To Heal Yourself and Others, Promise Yourself….

umbrellaToday’s post is a healing message. This morning while searching for a quote I came across a wonderful passage that truly captures self-healing as way of healing ourselves and others.

I was profoundly struck by the following words at the end; “To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. 

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds. To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”

In order to heal others, the best thing we can do is be true to ourselves and be the best we can be. It is a commitment or promise we must make with ourselves. Here is the full passage:

Promise Yourself

“To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
~Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

Yes! “Think well of yourself and proclaim this fact to the world not in loud words but great deeds.” Be true to yourself. Be in alignment with your goals. Love yourself in this way and heal others in the process!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

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Let us begin again in love…

forgiveIn honor of Yom Kippur and with love I share with you this lovely “Litany of Atonement” by Rob Eller-Issacs.

“For remaining silent when a single voice would have made a difference-
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.
For each time that our fears have made us rigid and inaccessible-
I forgive myself, I forgive you: We begin again in love.
For each time that we have struck out in anger without just cause-
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.

For each time that our greed has blinded us to the needs of others-
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.
For the selfishness which sets us apart and alone-
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.
For falling short of the admonitions of the spirit-
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.
For losing site of our unity-
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.
For those and so many acts both evident and subtle which have fueled the illusion of separateness-
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.”~Reverend Rob Eller-Issacs from “Litany of Atonement”

Amen~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com 
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Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

Letting go is not about accepting defeat

Letting Go Isn’t About Accepting Defeat….

Letting go is not about accepting defeatHave you ever tried to let go and found yourself stuck in an endless loop of blame or continually asking “why, why, why” then wondering why you’re having difficulty letting go?

If you’re looking to make sense of things or waiting for an apology it simply may not happen. The fact is, it may never make sense and you may never get the apology you deserve.

Why is it so hard to let some things (or people) go?

Letting go has absolutely nothing to do with accepting defeat. It has nothing to do with failing. It’s difficult to let go when you are in resistance and if you truly break it down, trying to make sense of something is a form of resistance. Waiting for an apology or the truth or waiting for anything else you are waiting for, keeps you stuck waiting.

Maybe it’s time to open your heart, mind and soul to the lesson learned. Maybe it’s time to release the resistance and live again. You do have a choice in how you allow people to treat you. Maybe it’s time you forgive and love yourself.

Maybe it’s time to connect with God’s love. A love that “will bring people into your life that will love you, respect you, fight for you, show gratitude for your love and want to be a part of your life mission.”

“You might not get the apology you deserve. You might not get answers to explain the actions of others. You might not get truth that makes sense to you. You might not get people to understand what you went through because of them. You might not get communication.

You might not get maturity. You might not get mercy or even common decency. You might not get respect or the chance to explain your side of the story. However, you do get to choose how people treat you. God loves you enough to bring people into your life who won’t hurt you, abuse you, betray you, lie and gossip about you, psycho analyze you, break your heart or make you an option or choice.

He will bring people into your life that will love you, respect you, fight for you, show gratitude for your love and want to be a part of your life mission. The best part of this is you don’t have to convince them of your worth. They want to be there. They know your value. They know your struggles. They are in touch with their own faults and understand you struggle just like everyone else.

They won’t hold you to a greater standard then they do themselves. They care about you and don’t want to see you cry, feel discouraged or give up on this life. When you know the power of who you are and what you have to accomplish you will scratch your head in disbelief that you allowed other people to dictate who you are based on little knowledge of what God knows about you and your life purpose. Letting go isn’t about accepting defeat or acknowledging you were wrong. Sometimes letting go is realizing that God has something better in store for you.” ~Shannon L. Alder

“Sometimes letting go is realizing that God has something better in store for you.” Open your heart, mind and soul to that something better!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2016 All Rights Reserved

Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

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Begin to love yourself

A Message from Charlie Chaplin: Begin to Love Yourself

Love Yourself“As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”

We are all exactly in the right place at the right time. We all receive the gifts of what we need to see and hear and experience on any given day. With that in mind, each day I take a few moments to ask the infinite, the Universe, God, to show me what it is that I need to see.

While scrolling around looking for a quote for a Facebook post I came across this insightful, and rather profound, piece from Charlie Chaplin. There are many truths found within his words and, to be honest, I must have read the first line over and over.

As we move through our lives we all learn, and continue to learn, many lessons. As we become more aware, we are drawn to seeking deeper meaning. What Chaplin has eloquently written reads like a “that was then, this is now” and serves as a reminder to love ourselves. It serves as a reminder that as we begin to love ourselves we become MORE of ourselves.

We begin to see and glean and act as ourselves because anything less is not loving who we are. Loving ourselves and seeing with this new perspective also allows us to connect with the wisdom of our hearts and forgive….

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!”~Charles Chaplin (Reprinted from Goodreads.com)

Life is beautiful and much to short to spend it in self-judgement, self-loathing or self-punishment. Begin to love yourself. Connect with the wisdom of your heart and watch as a new world is born.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel  2015 All Rights Reserved

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Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

SpiritLightInsight Clairvoyant Readings by Debra

Let us begin again in love…

forgiveIn honor of Yom Kippur and with love I share with you this lovely “Litany of Atonement” by Rob Eller-Issacs.

“For remaining silent when a single voice would have made a difference…
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.

For each time that our fears have made us rigid and inaccessible…
I forgive myself, I forgive you: We begin again in love.

For each time that we have struck out in anger without just cause…
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.

For each time that our greed has blinded us to the needs of others…
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.

For the selfishness which sets us apart and alone…
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.

For falling short of the admonitions of the spirit…
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.

For losing site of our unity…
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.

For those and so many acts both evident and subtle which have fueled the illusion of separateness…
I forgive myself, I forgive you; We begin again in love.”~Reverend Rob Eller-Issacs from “Litany of Atonement”

Amen~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Be Direct! Ask for What you Want and Need….

LabrynthDo you have a challenge when it comes to asking for what you want? Do you feel like you have to do everything alone? Do you “hint” at your wants and needs hoping someone “picks up on them?

More importantly do you refrain from bringing up what you want and need because you don’t want to “bother” or “burden” someone else?

“From what I’ve seen, it isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes us–it’s what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.”~Amanda Palmer

It takes a great deal of courage to be direct and ask for what we want and need. The Amanda Palmer quote really sums it up nicely. Many of us are challenged asking for help. We don’t want to be a “bother” but there is also another side of the equation to consider and, aside from needing to ask for help; Are we being clear and expressing to our loved ones and friends what we want and need from them day-to-day?

We move through our lives thinking people are going to figure us out. We hint, we hope and we think we are being clear but, and this is a BIG but, we may not be communicating as clearly as we think we are. Sometimes we circle round and round like a labyrinth until we finally arrive at our destination. Well my friends, the distance between two points does not have to include walking a maze with only one way in and one way out.

I admit I’m not always the best at voicing my wants and needs. What if I sound silly? What if someone doesn’t like what I’m saying? What if I’m perceived as not being a strong woman or the opposite, too pushy or bossy? No one wants to be perceived as “needy or weak, pushy or bossy” and sometimes it takes all I have to speak my truth and allow my vulnerable self to be seen.

We cannot be afraid of how we “think” others will perceive what we are saying. We should not ‘decide’ what someone else thinks, or what they will or won’t do, or how they will or won’t react to what we’re saying because the reality is we will, more than likely, be wrong.

To me asking for what I want and need, not in terms of needing help but sharing with others my vulnerabilities, is much like cracking open a closet filled to the brim. I’m afraid everything will come spilling out and I will be seen as incompetent, high maintenance or “less than” I am. The beauty of asking for what we want and need is that it is not only brave and vulnerable in that it tells someone about us it hopefully opens up a conversation so they can do the same with us.

Asking for what we want and need is not about demands, expectations or ultimatums. What I’m referring to is taking the guesswork out of the equation. While we can hope our loved ones and friends are aware and paying attention, people cannot read minds nor do most pick up on our so-called “cues” and hints. This is also not to say others can fully hear us and/or are open and available to give us what we want or need; But the fact is, at least we’ve verbally, to the best of our ability, communicated our wants and needs.

We can all use work on our communication and listening skills. We can all increase our awareness and pay more attention. If you are saying nothing then expecting something in your relationships you might want to have a look at the part YOU play in not having your wants and needs met.

If you happen to be blaming someone for not meeting your wants and needs ask yourself if you clearly and verbally communicated what they are.  It seems more commonplace to let people “guess” and “assume” what we want than to speak from our heart and share what’s in there. Maybe we’re just afraid we’ll be disappointed if we speak up. Maybe we have in some way devalued our wants and needs and made others the priority.

Whatever stops you from clearly communicating your wants and needs, release it. You are important and your wants and needs have value. Be direct. Be brave. Be vulnerable. Be fearless. Be strong. Express what you want and need. Speak from the heart with love.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Ready for Love? Take Down the Wall of Shame…

Tearing down walls to love“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”~Ann Landers

Love is what unites, walls are what separate. Why do we put up walls? What is it that causes us to feel fear or shame when it comes to our hearts?

Very simply, we put up walls because we are not perfect. We put up walls because other people might SEE we are not perfect. We put up walls because we don’t want people to see our pain.

Our hearts know no limits or boundaries. An open heart loves, is vulnerable and is not afraid to show imperfections. Not one of us is perfect and it takes courage to show our human-ness to others openly and honestly. We need not be ashamed of our bodies, our imperfections, our pain. We are human and our imperfections are as much a part of us as everything else.

At one time or another each of us has been hurt. Each of us has made a mistake. Each of us has experienced some level of fear around intimacy. We might think we’re being open but there are times we still hold back because we fear we will be judged or hurt in the process. We put up a “wall of shame” around our heart so others will not see us as “less” than. The problem is, the “shame” only exists in our minds and we’ve made it real! We’ve given it power. We’ve allowed it to build a wall that separates us from ourselves; Who we are and the love we are made of….

Shame is us judging ourselves and deciding we do not and will never meet the expectations of others. Shame says we are not good enough, our past was not good enough, we are not worth it and worst of all, our shame not only keeps others at arm’s length but it is the judgement of all judgments. We are judging ourselves so harshly we are deciding what (we think) is acceptable to others.

We may have been shamed as a child for doing or saying something wrong. We may have been shamed because something wasn’t good enough for our parents. We may have been judged harshly for not being perfect in an old relationship. We may judge ourselves for actions and mistakes we made in the past.

In many ways the “wall of shame” is a form of self sabotage. It stops us from fully experiencing and seeing the love we are. The love that unites us. It separates us and keeps us in a jail cell of self-judgment. It keeps us from fully loving ourselves and if we can’t fully love ourselves for who we are and make “allowances for human weakness” how can we possibly accept another openly and freely?

To truly love and be loved, we must take down the walls that separate us from the very thing we long for, the very thing we ARE. The walls we unconsciously, or sometimes consciously,  put up which seemingly separate us from others are really walls that separate us from OURSELVES! Be who you are. Love who you are. Take down the walls and let your love light shine!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2014 All rights reserved

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The Power of Love to Heal Your Heart: Artist Date 64 Not Too Much

Exploring Love and the 4th chakra  is not an easy or particularly comfortable task but it is well worth the journey! I recently taught a psychic meditation workshop on that very subject and was honored not just with email of thank you but a blog post sharing the profound experience one woman had. 

My friend Lesley had never before attended one of my workshops however she has had several readings from me. I have no words to describe how honored, humbled and touched I am that she shared her experience on her blog and has graciously allowed me to share it with you. Please enjoy this guest post by Lesley Pearl.

“Artist Date: 64 Not Too Much”

chakrasystem_282_

“I do not do yoga.

As a massage therapist, I know it is kind of part of the gig.  But I can’t.

It freaks me out.  Holding poses for an extended period makes me panic.  Whether I am in a big anonymous class or in a tiny studio with just three other students and the most gentle instructor imaginable, it is always the same.  Open heart.  Teary eyes.  And a small voice crying out in the silence, “Are we done yet?  Are we done yet?”  I ignore her and…panic.  More tears.

People tell me this is good.  That it means I should do more yoga.  That I am working something out.  I ignore them and make a mental note never to discuss this topic.

Until now.  In a yoga studio.  Artist Date 64.

My friend, and clairvoyant genius, Debbie Taitel, is conducting a post-Valentine’s exploration of the 4th Chakra, the energy center of the heart.

I think I am safe because it is a meditation workshop and not yoga.  And I meditate.  I have for 12 years.

But I am wrong.  The panic is there almost immediately.  Stifling.

Debbie first mentioned the workshop to me a couple of weeks ago, during one of our clairvoyant sessions.  As I watched my heart tentatively open to hope and the possibility of love for the first time in what seemed like a very long time – for an almost bachelor, a man from my childhood, living nearly 700 miles away.(Artist Date 62)

Last week I told him I “couldn’t do it.”  (Artist Date 63) Whatever “it” was.  Seemingly falling head over heels over head for one another.  He asked how realistic it was.  I didn’t care.  I wanted to find out about us.  He said he did too.  But when I sensed his wavering, come-here-go-away, and when the excitement in my stomach turned into a knot, I said “no.”  And we somewhat sadly settled on friendship.  At least for now.

I thought that with this grand gesture of self-love and adult decision-making, my feelings would go away.  I was mistaken.

He has been dancing in my head for a good portion of the day and I am surprised.

So it is a relief when Debbie asks us to invite anyone “grounding” through us to please leave for the duration of the workshop.  I ask, but he remains.  Or I keep him near.  I am not certain.  It is the pink elephant in the room I have been told to pay no attention to.

I am embarrassed.  Ashamed.  I assume the shift is easy for him.  But I do not know this.

I am consumed by the thought that I do not want to write about this.  Especially as he regularly reads my blog.  I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.  I want to run.  Just like in yoga.

Debbie asks us to ground ourselves and I see a climber’s rope shoot out from my 1st Chakra into the earth, its metal claws digging into clay and dirt.  Debbie saw me do this once before – during one of our sessions.  She found it clever.  A good way to shake off the too many grounding through me.

But today it feels unstable.  I want an oak tree growing out of my ass, downward into the earth.   But this is what I have.

(c) 2004. Andrew Hall, PortlandBridges.com

She asks us to create roses in our mind.  To fill them with past hurts.  Unrequited loves.  Loves we either did not or could not return.  And to destroy them.

I see the International Rose Test Garden in Portland.  My ex and I visited here one winter when he was interviewing for jobs.  The bushes are clipped.  Dead.

My eyes get teary and my nose flares.  I feel like I am on the verge of big, heaving sobs.  I see my ex husband.  My mother.  My father.  The first boy I took my clothes off with.

I see my first real boyfriend.  And J – perhaps the love of my life, me with a dick.  Mr. 700 Miles.

I feel Debbie lay a box of tissues on my thigh.  I am afraid to move.  That I will come totally unglued if I do and land on the floor, a throbbing puddle.  I feel white energy leave through my heart and it is over.

I destroy the rose, stripping it naked, petal by petal, while those around me engage in more violent scenarios – skeet shooting or blowing them up.

In the final meditation, safely shrouded in golden light, I loop my own energy over and over through my 4th Chakra, my heart.  I feel nauseated.  A wave slams into my gut and through me.  If I were standing it would knock me over.

Debbie smiles.  This is the energy I put into the universe, she explains.  The kind that makes people “run for the hills.”  I nod, as do most of those around me.  It is the love energy, meant for me, mistakenly turned out and overwhelming others.

I think about the old idea I still carry around sometimes, that I am “too much.”   It is quickly displaced by the realization that I no longer feel like running.  Not from here.  This place or this pose.

Not from this love.  Not from myself.

Not too much.”

No Lesley you are not “too much”. You thanked me for “holding space for your heart” and my reply can only be… it was an honor!~Shine Your Light Debbie

Lesley Pearl is a writer, bodyworker, and weight-loss coach living in Chicago. Her blog “The Wandering Jewess”, chronicles ‘life after marriage’ in a series of weekly solo dates. She is currently working on her first book titled “Left. Write.

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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An epiphany about healing others

An Epiphany About Feeling Bad for Others

EpiphanyThis morning I woke up not feeling like myself. I felt isolated, invalidated, alone, depressed and dizzy. All I wanted to do was go back to bed and the dreary weather here isn’t helping. I sat down to meditate and reflect on what was happening. After all it’s not “like me”.

As I quieted the incessant ‘buzz’ in my head I slowly returned to center so I could see clearly again. Then, like a lightening bolt, it hit me. The feelings of isolation, invalidation, depression, were energy and pictures I gave up space to. This happens to everyone at one time or another and we don’t always realize it while we’re not feeling good.

Everyone is affected when their pictures get stimulated and when you work with energy as I do the ‘triggers’ are magnified because often I’m working with clients to clear those very pictures. Pictures are memories or energy from the past and they may be triggered by friends, family or even a seemingly innocuous Facebook post. What happened to me is I allowed myself to get stuck in pictures of feeling alone, isolated and wrong. I started asking the question ‘what’s wrong with me’ over and over again.The more I resisted the more entrenched I became trying to ‘fix’ what was wrong even if I didn’t know what it was.

It’s just energy and you lost your space!

When I realized it was energy I needed to clear that became senior to my reality I was finally able to ground myself and see (and reconnect with) the truth. I’m not isolated and I’m not alone. There’s nothing wrong with me. (I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me.) I was feeling bad for others and in the back of my mind it seemed familiar rather like a deja vu. When did I experience this feeling before? Another lightening bolt! I felt this way growing up!

Have you ever said you “feel bad” for others? Better question…how many times a day do you say it?

Here’s the thing, when you “feel bad” for others to the point of actually “feeling bad” you have allowed their pain to become your own. What they are going through becomes “senior” or more important than your own reality. This happens because at some level it is what YOU are working on. It is the energy and pictures from the past you are stuck in and if you don’t take back your energy and seniority from your own pictures you begin to match and possibly take on energy from others until you do.

Take back your power!

Once I started to find my own pictures and take back my power I began to look at how much energy from others I had taken on as I was healing them. Trust me…it was A LOT! All those people I “feel bad” for. Not as in they are victims but that they are going through something painful which I recognize because I have gone through something similar. 

To shift my energy I had to let go of “feeling bad”. After all what good is it if I match their energy and continue to feel bad? That comes under the guise “misery loves company”. No matter how long I’ve done healing work I continue to have to remind myself I am senior in my space and I slowly began to release the energy of others I had taken on by agreement. I also had to let go of all those painful memories when I felt bad and was feeling sorry for myself. I had to take back my seniority, my personal power, and return to the present and my vibration.

In the blink of an eye you can shift your energy!

If you’re “feeling bad” all the time check to see if someone around you is feeling bad and you’ve matched their energy. Notice if you’ve given your seniority to a picture or illusion of “feeling bad” from your past so much so that it’s become true for you now. Get real with yourself and acknowledge if you’ve healed others at the price of healing yourself. Find your epiphany about feeling bad for others and ask yourself if you really want to “feel bad” because someone else “feels bad”.

We “feel bad” when others are hurting but it’s important to realize we can hold their hand and comfort them but we don’t have to “feel bad” for them. Look at your own journey and heal yourself first. It shows others how to do it! If you really want to help others, shift your energy and raise your vibration. Take them by the energetic hand and raise them up! ~Shine Your Light Debbie 

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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Speak kindly to yourself

Words Matter!

Speak kindly to yourself“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”~Buddha

Do you choose words with care when speaking to others? If so, do you choose the same when speaking to yourself? Have you ever noticed how the words we use towards ourselves influence our path and direction? Are we punishing and hurting ourselves?

There are indeed times when it is not what’s going on in the world or how others speak to us that hurts but how we speak to ourselves. Those words in our heads that invalidate and keep us in effort or on a quest for perfection. The words and thoughts that come up about how we feel about ourselves.

“What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.”~Mark Twain

Our inner dialogues are those things we tell ourselves which shape our entire relationship with the world. When a child is bullied or called stupid or we see someone berated in public we rally in disgust and outrage yet are we using those very same punishing and hurtful words against ourselves? When was the last time you looked in the mirror without criticizing something? When was the last time you told yourself “great job” and held your head high and proud? When was the last time you said “I love you” to yourself?

The words we speak not only matter when speaking to others. Words matter when we speak to ourselves. It really doesn’t, matter if we speak those words out loud. It is the dialogue in our heads, our thoughts, that affect our actions and how we perceive or are perceived by the world. When we use punishing words against ourselves we are not in a space of compassion, love and forgiveness.

“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.”~Swami Vivekananda 

Just as we listen to others, it’s time to listen to what we are saying to ourselves. Remember the old adage ‘engage brain before putting mouth in gear’? How about ‘think before you speak’? We carefully choose the words we say to others. It’s time we carefully choose the words we use toward ourselves.

As human beings we will make mistakes and occasionally say or do unkind things even though it was not intended. It is precisely those times we must learn to forgive and love ourselves again. Have a little compassion for your own human condition. We are all human. We all make mistakes and more importantly we are all learning.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”~Buddha

I don’t suppose any of us can effectively stop those negative thoughts against ourselves but we can certainly pay attention and nip them in the proverbial bud before we become them. Never underestimate how thoughts and words affect and influence your life. Speak to yourself kindly with compassion, forgiveness and love.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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