AWARENESS – Page 40

“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.”~Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

Fear is a powerful energy which, if allowed to grow, can hold you hostage. It is gripping and debilitating and at times it feels like you are being held in a state a suspended animation until it finally lets loose its grip. When your mind is occupied by fear it not only takes over your thoughts but sends out a vibration of fear which can actually cause what it is you fear to manifest.

Everyone has fears but as the opening quote says; “To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.”

Living in Chicago I have a first hand seat in watching how the energy of fear can take over as we approach the upcoming NATO Summit. I admit that perhaps I have a jaded view of a worldwide event being an exciting time however with the city going on virtual lockdown due to possible terrorist and/or unruly protest activity one can feel the fear in the air. The fear mongering media is not helping nor are those (whom I consider) irresponsible ‘spokespeople’ for the various protest groups descending on the city. One friend called it ‘fear porn’. It is spreading like wildfire and just as a wildfire needs fuel to grow, every person who allows fear to take over feeds the fire and gives it strength. This is not to say don’t be cautious, alert and do what you need to do for your safety when fear comes up but don’t allow your fear to fuel the fire. As you know, a fire which is not fed soon burns out.

Fear is an energy…

The energy of fear can help or hinder you. In terms of the physical body fear is useful and triggers a fight or flight response in times of imminent danger but how many of the fears you now face are based on real danger? How much of that fear is based on fact and what is it that you really fear? Most often fear comes from what you ‘think’ might happen in the future or something that happened in the past. In terms of what might happen in the future, how many scenes have played out in your mind with a negative outcome therefore fueling your fear? If you are afraid to fly, for example; Are you really afraid to fly or are you afraid you might die or are you afraid because someone else is in control of flying the plane? If your imagination runs rampant and you fuel horrible images the fear is going to grow and it will indeed hold you hostage.

If it comes from a past experience it could be an important lesson like don’t take the hot cookie sheet out of the oven without using a pot-holder but it could also be that you got hurt in a relationship and the fear of getting hurt stops you from loving again. One is based on reality and one is based on energy you hold from the past. Now, if your intuition kicks in listen to it! The fears I’m referring to are those you hold on to resulting in a pattern of negative thoughts which are fueled and grow until they take over; The fears which “grab you by the tail and swing you around.”

It’s important to face your fears head on and decide if the fear is even yours. If you are matching someone else’s picture of fear or take on fears of others you are being held hostage. Don’t feed it, fuel it or obsess about it. Release yourself from the prison of fear by refusing to fuel the fire and letting it go. Find the truth of your fears. Are they fact or fiction? Fuel the fires of passion, love and creativity! Feed the flames that lead to your dreams coming true! Build a bonfire of joy and fuel it until it quickly becomes a wildfire touching every part of your life!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Photo: Fire Heart © Ba-mi | Dreamstime.com

Once again I find it’s time to write about a particular energy trend emerging in reading sessions. That trend is validation or perhaps more to the point, why are we so invalidated that we seek validation outside of ourselves? In a vast world full of competition it’s difficult to validate our own self. Seeking recognition from others is looking outside yourself. There’s nothing wrong with wanting validation but it’s important to be able to validate YOURSELF so you can accept and ‘have’ the validation you receive from others.

Why is it so hard to validate ourselves?

Validating ones self is not easy because you’ve simply been taught from a very young age not to. It’s ok to validate someone else but it’s considered egotistical if you validate yourself. Why is it ok to validate and recognize others but not yourself? Validating yourself is not about praising yourself publicly. It’s ok to be proud of what you’ve accomplished and there’s nothing wrong with telling people BUT constantly shouting your good deeds from the rooftops and telling others how amazing you are time and time again is actually you wanting others to validate you. Validation like everything else is an energy and sometimes the invalidation you carry causes you to see things and react through the filters caused by that invalidation.

How much validation can you have?

Perhaps you’ve been recognized but in your heart you don’t feel like you deserve the recognition because in your eyes it wasn’t good enough. I’ll bet that some time in your past you did, said or created something you were proud of and felt good about only to have someone else invalidate it. If that happened and you owned what they told you as truth at some level you’re holding on to the energy of invalidation and it has had an effect on everything you’ve done since that time. In order to have validation from others you must be able to validate yourself and know inside that what you do or say has value to YOU.

Until you can validate yourself it will never be enough….

No matter how much recognition you receive or from whom, until you can validate yourself it will be fleeting at best. Receiving an award (or recognition) is wonderful but what happens after your 15 minutes of fame is over? Can you validate yourself for it or do you find yourself trying to figure out how to do it again? Have you spent your life trying to get validation from a particular person yet you are ignored or you feel like you always say the wrong thing and try to correct it? Do you feel like nothing you do or say is good enough in the eyes of another? Are you validating yourself with food or sex or shopping or some other addiction which makes you feel good for merely a moment? Some people shop so they have lots of “things” but do those “things” really validate you? Some people validate their bodies with food only to beat themselves up later for gaining weight or feeling awful. Some are in effort trying to be the “top dog” who makes the most money so all they do is work. None of those things work.

Recognition and validation from others is a beautiful thing but so is validating yourself and accepting validation from others humbly and with grace. It is up to you to find what validates you. Does a job well done make you stand back and smile without someone else telling you? Can you graciously accept and know with all your heart that you deserve validation from others? Can you give to others without expectation of receiving anything in return and you feel good about it? In the world today it’s difficult even under the best of circumstances to receive a spirit to spirit HELLO. If your spirit does not get a HELLO it causes you to feel empty, alone, ignored and invalidated. A simple hello while looking into someones eyes is a huge validation for both of you. You saying hello to your own spirit validates you.

Finding validation in an invalidating world means you validate yourself as well as others. It’s also important to be aware of the validation you receive every day. If you’re looking for validation scroll down to the end of this post and enjoy one of my favorite videos on the subject. This short film called VALIDATION does show how a bit of validation can change your inner and outer world. Let me finish by saying….HELLO! YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU HAVE VALUE! Can you see these things about you for yourself?~Shine Your Light Debbie

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