Are You Attached to Your Story?

Tell your story“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”~Philip Pullman

Who doesn’t love a good story? We all have stories. Good stories, bad stories, sad stories, joyful stories and unfinished stories that are still unfolding.

We all have stories BUT are you so attached to your story that you cling to it with reckless abandon? Do you cling so tightly and identify so strongly with your story that you cease to move past it to recognize who you are outside of that story? When we are attached to our story, we have decided that’s who we are but here’s the thing, if that’s what we decide then that’s where we’ll stay.

Attachment can be based on many things but many times you’ll find an underlying pain picture. How many times have we internally told ourselves this story? How many times have we told the story to others and how many times do we embellish and change the story?

I recently took a story telling class to open up a new, vulnerable space and find more of my voice.  There are many levels to story telling and I’m not going to go into all of them but I do want to talk about what happens when we are attached to our stories.

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”~Gilda Radner

As I develop a story for the stage it fascinates me how I sometimes find myself attached to a word or a part of the story that feels important but really isn’t. What I get stuck on generally is a random detail that 1. I’ve placed more importance on the detail than the full story 2. generally makes the story longer than it needs to be 3. is something I’m afraid to say or think I shouldn’t say.

There’s also the part where, for whatever reason, I associate the images in my head with telling the truth in great detail in efforts to be understood. Regardless of the reason, the moment I become attached to a word or random detail I’m no longer telling the full story. I notice my energy is stuck in the tiniest of details trying to “fix” or “figure out” what to say and how to continue the story.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who drones on and on and you’re not quite sure where they are going with the story? For sure I’m guilty of telling a story in such detail it drones on and on! I think we’ve all done this at one time or another and there’s actually a good reason. We, they, us ALL want to be understood!

What I have discovered in this early stage of story crafting (I have so much to learn!) is that I’m experiencing all those places where my energy is stuck in the past! Digging deep to tell our story on stage or even to a friend means we run the risk of being invalidated or judged.

If we are, as U2 eloquently puts it, stuck in a moment and can’t get out of it, a part of our energy is in the past securely attached to that story. If we are attached to a story we run the risk of identifying with and becoming that story instead of being who we are. We are stuck in the past.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR STORY. 

Your story is important because it is yours. It’s something you went through. It was an experience, a memory and a part of your past but it is NOT who you are. If you are attached to “I grew up on the other side of the tracks” or “my parents never listened to me” or “He (or she) hurt me” you are attached and you will never be able to move forward until you pull your energy out of those pictures.

There is so much more to you than meets the eye. Embrace your story for what it is. A story. A great (or not so great) memory. It only has power over you if you give it power and it is not who you are.

The fact is that most of us love to tell and hear stories so tell your stories! There is brilliance and magic just waiting to burst forth. Just keep in mind, you are not your story. Always remember that if and when you find yourself attached to a story, it’s time to call your energy back from that story and leave it in the past.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2016 All Rights Reserved

Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

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It’s All About Believing in Magic!

Inner Magic“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There is power and magic in believing but this can also be a double-edged sword. Believing can also keep us stuck or in lower vibrations depending on what it is we believe.

As we move towards healing ourselves, one of the things we want to really get clear on is which of our beliefs are not really ours. How much of what we believe to be true about ourselves is energy, pictures or programming that came from others?  If we believe what we’ve been told is true, it is possible we are taking on someone else’s energy as our truth.

Where your beliefs came from doesn’t matter as much as the discovery of what is yours and what is not. Maybe someone once said you weren’t good enough. Maybe someone once said you were too fat, or too thin or called you ugly. Maybe you were so invalidated by someone, it affected your self-esteem. What you were told might be so deeply engrained that you’re no longer sure what is yours and what is not.

As you work towards finding your own truth, you unwind these beliefs or lies. It is then you begin to see yourself differently and, often, more clearly. Self-esteem and self-worth shift in a big way. When you truly believe in yourself magic not only can happen, it WILL happen!

If you have enough people sitting around telling you you’re wonderful, then you start believing you’re fabulous, then someone tells you you stink and you believe that too!”~Angelina Jolie

What we believe about ourselves is exactly how we will be. It’s also how others perceive us. This is why it’s so important to deconstruct our beliefs and make separation with that which is not ours. For instance, if deep down we believe we aren’t good enough, no matter what we do, we won’t connect with it as being good enough. The sad part is, until we release the belief we decided was true, no matter what others tell us or how much validation we receive, it will never be good enough because we believed someone else instead of listening to, feeling or connecting with our own truth.

There’s also an interesting dynamic where someone will tell you exactly how they feel about themselves. Listen to them! If someone tells you they are a “monster” or they are inadequate, or they don’t feel anything they do is good enough, no matter how bright their spirit, believe that what they are telling you is what they believe about themselves even if you see them differently. In essence, they are voicing the negative beliefs they hold about themselves and “feeding” the belief. The belief grows and is strengthened until eventually they BECOME what and who they tell people they are.

Seeing, feeling, thinking, believing – these are the stages of how we change our style on the outside and our self-image on the inside.
Stacy London

Personally I like to “believe” we all want to heal and work on ourselves at some level but if someone continually tells me what a monster they are, or they are not good enough, I’m going to have to believe them until they decide to change that belief or, of course, they ask for help changing it. How we feel and speak about ourselves is critical to our healing.

To be clear, I’m not talking about inflating egos, judging or conceit here. That’s for a different blog. This is food for thought so you can tune in more with yourself. Here are a few questions you can ask….

How do you speak about yourself to others? What do you believe about yourself that no matter how much someone tries to convince you otherwise you still feel bad or wrong deep down inside? Do you often not feel good enough or worthy enough?

The answers to those questions might very well lead you to a healing if you choose to release what is not yours and begin to connect with the magic that is! How will you know if it’s yours? Well, it feels…magical, joyful and more than that, it feels like YOU!

Great and magical things can happen when we live from a place of truth. Let go of being the person others told you you were and embrace the person you KNOW you are! “Magic is believing in yourself.” Bring in the sparkle and allow yourself to shine from the inside out!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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