When saying YES to others is saying NO to you…

PeaceblueThis above all; To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night  the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”~ Hamlet Act I Scene III by William  Shakespeare

Have you ever found yourself saying YES to someone even though in doing so you were saying NO to yourself? I know I certainly have! I recently read Paulo Coelho’s Warrior of Light and one of the passages really got me thinking about how many times I’ve done this very thing and said YES to others at my expense. In retrospect there were all too many times when I said YES and responded how I thought I should and did not express how I was really feeling. Too many times when I was an out of control healer and did not say no….

So often we get caught up healing and giving to others that we lower our vibration and move away from our own truth. In my case I’m sure there were times I said YES because it was the right thing to do but how about the times it was because I wanted someone to like me or I was looking to be validated? How many times have I given up my space and responded by getting involved in the problems and drama of those who are perfectly capable of healing themselves yet they choose not to?  Probably all too many! Saying YES and helping a friend in need is important. Doing the “right” thing is also important; HOWEVER  saying YES in lieu of taking care of your own problems, challenges or health is something entirely different.

Be true to you…

It’s more common than not for people to say yes to others and we make up wonderful excuses for doing it. We tell ourselves there is a deadline to be met, we will be given back to or loved and dare I mention that at some level we think saying yes will bring us validation or recognition from those we said yes to?!  When you are being true to yourself and caring for you sometimes the kindest and most healing thing you can do for yourself and others is say NO. To be sure, saying NO isn’t easy especially when we’ve been taught since we were children to be gracious and kind; BUT why do we so readily say yes to others when it is saying NO to us? I can tell you from personal experience that saying yes doesn’t bring validation, love or recognition depending on who you say yes to. When it’s a “no” for us and yet we say yes, in essence we have allowed someone or something else to become more important (senior) to us.

If you are continually saying yes and afterwards find yourself beating yourself up or complaining about it, isn’t that saying NO to yourself? If it doesn’t feel good going into the yes or it causes you stress, isn’t that saying NO to you? How amusing it is we find it so difficult to say no to others yet say no to ourselves all the time! If you are a healer and giver you may be experiencing the effects of saying yes all too often. When saying yes is saying no to yourself you take on energies, pain and problems from others. If you don’t know what I mean, think about how often you struggle to find a solution to someone else’s problems. Think about the reasons you said yes in the first place. Keep in mind that NO is an option and you have a right to say it!

As we raise our consciousness and become more aware of our own energy and what we are doing with it, don’t you think it’s time to find balance? There are always things we must say yes to that in the end benefit us even though (initially) we wanted say no but in those instances when saying yes is saying no to you at a core level it bares a bit of contemplation. Certainly say yes when it’s a YES for you! Listen to your intuition and say NO if it doesn’t feel right. When saying YES brings joy to your mind, body, spirit and soul, that’s a YES for you! Don’t you think it time to say YES to YOU?  Repeat after me….YES! YES! YES to ME!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2013 All Rights Reserved

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What’s Hidden in Plain Sight?

“It isn’t what you did in the past that will affect the present. It’s what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future”  From the book Aleph by Paulo Coehlo

Today I decided to finally clean out the cutlery drawer in my kitchen. Frankly it was disgusting and needed to be cleaned out for quite some time. I never seemed to have the time or want to make the time to do it. It actually got to the point that I would use the clean ‘silverware’ in the dishwasher instead of even opening the drawer lest I be reminded of how badly it needed to be cleaned.

I started my project with great resistance thinking it was going to take me hours when in fact it took me all of 30 minutes to clean and sanitize the drawer, the inserts and everything inside. Yes it took a total of half an hour to clean years of crumbs, dirt, spills (and other things not very recognizable) all of which could be seen in plain sight. Clearly for whatever reason I  never took the time to address it even though the grime was in plain sight. Every time I opened the drawer I winced and promised myself I would do it ‘tomorrow’ then I closed the drawer until the next time. In life, as ‘hidden’ in a drawer used every day, there are things right in front of our eyes which for whatever reason we either can’t see, don’t want to see or for lack of a better term are hidden in plain sight until we are ready to see them. There are questions we seek answers to that have already been answered and we would know this if for just one moment we took the time to open the drawer (our eyes) and see them clearly.

Your answers are in plain sight even if they have a bit of grime covering them. Your answers are hidden in plain sight all around you at this very moment. Your answers live in your home, they reside in the people you surround yourself with, the conversations you have and more importantly; Your answers are hidden in plain sight within you. Your answers lie within your past, what energies you hold on to and even what you’ve already let go of. Answers show themselves to you every day when you choose to ask the right questions, see the answers and be open to receiving what is now revealing itself to you. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time but it does take a dose of awareness. It takes courage to open your eyes and look at your life and your patterns and to see what you don’t want to see.

How many times have you looked for something and it’s sitting right in front of you? How many times have you absently walked by your answer because you’ve gotten used to seeing it there and it blends in the background? What answers are hidden in your past which might affect the future? What answers do you seek outside of yourself which have already  been answered but you refuse to see? Take a closer look at the picture on this post. Did you see the grasshopper when you first looked at the post? Do you see it now? It was right there all along but perhaps you missed it at first glance.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel  2012 All rights reserved

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