Forgive Them…It’s Not Who They Are

violet

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.“~Marianne Williamson

As spirits in human form we came here to learn and experience something different.

Although spirit is bright, pure love there are some lessons that come from our all to very human choices and with those choices we occasionally get hurt.

I know it seems counter intuitive to most healers and those focused on healing themselves but there are some who take longer than others to awaken and heal themselves.

Sadly there are some so full of pain they cannot see who they are and they, consciously or unconsciously, inflict pain or cause conflict and drama. One of the reasons it’s so difficult to forgive those who have hurt us is there is something inside of us we need to heal or forgive ourselves for.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.~Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is power and freedom in forgiveness. There is healing and peace in forgiveness but the healing must begin with forgiving ourselves first. Those who have hurt us do so because there was a level of trust and expectation on our part.  We cannot control others. We cannot make them treat us fairly; Be honest with us or love us.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you allow people to continue to hurt you. You forgive them for what they did because they were not aware of themselves enough to recognize that what they did was because of deep-set fear or pain within themselves. You forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you because you allowed yourself to be vulnerable, open and perhaps unaware they were not ready to “have” you as you are.

Most of us are not Gandhi, Amma, Rumi or Buddha and we are not exempt from having hurt someone in our world at some point. It is part of being human. All we can do is our best. All we can do is be the best and most loving creatures we can. It is why forgiveness is a part of love.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.~Mark Twain

Take the path of forgiveness that comes directly from your heart and forgive those who have wronged you. Forgive those who have hurt you. Forgive yourself for making a mistake or judging.

You have it in you the ability emit a fragrance of love so powerful it causes peace and healing for you, for others and the world.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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It’s All About Believing in Magic!

Inner Magic“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There is power and magic in believing but this can also be a double-edged sword. Believing can also keep us stuck or in lower vibrations depending on what it is we believe.

As we move towards healing ourselves, one of the things we want to really get clear on is which of our beliefs are not really ours. How much of what we believe to be true about ourselves is energy, pictures or programming that came from others?  If we believe what we’ve been told is true, it is possible we are taking on someone else’s energy as our truth.

Where your beliefs came from doesn’t matter as much as the discovery of what is yours and what is not. Maybe someone once said you weren’t good enough. Maybe someone once said you were too fat, or too thin or called you ugly. Maybe you were so invalidated by someone, it affected your self-esteem. What you were told might be so deeply engrained that you’re no longer sure what is yours and what is not.

As you work towards finding your own truth, you unwind these beliefs or lies. It is then you begin to see yourself differently and, often, more clearly. Self-esteem and self-worth shift in a big way. When you truly believe in yourself magic not only can happen, it WILL happen!

If you have enough people sitting around telling you you’re wonderful, then you start believing you’re fabulous, then someone tells you you stink and you believe that too!”~Angelina Jolie

What we believe about ourselves is exactly how we will be. It’s also how others perceive us. This is why it’s so important to deconstruct our beliefs and make separation with that which is not ours. For instance, if deep down we believe we aren’t good enough, no matter what we do, we won’t connect with it as being good enough. The sad part is, until we release the belief we decided was true, no matter what others tell us or how much validation we receive, it will never be good enough because we believed someone else instead of listening to, feeling or connecting with our own truth.

There’s also an interesting dynamic where someone will tell you exactly how they feel about themselves. Listen to them! If someone tells you they are a “monster” or they are inadequate, or they don’t feel anything they do is good enough, no matter how bright their spirit, believe that what they are telling you is what they believe about themselves even if you see them differently. In essence, they are voicing the negative beliefs they hold about themselves and “feeding” the belief. The belief grows and is strengthened until eventually they BECOME what and who they tell people they are.

Seeing, feeling, thinking, believing – these are the stages of how we change our style on the outside and our self-image on the inside.
Stacy London

Personally I like to “believe” we all want to heal and work on ourselves at some level but if someone continually tells me what a monster they are, or they are not good enough, I’m going to have to believe them until they decide to change that belief or, of course, they ask for help changing it. How we feel and speak about ourselves is critical to our healing.

To be clear, I’m not talking about inflating egos, judging or conceit here. That’s for a different blog. This is food for thought so you can tune in more with yourself. Here are a few questions you can ask….

How do you speak about yourself to others? What do you believe about yourself that no matter how much someone tries to convince you otherwise you still feel bad or wrong deep down inside? Do you often not feel good enough or worthy enough?

The answers to those questions might very well lead you to a healing if you choose to release what is not yours and begin to connect with the magic that is! How will you know if it’s yours? Well, it feels…magical, joyful and more than that, it feels like YOU!

Great and magical things can happen when we live from a place of truth. Let go of being the person others told you you were and embrace the person you KNOW you are! “Magic is believing in yourself.” Bring in the sparkle and allow yourself to shine from the inside out!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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How to Find Time to Meditate AND Actually Meditate!

MeditateIf you have difficulty sitting down to meditate, you are not alone!

First there’s the time factor. Technology has made it easier than ever to schedule every moment of our day because we’re always connected.

Not too long ago if we were expecting a phone call, we sat at home or at the office waiting for it. Now we can take that call where ever we are.

With an ever-growing list of responsibilities at the forefront of our lives we schedule ourselves silly and unless we schedule in our meditation time or “me time” there won’t be any. We must MAKE the time just to sit down and focus on our breath. Is it just me or is something wrong with that picture? Now before you go thinking I’m some scheduling Guru, I can assure you I don’t always ‘schedule’ time for myself. 

The problem is, the less time I find to meditate, the less time it seems I HAVE to meditate; Or do anything else for that matter. In fact, on the days I make time to meditate I’m not only more effective and less overwhelmed completing my tasks, but I actually have MORE time (left over) in my day. I’m not really sure what this phenomenon is, but I can tell you from personal experience it’s true!

So you’ve scheduled in the time to meditate and now comes an even bigger challenge…actually meditating! I hear all the time from my clients, friends and energy worker colleagues how challenging it is to quiet the mind once you do sit down. I not only hear it from them but for as long as I’ve meditated there are times it’s challenging for me too.

Yes, I know what happens. You settle in, start to calm things down and then suddenly remember some task you forgot to complete or phone call that must be made or something that just has to be done right at that moment. Maybe you need to check Facebook or Twitter one last time…. Or you left the laundry in the washer….or you need to feed the cat or dog. Sound familiar?

We’ve become so used to “doing”, “responding” and not wanting to miss anything, it’s challenging even under the best of circumstances to quiet all of it down. What I’d like you to notice in all of that is the biggest challenge we have is bringing our attention back to ourselves. Tuning in to our breath. Focusing on OUR OWN needs.

One of the reasons (there are several but for the sake of keeping this less than a full novel I’ll only address one or two) it’s so challenging is because all our attention and energy is caught up in those things outside of us. It’s not that WE stop ourselves from inner peace and calm, it’s the energies we answer to that don’t want us to turn our attention inward.

Makes sense right? If we take a moment to get organized around our own energy, thoughts, wants and needs, who will take care of everyone else’s energy, thoughts, wants and needs? Once we start healing ourselves, others cannot control us, or get us to heal them, or give up our space to them so easily. Also, when you meditate consistently, your life begins to change rapidly.

You’ve heard the sayings “misery loves company” or “we love you don’t ever change”? Well, you can choose to be in that company or you can choose to move on. You can choose to stay the same and not change; Repeating the same patterns your whole life or you can acknowledge that when you sit down to meditate there may be other energies trying to stop you.

It’s important to recognize that in taking the path of healing and light, there are some that may not choose to go with you. They may not want to change and it may make them uncomfortable that you do. This doesn’t make them bad or unaware. It just might be they are on a different journey and not ready to step up in the same way, at the same time, you are. Acknowledge and validate where others are in their life. It’s ok for you to be where you are and it’s ok for them to be where they are.

Honor and respect others choices. The journey within is not about judging others or getting them to do it with you. It’s just the opposite. It’s caring for yourself and your needs. It’s about bringing your energy and attention back to you so you can be more of who you are and in doing so, by being around you, others have permission to (choose to) heal and be themselves.

If you find it difficult or downright impossible to sit down and meditate on any given day, try it for 5 or 10 minutes, then come back and do another 5 or 10 minutes later. In other words, give yourself a break. You might just be dealing with SO MUCH ENERGY that’s not yours it takes a while to clear.

So, schedule a meditation date with yourself and honor your “me time”. Although there are times when you need to break up the meditation (time), try to hang in there with a simple “breathe and release”. Break up the energy instead of the length of your mediation. How great is it to take charge of your life and create change on YOUR schedule?~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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A Glimpse: The Divine Gift of Awakening to Your Answers

As we move through our lives living, loving and learning we have “glimpses” of awareness; Glimpses of a bigger picture with infinite possibilities.

The committed spiritual seeker works towards expanding this awareness but everyone, whether awareness is worked on or not, will have momentary glimpses as we are guided by our higher selves towards the answers we seek.

Follow the “glimpse” to find the answer and reveal the bigger picture 

None of us can possibly have ALL the answers and while it would be wonderful to be omniscient and omnipotent, the reality is we don’t even know what we don’t know. We don’t have a clue what we don’t know. Sometimes our questions are merely asking for small part of what we want to know. A small part of a bigger and broader picture.

Think of it this way, if you have explored in great detail only a 4 block radius around your home, you will ask questions based on your experience and understanding of that 4 block radius.  What if your answer lies just outside that 4 block radius and you are given  a momentary glimpse of the path that goes there? Will you follow the path or stay safe within your walls, continually asking the same questions over and over, never following your gift of awareness?

Divine gifts of awareness are “snapshots” of the answer but, more often than not, they do not represent the full answer. When we catch a glimpse, the challenge is to not get stuck thinking we understand more than we do or that we are seeing the full picture. When we open up to asking the right questions based on our glimpse of awareness we are expanding our minds, opening up to greater possibilities and finding our answers as part of the bigger picture.

Our glimpses prompt us to look deeper, point us in the right direction and help us ask the right questions. Our glimpses of awareness are snapshots of love and understanding. The more we see, the more we understand. The more we understand, the more we are able to heal and forgive ourselves and others.

Follow your glimpses of awareness so they lead you to ask the right questions. Follow your glimpses of awareness so they lead you to a place of being open and able to receive more glimpses of awareness. Follow your glimpses to see the bigger picture and find answers to your questions…one glimpse at a time.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Stop Blaming. Start Forgiving and Healing

Stop Blaming Start Forgiving and Healing“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.~J. Michael Straczynski

Are you blaming someone or something for your current experience? Of course it’s THEIR fault! It’s the economy, family, your boyfriend or girlfriend, how you were brought up.. .who did it TO you. These are just a few of the “outer” situations or people we tend to “blame” when things become challenging in our lives. The problem is blame will never get you anywhere. Blame means a part of your valuable energy is stuck and holding on to the past. Blame means not taking responsibility for any part of the situation. It also takes forgiveness and healing out of the picture.

Blame is a way of rationalizing and making sense of chaos. It is far easier to blame others than to look inside and take responsibility for our part. The moment we stop blaming and start forgiving is the moment we start healing and moving on with our lives.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”~Robert Anthony

In order to heal, create change, and move on with our lives we must take responsibility for our part. Now, I hear you saying you had no part in the creation of the problem (challenge or situation).  I may not be very popular the moment I say you ALWAYS play a part in it but it IS the truth. Maybe you were (are) afraid. Maybe you were (are) not fully aware of your impact on the situation. Maybe you saw, heard or felt something through your filters.

Blaming others is not the answer. Blaming yourself is not the answer. These are never the answers because blame holds on to the past. The longer you “blame” the more the past gets embellished and the more energy you have caught up in a past that is no longer truth but an illusion.

Your true power lies in the ability to forgive others for their part and forgive yourself for your part. It may mean you have to forgive yourself for zigging when you should have zagged. It may mean you must forgive yourself for something you did or said in the past. It may mean you have to forgive someone who deeply hurt you. It may mean you must forgive yourself for being afraid or in resistance.

Regardless of what you find yourself forgiving, you’ll know immediately when you are free because it will feel like a weigh is lifted off your shoulders. You are able to look at the situation or other person without anger, fear or blame and you begin creating things and moving forward again.

“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”~Erica Jong

It’s interesting to note the word “blame”. As written it looks like B Lame or more to the point B (eing) Lame. It takes a strong and courageous person to end the blame game and take their life into their own hands. It takes a strong and courageous person to forgive. One of the bravest things you can do is look in the mirror, accept you played some part and forgive yourself. Look in the mirror! Be brave! FORGIVE!~Shine Your Light Debbie 

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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What Touches Us, Changes Our Lives Forever….

myth“It is everyday, a normal day, it is one day that a chance meeting can change, influence and touch your life and send you on a different course. It is a smile, it is helpful hand, a comment overheard at the bus stop that makes you pause and think.”~Excerpt from Touch by Ellyzabeth Adler

Those who cross our path and touch our hearts are a part of our lives forever. Even those who touch our lives in passing become a part of our history and no matter how much time passes, our history remains. Nothing is or can be deleted. Once we’ve been touched, we are forever changed.

The mind may, and most probably will, distort the facts. This is most common when it comes to our closest relationships. Our history is embellished and made more beautiful, romantic, idealistic, perfect; or more horrific, full of blame, disgust or imperfections. However we remember a past event, keep in mind that unless we’re actually watching an unedited video, listening to an unedited recording or reading unedited words, it is all a picture, an illusion.

We may not have heard what we thought we heard. We might have missed something that was said. We might have misunderstood an intent because we were experiencing everything through filters of fear, guilt or even hope. We might have misunderstood because we were not fully present and actually listening.

At times we all have selective “sight” and “hearing”. This is completely natural and only becomes a challenge when we hold on to the past and someone has to be “right”. Distorting the past and having to be “right” is more about not taking ownership for our part. It is us trying to rationalize “why” something happened or didn’t happen; rationalizing why something worked out or didn’t.

Let’s face it, when it comes to ourselves we occasionally experience moments of “willful blindness”. There are just some things we not only don’t want to see within ourselves, but those things we don’t want or aren’t ready to take ownership of. Whether we choose to face them head on or not the energy charge is still there until we release resistance, accept, forgive and allow ourselves to re-connect with love.

All those who have crossed our path and touched our hearts are a part of our history. We cannot ignore, or rationalize and there is no need to be “right”. We must accept and take ownership for our part. We must accept and take responsibility for the history we were fully engaged in creating even if we did not have our full awareness.

It is not how we remember so much as that we HONOR those people and experiences that have shaped our lives and become a part of our history. Those who have touched us.

“Touch is the pure essence to life, to love, to all human beings; to what connects us.”~Excerpt from Touch by Ellyzabeth Adler

Love is what touches us. Kindness is love extended to another. Love is what connects us. Love is also a vibration many fear for love makes us vulnerable. It is fear that causes us to rationalize, get angry or distort the very history that simply because it touched us, gave us a most profound gift.

The distorted memories are what keep us stuck, angry, afraid and unable to receive the gentle touch of a hand or a heart reaching out. Love is what we are and what connects us. Love is so powerful it may very well be the source of fear because when we are touched by it we know everything changes.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.“~Rumi

Seasons Greetings with Infinite Love and Gratitude!

Sparklytreenote1

It is with deep gratitude in my heart I say thank you for your inspiration and support. I write this blog for you and it is my sincere hope that by reading these simple words, you find strength within and love in your heart.

2014 was a challenging year of profound change for many. We experienced love, loss, learning, challenges and letting go. At the same time we rallied around each other to lift up those who needed our love. As we move forward into 2015 let us continue to share and care for each other.

My holiday wish for you and your loved ones is that your hearts find peace and your homes be filled with light, love and laughter during the holidays and beyond.
From my heart to yours with infinite love~Shine Your Light, Debbie

6 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues!

HolidayIf you’re stressed out or singing the holiday blues these days you are not alone.

This time of year it’s common for people to feel lonely, isolated, stressed out or sad.

Here are 6 ways to shift the holiday blues so you can experience the season with JOY!

1. Disconnect

Social media is a wonderful place to connect but the fact is, not everything you see is real. I call it “the face of Facebook”. Everyone is ‘blessed’, ‘grateful’, having an amazing time, happy and joyful. Of course that’s true for some but everyone is human, has challenges, bad days and situations they don’t share. On the flip side there are rants, judgement, anger and downright nastiness. Although we think we are “connected” we are, in fact, disconnected from ourselves. Disconnect from the illusions and the energy on social media that may be affecting you more than you account for and re-connect with yourself.

2. Meditate

Take 5 or 10 minutes (at the very least) to simply breathe, feel your connection with the earth and your energy flow. Check in with yourself. Reconnect with YOU. Daily meditation during the holidays has a cumulative effect. The more you find time to meditate, the smoother your day will be. You could even take it one step farther and actually set the energy of the holidays for yourself. While in meditation, decide what energy vibration you’d like to experience for a particular day and “set” that day. In fact, try doing it today! Set the energy you’d like to experience for today and see what happens. Call it a practice day and we all know, practice makes perfect.

3. Manage Expectations

There is a lot of pressure during the holiday season. We are expected to find the perfect gift, act a certain way, be somewhere on time, be nice etc. There are a plethora of expectations we are supposed to meet and those expectations from others (and the expectations we have for ourselves) put more pressure on us. How you choose to take part in the holidays is totally up to you. To manage expectations check in with yourself and see what YOU need. If you find yourself responding, going to every party, caving to peer pressure to eat drink and be merry when you don’t feel like it, check in with yourself and just notice if you’re answering to the expectations of others or putting undo pressure on yourself with your own expectations.

4. Release the Ghosts of Holidays Past

The holidays can be a challenging, sad and lonely time of year often times because of holidays past. It is inevitable we will be missing a loved one, stressed out by something that happened and remembering fondly, or not so fondly, holidays long past. When holiday memories come up, acknowledge and embrace them. Notice the feeling that accompanies the memory and acknowledge that too. Once you’ve acknowledged the memory allow it to be released. Release the ghosts of holidays past so you are free and have access to all your energy to create beautiful holiday magic in the present.

5. Let Family be Family

Even the happiest of families has its moments. Someone, whether consciously or unconsciously, might invalidate you, compete with you, boss you around or simply push your buttons. Take a breath and find some neutrality. If things get ugly, meet the situation by taking a deep breath, checking in with yourself and remembering they are engaging you because of their own “stuff”. You don’t need to challenge, fight with, prove yourself or engage them. Your neutrality is you taking the “high road” and helps to defuse the situation. You know that saying “peace on earth, good will towards men”? Why not extend a little of that towards family?

6. Find your Magic and JOY!

Connect with your own unique (and powerful) vibrations of magic and joy. Allow the magic and joy to flow through you. Create magical connections and situations. Don’t simply respond to an invitation, do those things that bring YOU joy and are not simply obligations to family and friends. There is a magical, beautiful world out there filled with joy. Allow yours to flow and surround yourself with it.

During the stressful holiday season reconnect with YOU. Take time to breathe. Manage expectations. Allow others to be where they are. Release the ghosts that haunt you. Connect with those you love who may or may not be family and plan a little holiday magic! Sometimes all it takes is to get up close and personal with yourself and others. Cheers to JOY and Magic!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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Reorganizing Your Energy

Energy“It’s not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.”~Kristin Armstrong

Today I’m doing a much-needed “energy reorganiziation”. Won’t you join me in creating a new starting point for yourself? Let’s take pause, reset and open our hearts  and minds to new possibilities!

As you may or may not know in addition to clairvoyant healing work I’m a Real Estate Broker . Yesterday I closed a real estate deal that took a more than 10 months to complete. Once the transaction was officially ‘closed’ a wave of relief washed over me and it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was at that very moment I realized how much of my energy I didn’t have access to because it was inextricably tied up in the deal.

What happened in those 10 months is a perfect example of what happens when we resist and try to control or heal those who are not only committed to holding on (not letting go), but choose to punish and blame everyone else in the process without taking any responsibility.

Here is a brief timeline of events. Put the 2 flat on the market in February and basically sold it in 7 days. Gave tenant legal notice to vacate even though at that point he didn’t have a lease. Although the tenant initially agreed to move prior to closing in March, he decided to stop paying rent and stay (as a squatter). Due to the tenant using the already lengthy system to extend his holdover it took more than 8 painful months (in court) to evict him.

Once the tenant was evicted, the buyer chose to punish the seller by not communicating for another month. Apparently she was “mad” it took so long to evict the tenant. (Eviction time-frames are up to the courts and totally out of the sellers control.)  After finally establishing communication, the buyer cancelled the deal. The crazy part is the seller repeatedly offered to let her out of the transaction yet she decided to move forward until our side was ready to close.

There were challenges and lessons in patience at every turn. I realized that for 10 plus months a lot of my energy was caught up in healing the seller, anger at the tenant for not leaving and abusing what is clearly a broken eviction process and frustration with a manipulative buyer who ignored attempts to communicate.

Yes I was angry, impatient, frustrated and in resistance. So much for my zen, peaceful self!

While in the middle of it, I recognized my frustration, anger etc however I did not realize how much of my energy was tied up. This is very common and most times it takes a step away to finally see it. Once it’s seen we have the opportunity to do a little energy reorganizing; including releasing and calling back energy.

For my reorganization, I’m going to call back all the energy that’s still caught up in the deal. I’m going to look at what else or who else I am still healing. I will look to see where I’m angry at not being able to control circumstances beyond my control. I will ask the questions what am I holding on to and/or how am I using the “system” to rationalize my actions? Am I trying to manipulate and control because I’m frustrated?

When you use your experiences to ask questions, you instantly create a shift in your perspective by making it more neutral. You take ownership through acceptance. Looking at yourself first allows you to understand where others might be coming from. It allows you to forgive others for their actions and to forgive yourself for your RE-actions. It allows you to release the energy and pictures that caused you to try and control people or events and go into resistance.

Is there something or someone in your life that’s taking up your energy? Are you in resistance? Are you healing, punishing or blaming others? Wouldn’t you like your energy back so you have more to create with? If so, do a little reorganizing around yourself!

It’s time to create a new starting point, take pause, reset, and open our hearts  and minds to new possibilities!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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Happy Thanksgiving from My Heart to Yours!

Turkey

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”~Henry Van Dyke

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing you the best of everything! 

May your heart be filled with love,
your belly filled with food, and your 
soul filled with joy!

It is with gratitude and appreciation I thank you for honoring me and blessing my life with your presence and support. I’m so grateful we can share our journeys because in sharing, no one need ever be alone.

Give thanks to those who are dear to your heart not just on Thanksgiving but every day. Life is so very precious and we need to tell those we love how much we love them. There is no such thing as ‘too much’ love and appreciation.Give thanks for all you have. Appreciating what you already have is abundance. Give thanks with love for when your heart is filled with gratitude and appreciation you will notice an overflowing abundance of love in all that you have and in everything you do.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you for following and reading this blog. Thank you for being in my life! Thank you for providing me with inspiration and continually filling my heart with joyful song as we lift each other up.

Bountiful blessings to you and yours!

Love,
Debbie