Is the fear of being impolite stronger than doing what is best for you?

Does the sun politely ask the darkness if it can shine or does it just rise and shine?

Love thy neighbor as thyself. Be polite. Say thank you. Mind your manners. Use common courtesy. Of course these are things we learn as children and as each of us strives to be a better person it is possible to try so hard to be “nice” and “polite” that we occasionally get hurt in the process. In the world of politeness and common courtesy the question posed (along with a few others) are good ones to ponder. Is the fear of being impolite stronger than doing what is best for you? Is being polite more important than your feelings? Are you so afraid of being seen as impolite that you disregard your own truth and do the polite thing even if it causes you pain?

Common courtesy and living from the golden rule is a given. Everyone should practice those on a daily basis but when your intuition kicks in and there are danger signals it is conceivable that the “polite” thing to do is not the right thing for you. A great example of this is when you are going through a tough time and a friend calls to tell you all their problems and you become a dumping ground for their pain. Normally you would probably listen intently and lovingly try to help them however what if doing that means you put aside caring for yourself and your own needs? If you happen to take on their problems and pain you are causing yourself more pain in the process. If you simply must be polite how about speaking from your heart and telling them you really need your space and can’t help them right then? If they continue on with no regard for what you need they are really not listening to YOU or care about what you need. At that point perhaps you don’t have to be nice about it.

If someone offered you drugs would you take them because want to be polite? If you have a food allergy would you eat foods which would harm you? Of course not! It is no different with what you take on energetically. Emotional pain is generally someone else’s energy in your space and it possibly manifests as illness in your body. When the fear of being impolite is stronger than your needs and causes you more pain it’s time to take notice! If being polite is more important than your own self-worth and you politely take whatever  is thrown at you it’s time to re-evaluate. If negativity surrounds you yet you’re still being ‘nice’ to those negative people instead of distancing yourself perhaps it’s time to look deeper to find out why it is that this happens. Don’t allow fear to run your life and take over even if it means someone might not like you. They may not like you but what’s the cost to you if they do?

Listen to your intuition and feel your feelings. If your gut is screaming at you to get out of there….get out of there! You don’t have to make excuses or be polite.  Here’s the part you’ll like; You don’t have to be rude or impolite to stand your ground! Politely go ahead and excuse yourself. Politely tell someone you’re not feeling up to it (whatever ‘it’ is). It is possible to stand up for yourself by speaking from your heart with graceful, loving intent. If someone or some thing is not healthy or in your best interests maybe it’s time to clear the fear, stop being polite and speak your truth whether someone likes it or not. Rise and shine! ~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel  2012 All rights reserved

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The Golden Rule….

by Norman Rockwell

From the Holy bible to Confucius, Babylon to China the “Golden Rule‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’  is a cornerstone for how we live our lives. It has been stated and restated by religious leaders and philosophers for centuries and it truly is a good  rule to apply to our lives

We would all like to be treated fairly, with love & understanding, and each of us try to live gracefully treating others as we wish to be treated.  We all want and  deserve to be treated with respect and hopefully make it a priority to respect others.

We  apply the Golden Rule to our lives and treat others as we wish to be treated but many times feel as if we are not treated in the way we would like. Why do you suppose this happens? I will answer the question with another question and I know you’ll see where I’m headed; do you apply the Golden Rule when it comes to how you treat YOU? How others treat you is in direct response to what you believe about AND how you treat yourself!

Do you beat yourself up from time to time? Have you ever lied to yourself about something or someone? Do you judge yourself in any way? Are you gentle with your body and treat it with respect by eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep? Do you love yourself?

Do you value YOU and all that you are? Do you care for and pamper yourself as you do for others? Have you cheated or stolen from yourself precious moments because you were too busy to really take time to cherish them?

If you have ever wondered why certain things don’t manifest in your life these are some interesting questions to meditate on. It is those deep-seated beliefs you hold that are not only outwardly felt by others but keep you stuck wondering why.

On  the opposite end of the spectrum as a point/counter point if you  wonder why people don’t do for you that which you seek or you feel as if life is a bit unfair that’s what you’ve put out there and that’s what you’ll get back! Have a look at what and how you do unto others.  It works both ways and ALL begins with YOU! 🙂

You wouldn’t lie, cheat or steal from someone so why would you do it to yourself? Respect yourself as much as you respect others. Value yourself for the loving human being that you are! Love yourself for all that you are! Care for and respect your body; it’s the only one you’ll have this lifetime!

Be kind and gentle with yourself. If you make a mistake let it go, move on! Treat yourself with the love you wish have in your life. Apply and embody the Golden Rule: Do unto YOURSELF as you wish to do for others as well as Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!

Make the Golden Rule a part of your life and live it for YOU! Release your old beliefs, treat yourself how you wish to be treated, treat others as YOU wish to be treated and watch your life transform! ~Shine Your Light Debbie 

©Debra Taitel 2010 All rights reserved 


Debra is a clairvoyant reader, spiritual healer, intuitive coach and teacher helping people worldwide to awaken to their truth and heal the human spirit. For more information, to schedule a reading/coaching session and information on upcoming workshops & events please visit her website or send an email to