LettingGo – Page 3

“Self sabotage, the act of undermining your own wellness, happiness, and success, whether conscious or not, is you taking on the role of punisher, abuser, or bully…against yourself.”~Stephanie Quilao

Have you ever said something and regretted it merely seconds after it came out of your mouth? Have you found yourself really close to successfully attaining a long awaited goal then doing something to negate everything you’ve done to get there? Are you angry about decisions made in the past but not changing those decisions to reflect who you are now? Are amazing things happening in your life but your focus is on all that’s NOT happening? If so, you may be a victim of self sabotage!

I recently experienced all the above on my birthday….

The day before (and on) my birthday I started receiving birthday wishes and love from friends and clients all over the world. I was delighted beyond words to read every single private message, post, text, and email in addition to the phone calls. My heart was filled with happiness and as one friend put it I was having a “global birthday party”! I was surrounded by a beautifully woven blanket of love and felt the energy in every fiber of my being when suddenly my thoughts turned to those who I WANTED to get messages from but didn’t. I started to get angry that I was always there for them yet they couldn’t take the time to say happy birthday.

For a moment the hundreds of loving messages were negated by simply NOT hearing from two people. I quickly realized that the actions, or in this case inactions, of others controlled what I was having! I quickly let go of those thoughts and got my space back but questions still remained; How many times did I push away love or friendship because of some crazy thought that if it wasn’t from this one or that one that I wasn’t loved? How many times have I lowered my having-ness to match those who couldn’t have ME. (Self sabotage!) It was only a moment but I thank God for awareness and finally being able to see it!

Once I saw this I was able to return to my ‘happy space’ and went off to my party. I decided that those who showed up were the ones who were supposed to be there and I couldn’t wait to celebrate! The surprises kept coming! A dear friend who I wasn’t expecting showed up and I received a text from a lovely man who, when he found out it was my birthday, dropped everything to drive (over an hour) into the city and come to my party. I was seriously bursting with joy! Then it happened again… In all my joy, overwhelmed with love, I started joking around and said something that was rude, insensitive and judgemental.

Although it was not my intention to invalidate something that means a lot to someone I lost my space and did just that. I immediately tried to ‘fix’ what I had said but the more I tried the deeper the hole became. I am blessed to have forgiving, loving people in my life including the person whom I inadvertently, unintentionally and uncharacteristically spoke less than nice words to. In retrospect I couldn’t “have” what was being openly offered and allowed an energy to come through me. How many times had I done this before? Why would I say or be that way? In my human-ness I allowed fear and judgement to seep into my words for no reason at all other than I had lost my space and could not HAVE all the love that surrounded me.

Self sabotage comes in many forms. I see it happening with friends, members in my Weight Watchers® meetings, my clients and myself. What leads to any sort of self sabotage is a lack of having-ness (the ability to embrace and have something) and/or not being able to clear an energy or picture you are holding on to from the past. When you lose your space to an energy or picture all kinds of things come through including judgement, pushing people away or sabotaging your success because you can’t have it. How many times have you said or done something and afterwards wondered why? Instead of asking ‘why’ go within to find the underlying cause. It’s a good bet you’ll find the answer and it may not be what you think!

Although I spent the week beating myself up for being less than compassionate in a mere few sentences I realized that what happened was a blessing in disguise. It showed me I still have a lot to work on this lifetime. It showed me that I’m not only human but I’m perfectly perfect in my IMperfection. It also illuminated those places where I was stuck in a judgement picture and lacking having-ness.

Everything we do or say has an impact on our growth. Be aware of the areas you are sabotaging yourself whether it be a job change, your relationships or your dreams. If you are no longer in alignment with the choices you’ve made in the past which affect you today, it’s perfectly OK to change course, heal and open your eyes to those places where you have gotten in your own way. Stop the madness of self sabotage! Awaken, let go, embrace and raise your having-ness for a beautiful life! If you can have it, the sky’s the limit!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com
Daily Muse Home Page

Self-Sabotaging (ladymaturity.wordpress.com)
Are You Sabotaging Yourself? (Understanding Self-Sabotaging Behavior and Breaking It) (personalexcellence.co)
Self Sabotage: When you play the role of punisher (Backinskinny jeans.com)

“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.”~Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

Fear is a powerful energy which, if allowed to grow, can hold you hostage. It is gripping and debilitating and at times it feels like you are being held in a state a suspended animation until it finally lets loose its grip. When your mind is occupied by fear it not only takes over your thoughts but sends out a vibration of fear which can actually cause what it is you fear to manifest.

Everyone has fears but as the opening quote says; “To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.”

Living in Chicago I have a first hand seat in watching how the energy of fear can take over as we approach the upcoming NATO Summit. I admit that perhaps I have a jaded view of a worldwide event being an exciting time however with the city going on virtual lockdown due to possible terrorist and/or unruly protest activity one can feel the fear in the air. The fear mongering media is not helping nor are those (whom I consider) irresponsible ‘spokespeople’ for the various protest groups descending on the city. One friend called it ‘fear porn’. It is spreading like wildfire and just as a wildfire needs fuel to grow, every person who allows fear to take over feeds the fire and gives it strength. This is not to say don’t be cautious, alert and do what you need to do for your safety when fear comes up but don’t allow your fear to fuel the fire. As you know, a fire which is not fed soon burns out.

Fear is an energy…

The energy of fear can help or hinder you. In terms of the physical body fear is useful and triggers a fight or flight response in times of imminent danger but how many of the fears you now face are based on real danger? How much of that fear is based on fact and what is it that you really fear? Most often fear comes from what you ‘think’ might happen in the future or something that happened in the past. In terms of what might happen in the future, how many scenes have played out in your mind with a negative outcome therefore fueling your fear? If you are afraid to fly, for example; Are you really afraid to fly or are you afraid you might die or are you afraid because someone else is in control of flying the plane? If your imagination runs rampant and you fuel horrible images the fear is going to grow and it will indeed hold you hostage.

If it comes from a past experience it could be an important lesson like don’t take the hot cookie sheet out of the oven without using a pot-holder but it could also be that you got hurt in a relationship and the fear of getting hurt stops you from loving again. One is based on reality and one is based on energy you hold from the past. Now, if your intuition kicks in listen to it! The fears I’m referring to are those you hold on to resulting in a pattern of negative thoughts which are fueled and grow until they take over; The fears which “grab you by the tail and swing you around.”

It’s important to face your fears head on and decide if the fear is even yours. If you are matching someone else’s picture of fear or take on fears of others you are being held hostage. Don’t feed it, fuel it or obsess about it. Release yourself from the prison of fear by refusing to fuel the fire and letting it go. Find the truth of your fears. Are they fact or fiction? Fuel the fires of passion, love and creativity! Feed the flames that lead to your dreams coming true! Build a bonfire of joy and fuel it until it quickly becomes a wildfire touching every part of your life!~Shine Your Light Debbie

SpiritLightInsight.com
Daily Muse Home Page