April is Stress Awareness Month: De-Stress with a Zen Den!

serenityflower“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”~Amit Ray

Do we really need a “stress awareness month”? I’m pretty sure we are already aware of how stressed we are! How can we not be? We’re constantly being bombarded with energy, taking on extra responsibility and attempting to meet our various and ever-increasing deadlines.

From the media to friends, family and even those we don’t even know, everything is energy and, at times, we are effected without even knowing the source. Isn’t it interesting that Stress Awareness Month is also the month our taxes are due?

Although each of us could choose neutral, say hello to the energy and simply let it go, most of us have not arrived at that blissful, neutral, non-complicated place. For those of us who are givers we need to remind ourselves it’s important (and OK) to give to ourselves. Even 5 minutes of self-care begins to do just that.

When we really break it down, much of the cause of our stress comes from our attention being outside of ourselves. We are thinking (or worrying about) the past or future. We are trying to control others. We are in resistance (circumstances or people), or we are worrying about others and/or how someone else will react. Of course there are many other stressors but for now, let’s focus on a few things we can do to de-stress.

Eat well

Bodies not only need balanced nutrition but they ENJOY eating! When you eat a healthy, balanced diet your body will be happy. Focus on your food when eating. If you’re at home, eat at the table, use the good dishes. Make mealtime enjoyable. Really taste the food. The more of your senses you use, the more in present time, and less stressed, you will be! Also, a hungry body is a stressed body. Don’t skip meals and DO have something on hand for when you find yourself hungry between meals. It’s ok to add healthy snacks or an additional small meal to your day.

Exercise and Play

Fact: Bodies need to exercise AND play! You might not enjoy exercising in the traditional sense so find something you enjoy doing. Maybe even combine it with play! Go to the playground and swing on a swing. Skip down the street, take a dance class, enjoy a bicycle tour of your city, go to the arboretum or walk the gardens, go on a hike, a climb or try something new like spelunking. Commit to a little “fun movement” every day. If you don’t have much time you can certainly take a 10 minute walk. Whatever you choose to do, be sure to notice your surroundings. Smell the flowers. Listen to sounds and by all means feel your body and breathe!

Hobbies

When was the last time you did something you enjoy for no other reason but you enjoy doing it? What are you interested in? Sometimes we get so caught up in work and/or day-to-day tasks we forget to do the things we like to do. It might be an artistic endeavor, a craft, an activity, learning to speak another language or even reading a book. I just read a study that said reading for only 5 minutes will dramatically reduce stress. If you don’t have a hobby but want to try something new, check out Meetup.com . Scroll through and find something that sounds like fun and by all means check it out. Any shift in your attention and energy will shift your stress level!

Meditation/Mindfulness

Transform Chaos to CalmThere is nothing better for de-stressing than meditation and inner reflection. Create a “Zen Den” for yourself. This is a comfortable “sanctuary” space free of distractions; A safe, anxiety free, zone if you will. If you have a meditation practice great! If not, simply close your eyes, breathe, bring your attention and energy back to you and imagine the stress simply melting away.

Meditation won’t solve all your problems but it will instantly shift your energy and definitely help! I have a couple of guided meditations (free to listen or download) available on my website and I’m working on adding a special stress relieving meditation as well. “Transforming Chaos to Calm” was initially offered as a free meditation workshop and is a very popular download.

Get a Massage

A massage is a great way to unwind and don’t discount the power of the human touch. If you are feeling isolated, alone and stuck in your thoughts, a massage will bring you back to the present. It will not only bring your attention back to your body it feels good! If you have a limited amount of time, check out a neck/shoulder massage. Depending on where you live and what your job is, they might even offer these types of massages at your workplace or close by.

Now that you have a few tried and true ways to de-stress, do you know what they all have in common? With each one you step out of your “thoughts”, shift your perspective and re-center mind, body and spirit in present time! Your energy and attention are on you, for you.

Part of de-stressing lies in the ability to give to yourself. Take a breath, acknowledge you are stressed then stop and get into present time with your surroundings. If you think you don’t have time, think again! There are 24 hours in a day and we’re talking about 10-15 minutes a day at the very least, 1 or 2 hours a day at most, depending on how much time you have and/or need to de-stress.

Take time each day to unwind and bring your attention back to you. Create a “Zen Den” sanctuary. Live in the moment. Live in your breath and transform chaos to calm.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Do You Act Upon Your Miracles?

Miracle & Light“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”~Albert Einstein

Does a miracle change things by the notion that it appears and “poof” everything changes or is it a matter of acting on the miracle that presented itself? Is it “enough” that you recognized the miracle or will you take action with the knowledge that an amazing opportunity just opened a door for you and all you need do is act upon it by simply taking a step forward to walk through the door?

There’s no better time to reflect upon miracles, spirit and freedom than this holy week of Passover and Easter. From the miracle of the parting of the Red Sea to the miracle of spirit appearing after death, this is a week to reflect upon what we actually DO with the miracles that occur in each of our lives.

It might be a thought, an opportunity or you just might have an epiphany which in an instant helps you change direction. After all aren’t those the miracles you pray for? An answer is just as much of a miracle as anything else if you’ve asked a question (or prayed for it) long enough. What you do with your miracle is up to you but first you must start to see those miracles and find freedom by making the impossible, possible with your choices.

Back in 1980 I was living in Israel on Kibbutz Ha’Ogen. During the time I was there I had the opportunity to part take of a Passover Seder on the Kibbutz. The Seder was very different from the one I experienced growing up. At the time I spoke semi-fluent hebrew and was struck at the core of my being when the words (loosely translated here) were “It is what we did for ourselves with the help of God’s miracles that brought us out of Egypt.” Wait a second! It wasn’t all about what “God did for us (‘us’ meaning the Jewish people) that brought us out of Egypt.”

It made so much sense to me. If the Red Sea parted but the people were too afraid to step forward and actually walk the path that was miraculously created  the story of Exodus would be very different. In fact the story of Exodus might not exist at all. Can you imagine if the people said “ok God, you parted the sea, cool trick. Now what? Can you tele-port me to the other side.” I realized back then that if you don’t act on miracles or opportunities or the answers to your prayers you will still be in a place of waiting for miracles, opportunities or your prayers to be answered. You need to act upon the miracles presented to you at any given moment and in many ways, acting upon your miracles is another miracle!

The definition of a miracle is that which cannot be scientifically explained or otherwise attributable to the “laws of nature” but who of us has not experienced or seen some sort of miracle? The birth of a baby, the seeds sprouting in spring, or waking up in the morning after a devastating storm when you thought you would surely parish. The fact that you are a divine spirit and that you made the choice to live in a human body is a miracle. The sun rising and setting is a miracle.

So as in the opening Einstein quote; “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” Each day presents you with miracles and perhaps the real miracle is the choice you have to act upon those miracles. It is YOU and what you choose to do for yourself when you are given a miracle that makes all the difference!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2013-2015 All Rights Reserved

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Super (New) Moon + Solar Eclipse + Equinox! Ride the Wave on March 20, 2015!

Super Moon, equinox, solar eclipse. Ride the waves on March 20As if it’s not enough to handle the energy of a super moon, a new moon, an equinox or a solar eclipse individually we will have a rare opportunity to experience all three, in the same week, on the same day!

Hold on to your hats folks the wave of energy is on its way! Actually the energy is already effecting us but with a bit of self-care you will successfully ride the wave of this energetic tsunami!

First let’s look at the energy of the Super Moon. A super moon occurs when the moon is at or closest to the earth in a particular orbit. In short, what’s going to happen during this eclipse is the Earth, Moon and Sun will all be in a line, with Moon in its nearest approach to Earth. This is a great time to look at your spiritual alignment between body and spirit as well as your alignment with the earth.

Riding the energy wave doesn’t mean you let go of your grounding! In fact it’s just the opposite. With all the energy stirred up and getting ready for release it’s important you re-ground and center yourself in present time. You may have already noticed your meditation space shifting in the past couple of days (I know I have.) If you’ve noticed a shift or you find it difficult to meditate just remind yourself you’re feeling the approach of the energy wave.

Another aspect caused by a Super Moon is heightened emotions. If you’ve found yourself extra emotional and there’s no reason for it, this might be why. Again, check your grounding and give those emotions space to flow. Like the tides, our emotions ebb and flow. Let them.

Now, let’s look at the energy of a solar eclipse. A solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes directly in between the earth and the sun. It momentarily blocks out the light from the sun.

Eclipses signify endings and beginnings. They literally ‘eclipse out’ things in your life that no longer serve you and free up your energy to create anew. The equinox is a wonderful time to create and grow new experiences, ideas and to finally start those projects you’ve been ready to put into motion.

The eclipse will help you move out anything that’s been standing in your way but as with all healing energy work, you have to WANT to release what no longer serves you or gets in your way. There’s power in this eclipse but you don’t have to get steam rolled under it. Choose to ride the wave and enter a new beginning for yourself!

Another important note is this particular cosmic event (according to NASA) will have an effect on the power systems; It will have a direct effect on everyone who is sensitive to energy. Keep breathing and take solace that after this 2015 equinox eclipse, the next solar eclipse at the March equinox will happen on March 20, 2034. Then there will only be two more in this century: 2053 and 2072.

The energy of the Spring Equinox is all about planting the seeds, growth and renewal. The energetic combination will truly offer us a gift. We all can change directions, illuminate the darkness, release that which no longer serves and warm our hearts and minds with the coming sun.

So grab your surf board, give yourself a new grounding cord and lets ride the wave of this one! Nothing but leaving the past behind, opening up your creativity, and riding off into new, brighter horizons!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Asking the right questionsHave you ever gone looking for an answer to something and no matter what you do, where you look or what you meditate on the answer never comes?

If this has ever happened to you (or is happening now) you might want to ask a different question; Maybe the question you’re asking isn’t really yours!

Now you might be wondering what I mean by “is (are) the question(s) really yours?” What I’m asking you to ask yourself is where are your questions coming from?

Are you asking questions out of habit? Is there programming in place that causes you to ask certain questions or go on a quest to find answers for someone (like a friend or family member) other than yourself?

As an aside, it’s also possible you are receiving answers to the questions you are asking but you don’t necessarily recognize that no answer is THE answer. A perfect example is if you are constantly asking yourself “what is wrong with me?” and you don’t get an answer. Could it be that you’re not receiving an answer because there’s NOTHING wrong with you? Yes, dear ones, in the world of “everything is energy” no answer might actually be THE answer!

If at first you don’t succeed…

When asking questions simply ask a question then allow it to lead you to another question and then another. You may find that when you allow your questions to lead you to other questions your next question might answer to your previous question!

If the same question keeps coming up over and over or you find yourself stuck or in effort, make it a point to change the question. For example if you’re asking why this or that is happening (or hasn’t happened) to you or for you, change the question to “what do I need to clear to create space or raise my having-ness” to move forward?”

This is where you might notice the question wasn’t yours in the first place. Try not to judge whatever comes up for you. Just notice your energy and your thoughts. As spiritual seekers looking to heal, whether you like the answer or not, you are receiving valuable information.

Ask the right questions and the answers find YOU!

All healing starts with not only asking the right questions but continually asking questions. In the grand scheme of things, you don’t know what you don’t know (none of us do) and how will you find out if you don’t continually ask questions? When you ask the right questions the answers WILL find you. Allow your answers to come without expectation OR resistance.

It’s best to be open, in neutral and set your intention to accept the answers even if you don’t necessarily like what they are. If an answer doesn’t seem to come or you feel stuck in a never-ending loop of asking the same question over and over, check to see where the question is coming from or if it’s even yours.

If it’s not yours, let it go and ask a different question. If it IS yours and you’re still stuck, look within to see 1. if you already have the answer but haven’t acknowledged it yet and 2. if you’re asking a question directly related to what it is you really want know. It might be that you’re afraid to ask because you’re afraid of what that answer might be.

When you ask the right questions, you will receive answers. You may find that your question keeps leading you back to you because really, you already have your answers. Your answers live in your heart, your mind and your curious spirit. Look inside! You have a treasure trove of answers just waiting for you!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Photo Credit: © Jorgosphotos | Dreamstime.comSmart Thinking Men With Q For Question Mark Photo

Forgive Them…It’s Not Who They Are

violet

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.“~Marianne Williamson

As spirits in human form we came here to learn and experience something different.

Although spirit is bright, pure love there are some lessons that come from our all to very human choices and with those choices we occasionally get hurt.

I know it seems counter intuitive to most healers and those focused on healing themselves but there are some who take longer than others to awaken and heal themselves.

Sadly there are some so full of pain they cannot see who they are and they, consciously or unconsciously, inflict pain or cause conflict and drama. One of the reasons it’s so difficult to forgive those who have hurt us is there is something inside of us we need to heal or forgive ourselves for.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.~Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is power and freedom in forgiveness. There is healing and peace in forgiveness but the healing must begin with forgiving ourselves first. Those who have hurt us do so because there was a level of trust and expectation on our part.  We cannot control others. We cannot make them treat us fairly; Be honest with us or love us.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you allow people to continue to hurt you. You forgive them for what they did because they were not aware of themselves enough to recognize that what they did was because of deep-set fear or pain within themselves. You forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you because you allowed yourself to be vulnerable, open and perhaps unaware they were not ready to “have” you as you are.

Most of us are not Gandhi, Amma, Rumi or Buddha and we are not exempt from having hurt someone in our world at some point. It is part of being human. All we can do is our best. All we can do is be the best and most loving creatures we can. It is why forgiveness is a part of love.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.~Mark Twain

Take the path of forgiveness that comes directly from your heart and forgive those who have wronged you. Forgive those who have hurt you. Forgive yourself for making a mistake or judging.

You have it in you the ability emit a fragrance of love so powerful it causes peace and healing for you, for others and the world.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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It’s All About Believing in Magic!

Inner Magic“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There is power and magic in believing but this can also be a double-edged sword. Believing can also keep us stuck or in lower vibrations depending on what it is we believe.

As we move towards healing ourselves, one of the things we want to really get clear on is which of our beliefs are not really ours. How much of what we believe to be true about ourselves is energy, pictures or programming that came from others?  If we believe what we’ve been told is true, it is possible we are taking on someone else’s energy as our truth.

Where your beliefs came from doesn’t matter as much as the discovery of what is yours and what is not. Maybe someone once said you weren’t good enough. Maybe someone once said you were too fat, or too thin or called you ugly. Maybe you were so invalidated by someone, it affected your self-esteem. What you were told might be so deeply engrained that you’re no longer sure what is yours and what is not.

As you work towards finding your own truth, you unwind these beliefs or lies. It is then you begin to see yourself differently and, often, more clearly. Self-esteem and self-worth shift in a big way. When you truly believe in yourself magic not only can happen, it WILL happen!

If you have enough people sitting around telling you you’re wonderful, then you start believing you’re fabulous, then someone tells you you stink and you believe that too!”~Angelina Jolie

What we believe about ourselves is exactly how we will be. It’s also how others perceive us. This is why it’s so important to deconstruct our beliefs and make separation with that which is not ours. For instance, if deep down we believe we aren’t good enough, no matter what we do, we won’t connect with it as being good enough. The sad part is, until we release the belief we decided was true, no matter what others tell us or how much validation we receive, it will never be good enough because we believed someone else instead of listening to, feeling or connecting with our own truth.

There’s also an interesting dynamic where someone will tell you exactly how they feel about themselves. Listen to them! If someone tells you they are a “monster” or they are inadequate, or they don’t feel anything they do is good enough, no matter how bright their spirit, believe that what they are telling you is what they believe about themselves even if you see them differently. In essence, they are voicing the negative beliefs they hold about themselves and “feeding” the belief. The belief grows and is strengthened until eventually they BECOME what and who they tell people they are.

Seeing, feeling, thinking, believing – these are the stages of how we change our style on the outside and our self-image on the inside.
Stacy London

Personally I like to “believe” we all want to heal and work on ourselves at some level but if someone continually tells me what a monster they are, or they are not good enough, I’m going to have to believe them until they decide to change that belief or, of course, they ask for help changing it. How we feel and speak about ourselves is critical to our healing.

To be clear, I’m not talking about inflating egos, judging or conceit here. That’s for a different blog. This is food for thought so you can tune in more with yourself. Here are a few questions you can ask….

How do you speak about yourself to others? What do you believe about yourself that no matter how much someone tries to convince you otherwise you still feel bad or wrong deep down inside? Do you often not feel good enough or worthy enough?

The answers to those questions might very well lead you to a healing if you choose to release what is not yours and begin to connect with the magic that is! How will you know if it’s yours? Well, it feels…magical, joyful and more than that, it feels like YOU!

Great and magical things can happen when we live from a place of truth. Let go of being the person others told you you were and embrace the person you KNOW you are! “Magic is believing in yourself.” Bring in the sparkle and allow yourself to shine from the inside out!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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How to Find Time to Meditate AND Actually Meditate!

MeditateIf you have difficulty sitting down to meditate, you are not alone!

First there’s the time factor. Technology has made it easier than ever to schedule every moment of our day because we’re always connected.

Not too long ago if we were expecting a phone call, we sat at home or at the office waiting for it. Now we can take that call where ever we are.

With an ever-growing list of responsibilities at the forefront of our lives we schedule ourselves silly and unless we schedule in our meditation time or “me time” there won’t be any. We must MAKE the time just to sit down and focus on our breath. Is it just me or is something wrong with that picture? Now before you go thinking I’m some scheduling Guru, I can assure you I don’t always ‘schedule’ time for myself. 

The problem is, the less time I find to meditate, the less time it seems I HAVE to meditate; Or do anything else for that matter. In fact, on the days I make time to meditate I’m not only more effective and less overwhelmed completing my tasks, but I actually have MORE time (left over) in my day. I’m not really sure what this phenomenon is, but I can tell you from personal experience it’s true!

So you’ve scheduled in the time to meditate and now comes an even bigger challenge…actually meditating! I hear all the time from my clients, friends and energy worker colleagues how challenging it is to quiet the mind once you do sit down. I not only hear it from them but for as long as I’ve meditated there are times it’s challenging for me too.

Yes, I know what happens. You settle in, start to calm things down and then suddenly remember some task you forgot to complete or phone call that must be made or something that just has to be done right at that moment. Maybe you need to check Facebook or Twitter one last time…. Or you left the laundry in the washer….or you need to feed the cat or dog. Sound familiar?

We’ve become so used to “doing”, “responding” and not wanting to miss anything, it’s challenging even under the best of circumstances to quiet all of it down. What I’d like you to notice in all of that is the biggest challenge we have is bringing our attention back to ourselves. Tuning in to our breath. Focusing on OUR OWN needs.

One of the reasons (there are several but for the sake of keeping this less than a full novel I’ll only address one or two) it’s so challenging is because all our attention and energy is caught up in those things outside of us. It’s not that WE stop ourselves from inner peace and calm, it’s the energies we answer to that don’t want us to turn our attention inward.

Makes sense right? If we take a moment to get organized around our own energy, thoughts, wants and needs, who will take care of everyone else’s energy, thoughts, wants and needs? Once we start healing ourselves, others cannot control us, or get us to heal them, or give up our space to them so easily. Also, when you meditate consistently, your life begins to change rapidly.

You’ve heard the sayings “misery loves company” or “we love you don’t ever change”? Well, you can choose to be in that company or you can choose to move on. You can choose to stay the same and not change; Repeating the same patterns your whole life or you can acknowledge that when you sit down to meditate there may be other energies trying to stop you.

It’s important to recognize that in taking the path of healing and light, there are some that may not choose to go with you. They may not want to change and it may make them uncomfortable that you do. This doesn’t make them bad or unaware. It just might be they are on a different journey and not ready to step up in the same way, at the same time, you are. Acknowledge and validate where others are in their life. It’s ok for you to be where you are and it’s ok for them to be where they are.

Honor and respect others choices. The journey within is not about judging others or getting them to do it with you. It’s just the opposite. It’s caring for yourself and your needs. It’s about bringing your energy and attention back to you so you can be more of who you are and in doing so, by being around you, others have permission to (choose to) heal and be themselves.

If you find it difficult or downright impossible to sit down and meditate on any given day, try it for 5 or 10 minutes, then come back and do another 5 or 10 minutes later. In other words, give yourself a break. You might just be dealing with SO MUCH ENERGY that’s not yours it takes a while to clear.

So, schedule a meditation date with yourself and honor your “me time”. Although there are times when you need to break up the meditation (time), try to hang in there with a simple “breathe and release”. Break up the energy instead of the length of your mediation. How great is it to take charge of your life and create change on YOUR schedule?~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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A Glimpse: The Divine Gift of Awakening to Your Answers

As we move through our lives living, loving and learning we have “glimpses” of awareness; Glimpses of a bigger picture with infinite possibilities.

The committed spiritual seeker works towards expanding this awareness but everyone, whether awareness is worked on or not, will have momentary glimpses as we are guided by our higher selves towards the answers we seek.

Follow the “glimpse” to find the answer and reveal the bigger picture 

None of us can possibly have ALL the answers and while it would be wonderful to be omniscient and omnipotent, the reality is we don’t even know what we don’t know. We don’t have a clue what we don’t know. Sometimes our questions are merely asking for small part of what we want to know. A small part of a bigger and broader picture.

Think of it this way, if you have explored in great detail only a 4 block radius around your home, you will ask questions based on your experience and understanding of that 4 block radius.  What if your answer lies just outside that 4 block radius and you are given  a momentary glimpse of the path that goes there? Will you follow the path or stay safe within your walls, continually asking the same questions over and over, never following your gift of awareness?

Divine gifts of awareness are “snapshots” of the answer but, more often than not, they do not represent the full answer. When we catch a glimpse, the challenge is to not get stuck thinking we understand more than we do or that we are seeing the full picture. When we open up to asking the right questions based on our glimpse of awareness we are expanding our minds, opening up to greater possibilities and finding our answers as part of the bigger picture.

Our glimpses prompt us to look deeper, point us in the right direction and help us ask the right questions. Our glimpses of awareness are snapshots of love and understanding. The more we see, the more we understand. The more we understand, the more we are able to heal and forgive ourselves and others.

Follow your glimpses of awareness so they lead you to ask the right questions. Follow your glimpses of awareness so they lead you to a place of being open and able to receive more glimpses of awareness. Follow your glimpses to see the bigger picture and find answers to your questions…one glimpse at a time.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Stop Blaming. Start Forgiving and Healing

Stop Blaming Start Forgiving and Healing“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.~J. Michael Straczynski

Are you blaming someone or something for your current experience? Of course it’s THEIR fault! It’s the economy, family, your boyfriend or girlfriend, how you were brought up.. .who did it TO you. These are just a few of the “outer” situations or people we tend to “blame” when things become challenging in our lives. The problem is blame will never get you anywhere. Blame means a part of your valuable energy is stuck and holding on to the past. Blame means not taking responsibility for any part of the situation. It also takes forgiveness and healing out of the picture.

Blame is a way of rationalizing and making sense of chaos. It is far easier to blame others than to look inside and take responsibility for our part. The moment we stop blaming and start forgiving is the moment we start healing and moving on with our lives.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”~Robert Anthony

In order to heal, create change, and move on with our lives we must take responsibility for our part. Now, I hear you saying you had no part in the creation of the problem (challenge or situation).  I may not be very popular the moment I say you ALWAYS play a part in it but it IS the truth. Maybe you were (are) afraid. Maybe you were (are) not fully aware of your impact on the situation. Maybe you saw, heard or felt something through your filters.

Blaming others is not the answer. Blaming yourself is not the answer. These are never the answers because blame holds on to the past. The longer you “blame” the more the past gets embellished and the more energy you have caught up in a past that is no longer truth but an illusion.

Your true power lies in the ability to forgive others for their part and forgive yourself for your part. It may mean you have to forgive yourself for zigging when you should have zagged. It may mean you must forgive yourself for something you did or said in the past. It may mean you have to forgive someone who deeply hurt you. It may mean you must forgive yourself for being afraid or in resistance.

Regardless of what you find yourself forgiving, you’ll know immediately when you are free because it will feel like a weigh is lifted off your shoulders. You are able to look at the situation or other person without anger, fear or blame and you begin creating things and moving forward again.

“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”~Erica Jong

It’s interesting to note the word “blame”. As written it looks like B Lame or more to the point B (eing) Lame. It takes a strong and courageous person to end the blame game and take their life into their own hands. It takes a strong and courageous person to forgive. One of the bravest things you can do is look in the mirror, accept you played some part and forgive yourself. Look in the mirror! Be brave! FORGIVE!~Shine Your Light Debbie 

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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What Touches Us, Changes Our Lives Forever….

myth“It is everyday, a normal day, it is one day that a chance meeting can change, influence and touch your life and send you on a different course. It is a smile, it is helpful hand, a comment overheard at the bus stop that makes you pause and think.”~Excerpt from Touch by Ellyzabeth Adler

Those who cross our path and touch our hearts are a part of our lives forever. Even those who touch our lives in passing become a part of our history and no matter how much time passes, our history remains. Nothing is or can be deleted. Once we’ve been touched, we are forever changed.

The mind may, and most probably will, distort the facts. This is most common when it comes to our closest relationships. Our history is embellished and made more beautiful, romantic, idealistic, perfect; or more horrific, full of blame, disgust or imperfections. However we remember a past event, keep in mind that unless we’re actually watching an unedited video, listening to an unedited recording or reading unedited words, it is all a picture, an illusion.

We may not have heard what we thought we heard. We might have missed something that was said. We might have misunderstood an intent because we were experiencing everything through filters of fear, guilt or even hope. We might have misunderstood because we were not fully present and actually listening.

At times we all have selective “sight” and “hearing”. This is completely natural and only becomes a challenge when we hold on to the past and someone has to be “right”. Distorting the past and having to be “right” is more about not taking ownership for our part. It is us trying to rationalize “why” something happened or didn’t happen; rationalizing why something worked out or didn’t.

Let’s face it, when it comes to ourselves we occasionally experience moments of “willful blindness”. There are just some things we not only don’t want to see within ourselves, but those things we don’t want or aren’t ready to take ownership of. Whether we choose to face them head on or not the energy charge is still there until we release resistance, accept, forgive and allow ourselves to re-connect with love.

All those who have crossed our path and touched our hearts are a part of our history. We cannot ignore, or rationalize and there is no need to be “right”. We must accept and take ownership for our part. We must accept and take responsibility for the history we were fully engaged in creating even if we did not have our full awareness.

It is not how we remember so much as that we HONOR those people and experiences that have shaped our lives and become a part of our history. Those who have touched us.

“Touch is the pure essence to life, to love, to all human beings; to what connects us.”~Excerpt from Touch by Ellyzabeth Adler

Love is what touches us. Kindness is love extended to another. Love is what connects us. Love is also a vibration many fear for love makes us vulnerable. It is fear that causes us to rationalize, get angry or distort the very history that simply because it touched us, gave us a most profound gift.

The distorted memories are what keep us stuck, angry, afraid and unable to receive the gentle touch of a hand or a heart reaching out. Love is what we are and what connects us. Love is so powerful it may very well be the source of fear because when we are touched by it we know everything changes.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.“~Rumi