.

If it’s not yours, let it go and ask a different question. If it IS yours and you’re still stuck, look within to see 1. if you already have the answer but haven’t acknowledged it yet and 2. if you’re asking a question directly related to what it is you really want know. It might be that you’re afraid to ask because you’re afraid of what that answer might be.

When you ask the right questions, you will receive answers. You may find that your question keeps leading you back to you because really, you already have your answers. Your answers live in your heart, your mind and your curious spirit. Look inside! You have a treasure trove of answers just waiting for you!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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