All healing is self-healing and no matter how much you want a friend, lover or family member to heal there are just some healing journeys that you are not meant to take with or for someone else.
While it is in your control to hold space, send healing light, understand, empathize, listen and be a good friend it is not necessary, nor should you, actually do it for them.
If you’re one of those healers or empaths that takes on someone else’s pain you may find yourself in pain and getting angry because you’re not validated for what you have done.*
*As an aside, it is not recommended you heal others in this way but it does happen. You never have to take on someone else’s pain.
What’s right for you or me is not necessarily right for someone else. Healing someone who doesn’t want to do it themselves or the same way as you do will not only lead to frustration but it’s possible that your attention and energy will be in their space.
As a being, that person might be working to empower themselves. If you try to take away their pain you are, in essence, invalidating their ability to heal themselves and it’s very likely they will become uncomfortable or angry. If they do become uncomfortable or angry it is a guarantee they will resist even the best of intentions.
In this situation, it is better to find your neutrality and heal yourself first. Seek to understand what it is within YOU that:
1. is a ‘match’ to the other person (there is always an energy within you that, at some level, matches the person you’re trying to heal)
2. wants to control someone else’s healing process. The difficulties and challenges that one person faces are very different from those of another and who is to say what internal process another person is going through.
Everyone heals in their own time…
To you it may not look like someone is healing if they are taking longer to do it than you would. Each of us makes our way as it is meant to be and the process takes as long as it takes. There is no time frame. It may take a day for one person, a week for another or a lifetime for someone else.
The most loving thing you can do is take a step back to honor and respect where someone is on their healing journey. Allow them the space to go through whatever it is they need to. There may be a very good reason they are taking their time.
It’s also important to recognize that the answer YOU found to heal a similar pain is not necessarily someone else’s answer. If you have judgement about how to do it or how long it should take, it invalidates the person AND the healing that is already in process. Take a step back to really see how much progress has been made.
Each of us must take responsibility for our own energy and healing process. Each of us has the ability to find our own answers. Heal yourself and honor the journey of others without judgement. Support and love those who are in process.
Be there to offer a kind word, a warm hug, or an ear to listen. Show or teach them how to heal with grace. The BEST way to help someone heal is to lead by example; Heal yourself. It shows others it is possible to heal and gives them permission to do the same.~Shine Your Light Debbie
©Debra Taitel 2017 All Rights Reserved
Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.