When saying YES to others is saying NO to you…


PeaceblueThis above all; To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night  the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”~ Hamlet Act I Scene III by William  Shakespeare

Have you ever found yourself saying YES to someone even though in doing so you were saying NO to yourself? I know I certainly have! I recently read Paulo Coelho’s Warrior of Light and one of the passages really got me thinking about how many times I’ve done this very thing and said YES to others at my expense. In retrospect there were all too many times when I said YES and responded how I thought I should and did not express how I was really feeling. Too many times when I was an out of control healer and did not say no….

So often we get caught up healing and giving to others that we lower our vibration and move away from our own truth. In my case I’m sure there were times I said YES because it was the right thing to do but how about the times it was because I wanted someone to like me or I was looking to be validated? How many times have I given up my space and responded by getting involved in the problems and drama of those who are perfectly capable of healing themselves yet they choose not to?  Probably all too many! Saying YES and helping a friend in need is important. Doing the “right” thing is also important; HOWEVER  saying YES in lieu of taking care of your own problems, challenges or health is something entirely different.

Be true to you…

It’s more common than not for people to say yes to others and we make up wonderful excuses for doing it. We tell ourselves there is a deadline to be met, we will be given back to or loved and dare I mention that at some level we think saying yes will bring us validation or recognition from those we said yes to?!  When you are being true to yourself and caring for you sometimes the kindest and most healing thing you can do for yourself and others is say NO. To be sure, saying NO isn’t easy especially when we’ve been taught since we were children to be gracious and kind; BUT why do we so readily say yes to others when it is saying NO to us? I can tell you from personal experience that saying yes doesn’t bring validation, love or recognition depending on who you say yes to. When it’s a “no” for us and yet we say yes, in essence we have allowed someone or something else to become more important (senior) to us.

If you are continually saying yes and afterwards find yourself beating yourself up or complaining about it, isn’t that saying NO to yourself? If it doesn’t feel good going into the yes or it causes you stress, isn’t that saying NO to you? How amusing it is we find it so difficult to say no to others yet say no to ourselves all the time! If you are a healer and giver you may be experiencing the effects of saying yes all too often. When saying yes is saying no to yourself you take on energies, pain and problems from others. If you don’t know what I mean, think about how often you struggle to find a solution to someone else’s problems. Think about the reasons you said yes in the first place. Keep in mind that NO is an option and you have a right to say it!

As we raise our consciousness and become more aware of our own energy and what we are doing with it, don’t you think it’s time to find balance? There are always things we must say yes to that in the end benefit us even though (initially) we wanted say no but in those instances when saying yes is saying no to you at a core level it bares a bit of contemplation. Certainly say yes when it’s a YES for you! Listen to your intuition and say NO if it doesn’t feel right. When saying YES brings joy to your mind, body, spirit and soul, that’s a YES for you! Don’t you think it time to say YES to YOU?  Repeat after me….YES! YES! YES to ME!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2013 All Rights Reserved

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