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Are you an out-of-control healer? Do you find you become responsible or blame yourself for other people’s feelings, reactions or experiences? Do you go into automatic healing mode with others who may not actually want it?
I stand before you with a confession; I am an out of control healer. Being an out of control healer was, and still is, very much a part of my own personal healing journey. Each time it happens I look inward to find the energy picture that causes me to get stuck in that space time and time again so I can I peel off yet another layer of “stuff” that I’ve taken responsibility for which is not mine.
How do you know if you’re an out of control healer?
Healing others and offering help is not necessarily being an out of control healer but you may be an out of control healer if:
- you give away your energy and attention to those in need at the expense of your own needs
- you become responsible for another’s experience, growth period, feelings or reactions
- you blame yourself and constantly try to “fix” things outside of your control
- you become an energy sponge for others pain
- you try to “solve” everyone else’s problems or dramas
- you continue to heal those who don’t want it and you go into effort trying to heal them
- you only hear from so-called friends when they are having a crisis
- you befriend every hurting soul you see
Those are just a few of the ways you can tell if you’re an out of control healer but why one does this is also important to look at. All healing is self-healing and there are those who don’t wish to take responsibility for their part in the drama or situations they find themselves in. If you continue to heal or give your energy and attention to them, they will become angry because in essence you are trying to “show them” and heal what they don’t want to look at within themselves. If you find yourself in a situation when you are doing this, look within yourself to see what it is within you causing you to snap into healing mode.
Use your experiences for self-healing
Every person will have a different set of energies or pictures but I wanted to share a recent discovery on my part after I was “blamed” for making someone feel inadequate. In a conversation I made an innocent comment about how I was “used to doing it differently” than how they did it. I then asked a question to clarify the different style. I was not trying to invalidate in any way yet I noticed the person’s pictures get lit up and I quickly went into healing mode. I took responsibility for everything she was feeling, blamed myself, decided I was a horrible monster of a person for lighting up her pictures in the first place then tried to fix it which of course didn’t work.
No one can “make” someone feel inadequate (or feel however they are feeling.) It is those places where they already feel inadequate that are coming up for them. One also can’t be responsible for lighting up the energies or pictures someone else is working on. It doesn’t mean I didn’t feel bad about causing someone pain because it, in fact, affected me rather deeply and it took hours before I was finally able to forgive myself and let go. I had to turn my attention within to find those places where I felt “inadequate”. I had to find those places within where I felt like I’d said something wrong and forgive myself for being human and occasionally saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I had to turn within, take responsibility and forgive myself for whatever part I played in it.
Life is not always about smooth sailing on calm waters and each of us can learn from every situation that is presented to us. If you are an out of control healer you are being shown all those places you can work on within yourself. Dig deeper into your inner world and uncover that which has been hidden or you haven’t wanted to look at until now. Forgive yourself for the part you played in the past and allow yourself and others to be where they are. How someone else is feeling is beyond your control. How someone hears you is out of your control. Someone who doesn’t want to heal is beyond your control. Taking responsibility and forgiving yourself for whatever part you played IS in your control and is also a part of your own healing process.~Shine Your Light
©Debra Taitel 2013 All rights reserved
2 thoughts on “Confessions of an Out of Control Healer; Can you relate?”
I have definitely been an out of control healer and I can relate, your insight definitely speaks to me. Thank-you for this great post!
My pleasure! 🙂