Tag: living mindfully

Mindful Giving: Donating with Dignity

Posted on by Debra Taitel

“I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”

 Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It’s holiday time and this time of year, perhaps more than any other, we open our hearts and give to those less fortunate than we are. After all, that’s the very essence of the holiday spirit, right? Giving freely is a wonderful thing but we need to keep in mind that it is not up to us to judge who we are giving to or to consider those folks victims. It is important that we give mindfully, with awareness and generosity of spirit.

Mindful Food Donations…

If you choose to donate food to be distributed via food pantries or other organizations please check expiration dates as well as the type of food you are donating. I offer this as a reminder because I’ve seen firsthand that people clean out their cabinets without looking.

When you donate food, there are designated people who sort the food and checks the expiration dates. Several years back one of those people was me. As I went through what I thought was kind and generous donations I found food items with expiration dates that were more than 10 years old.

After having to throw out item after item I finally broke down in ugly cry tears. I could not understand the lack of thought and awareness. Yes, people were giving but it was not mindful, aware or filled with grace and dignity.

I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to have to ask for food in a society that is filled with abundance. A place where people don’t think twice about purchasing a cell phone with all the bells and whistles and yet you and your family don’t have enough food to eat or socks, coats, and gloves, let alone holiday gifts.

How about we change the narrative and start a new plan of mindful giving and donating with dignity? If you’re already doing this, thank you with all my heart. There is no shame in not having enough nor should there be shame in needing a hand up. There is just as much energy around how and what we give as there is with anything else. Let’s level up to mindful living and giving!

What do I give?

Be mindful of who you are giving to. Who is possibly receiving it and what are they receiving? Is it a homeless Mom with a baby or small children? Is it someone who is used to eating healthy but has hit hard times? Is it a family who mostly eats soup just to stave off the hunger? When it comes to food items while a bag of potato chips is nice, keep it healthy. Here’s a list of 20 items that food banks truly need. (List reprinted from Taste of Home)

1. Applesauce
2. Canned Beans
3. Canned Chicken
4. Canned Fish (Tuna and Salmon)
5. Canned Meat (SPAM and Ham)
6. Canned Vegetables
7. Cooking Oils (Olive and Canola)
8. Crackers
9. Dried Herbs and Spices
10. Fruit (Canned or Dried)
11. Granola Bars
12. Instant Mashed Potatoes
13. Meals in a Box
14. Nuts
15. Pasta
16. Peanut Butter
17. Rice, Quinoa
18. Shelf-stable and Powdered Milk
19. Soup, Stew and Chili
20. Whole Grain Cereal

Also noted in the article are the following: When purchasing items for a food bank, avoid junk food, items with glass or cellophane packaging, which can be broken in transit, or things that need can openers or special equipment. Pop-top cans are a plus.

Mindful giving is donating with dignity

When you set your energy and intent to give with love and generosity of spirit, you are donating with dignity. Donating food? Buy a few items from the list above. Giving clothing or other items to resale shops or homeless shelters, check for holes and tears. If you don’t want to wear it or use it, ask yourself, is it something that can be worn or used or is it simply garbage?

There are plenty of places that repurpose clothing and other items and give to others in the process. Did you know that (as of the original writing of this blog) the retailer H&M offers % off coupons for every bag of clothing you bring in? If it can be used, they donate it. If it can’t, they repurpose it.

See those who don’t have as much as you as human beings and give from a space of offering a hand up and not the space of getting rid of. Notice the difference there? If you’ve ever read the Humans of New York you know the impact of hearing people’s stories. I encourage you to take a moment to really “see” those who are not in the same place as many of you.

Keep the human spirit at the forefront of your mind as you choose what and how you wish to give. If you have enough and you are able to donate food and or clothing, you are privileged enough to do so. Let’s open our hearts and stay mindful of those we are giving to. ~Shine Your Light Debbie

Forgiveness Divine

Forgiveness is a “giving” space…

Posted on by Debra Taitel
Forgiveness Divine

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”~Alexander Pope

I recently received an email from a client asking how we can energetically ask for forgiveness from others.

The example she cited was about overreacting and using harsh words with a colleague while under pressure. To add to her angst she lost touch with colleague years ago. She wanted to say she was sorry even though she apologized after the incident because she still felt bad about what happened. She was also concerned that even if she did find them they may not want to talk to her at all let alone about something that happened years ago.

We’ve all been there…

What a great question and example! We’ve all been in that position at one time or another, haven’t we? We hold on to “feeling bad” about something we did or said for hours, days or, in some instances, years. We want to talk about it and keep apologizing to that person or for the situation ad nauseam waiting for someone else to forgive us and we just can’t let it go even if they do.

The reason we hold on to that less than loving feeling is not that the other person hasn’t forgiven us (maybe they have or maybe they haven’t…that’s for another blog) but because at some level, we can’t or don’t want to forgive ourselves.

Here’s the thing, on an energy level there is no asking from others. It’s about forgiving ourselves. Once we forgive ourselves it’s even possible that we cross paths with the other person so we can apologize. Isn’t it wonderful when the universe works that magic? If it does happen you see them let’s be clear it is never about “asking” for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a “giving” space, not an “expecting” or needing a “response” space…

Others don’t have to forgive you. It’s not up to them. If you apologize wanting a particular response that is not forgiveness. That is an expectation which is a form of resistance. Also, why would someone else forgive you for that which you cannot forgive within yourself? Even if they do forgive you or they forgave you long ago that “feeling” will still linger because YOU still have to forgive YOU.

It doesn’t even matter if the other person accepts your apology. Forgiving is a giving space and when and if they choose to forgive they are giving and allowing a space for themselves as well.

I once had an ex who, after 18 years with no contact, called me to apologize “for everything” he ever “did” to me in our relationship. In fact, his first words were “please, don’t hang up.” While I appreciated the call to no end all I could do was laugh.

For the most part, I had forgiven him, and myself, long before that call. He held on to the guilt all those years. I will say it there was deep healing that happened on that call for both of us. I watched his energy and subsequently my energy completely shift as we released the remaining karma that at some level we both held on to.

Forgiveness is not a thing you “do”…

It’s a space you create FOR giving. You’re giving yourself space to make mistakes and to be less than perfect. A space to be where you are. A space to learn and heal. A space to recognize where you are and are not aware. A space to let go. and most importantly you’re giving yourself space to love again.

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

~Steve Maraboli

The truth is that any “non-forgiveness” is about you. It’s also where your energy is stuck in the past. How can you move forward with your energy stuck in the past? If you’re one of those people who cannot forgive yourself take a moment to really break it down to the bare bones. Why can’t you forgive yourself? Is there guilt or shame or some other emotion that causes you pain? What’s really going on?

It’s important to note that we do not go into a state of harsh words or react in a less than loving way without some sort of picture or energy that got lit up. Maybe you lost your awareness or someone pushed a button and triggered something deep within your psyche. Maybe you experienced fear or a threat. Maybe someone jumped in your space or tried to control you or the situation.

Maybe all of it happened at once but none of it matters. It’s important to recognize what really happened and forgive that too. Not one of us is perfect so let’s stop blaming ourselves and holding on things in the past that hold power over us in the present.

Make your apologies to others and yourself by creating a space of love and forgiveness. That’s the only way to release and clear the Karma.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2019 All Rights Reserved

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Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant, Energy Healer, Spiritual Teacher, Mentor and Guide providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. Her ultimate goal and soul’s purpose is to guide people to connect with their own truth, vision, purpose and spiritual gifts. For more information, please visit her website. To schedule a session: Click Here