Validation – Page 3

“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.”~Barbara de Angelis

Love is indeed a force more formidable than any other. It has the power to change your life and outlook in an instant. Love is an energy vibration that cannot be seen but is felt at such a deep level that words cannot possibly describe the feeling effectively. The vibration of love is inherent in each of us. In fact we simply ARE love. It is our highest vibration! Why do we go outside ourselves looking for it when all we need to do is look inside, connect with and expand the vibration which we seek? Why not BE love and let love find YOU?!

Do you love yourself unconditionally? Do you even like yourself? If not, you may be looking for love in all the wrong places! Why is it so challenging to love ourselves? Why is it that so many times we don’t feel loved if we are not “in love” or loved by another person? It is not until you awaken your own love vibration inside and begin loving yourself that you will be able to experience true love.

Love begins within!

How can you even begin to love another or expect them to love you if you don’t love or even like yourself? Those judgements you hold against yourself cause you to unconsciously push others away. Of course there are always those things we want to work on to be better people. There are also those things we can work on to change our appearances but what if “body image” is not your real body but how you picture or see yourself? What if those places or things you don’t love about yourself are because you don’t see yourself as the bright. beautiful spirit you really are? Is it possible for you to love ALL of you, without judgement, warts and all?

There are great pressures in society today and it’s easy to forget that within you lies a treasure trove of love. You ARE love and it is only that you’ve gotten away from seeing yourself as you truly are. Your internal struggles show on the outside and those very internal struggles have often developed as a habit or you doubt your true nature because of judgement from others. It is only after you start to accept your humanity, forgive your mistakes and embrace the feeling that you are worthy of love that things will change for you. Did you know that the thing you seek most from outside world is the thing you have the most of inside? It’s true!

All those things that you resist or cannot accept or judge about yourself are resisted, not accepted or judged by others. Have you noticed any “patterns” or things that keep happening over and over in your life with regards to love? Patterns are the universes way of informing you that perhaps you haven’t learned the lesson or cleared the energy yet! But guess what? You can change those patterns, clear the judgement and resistance and love (and even like) yourself! For the most part it’s clearing those places you judge and resist.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”~Rumi

What barriers have you built against love? What unconscious walls have you built that stop you from seeing and experiencing your true and highest vibration of love? Loving yourself is not selfish nor is it ego based. When you find your natural love vibration it isn’t necessary to seek validation or push it on others. It will be seen and felt by others in your presence. Love shines through and touches everything you do. It oozes forth in the words that you speak and flows into your creations.

Perhaps it’s time you stop looking outside yourself? Take down the barriers! Love transforms you in a moment. Find yourself and you will find love. Experience being in the flow of love and love yourself. Connect with your spirit and divinity without resistance or judgement.Forgive yourself. Find a state of grace. Connect with yourself and see yourself as the love you are and BE your highest vibration of love!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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“Self sabotage, the act of undermining your own wellness, happiness, and success, whether conscious or not, is you taking on the role of punisher, abuser, or bully…against yourself.”~Stephanie Quilao

Have you ever said something and regretted it merely seconds after it came out of your mouth? Have you found yourself really close to successfully attaining a long awaited goal then doing something to negate everything you’ve done to get there? Are you angry about decisions made in the past but not changing those decisions to reflect who you are now? Are amazing things happening in your life but your focus is on all that’s NOT happening? If so, you may be a victim of self sabotage!

I recently experienced all the above on my birthday….

The day before (and on) my birthday I started receiving birthday wishes and love from friends and clients all over the world. I was delighted beyond words to read every single private message, post, text, and email in addition to the phone calls. My heart was filled with happiness and as one friend put it I was having a “global birthday party”! I was surrounded by a beautifully woven blanket of love and felt the energy in every fiber of my being when suddenly my thoughts turned to those who I WANTED to get messages from but didn’t. I started to get angry that I was always there for them yet they couldn’t take the time to say happy birthday.

For a moment the hundreds of loving messages were negated by simply NOT hearing from two people. I quickly realized that the actions, or in this case inactions, of others controlled what I was having! I quickly let go of those thoughts and got my space back but questions still remained; How many times did I push away love or friendship because of some crazy thought that if it wasn’t from this one or that one that I wasn’t loved? How many times have I lowered my having-ness to match those who couldn’t have ME. (Self sabotage!) It was only a moment but I thank God for awareness and finally being able to see it!

Once I saw this I was able to return to my ‘happy space’ and went off to my party. I decided that those who showed up were the ones who were supposed to be there and I couldn’t wait to celebrate! The surprises kept coming! A dear friend who I wasn’t expecting showed up and I received a text from a lovely man who, when he found out it was my birthday, dropped everything to drive (over an hour) into the city and come to my party. I was seriously bursting with joy! Then it happened again… In all my joy, overwhelmed with love, I started joking around and said something that was rude, insensitive and judgemental.

Although it was not my intention to invalidate something that means a lot to someone I lost my space and did just that. I immediately tried to ‘fix’ what I had said but the more I tried the deeper the hole became. I am blessed to have forgiving, loving people in my life including the person whom I inadvertently, unintentionally and uncharacteristically spoke less than nice words to. In retrospect I couldn’t “have” what was being openly offered and allowed an energy to come through me. How many times had I done this before? Why would I say or be that way? In my human-ness I allowed fear and judgement to seep into my words for no reason at all other than I had lost my space and could not HAVE all the love that surrounded me.

Self sabotage comes in many forms. I see it happening with friends, members in my Weight Watchers® meetings, my clients and myself. What leads to any sort of self sabotage is a lack of having-ness (the ability to embrace and have something) and/or not being able to clear an energy or picture you are holding on to from the past. When you lose your space to an energy or picture all kinds of things come through including judgement, pushing people away or sabotaging your success because you can’t have it. How many times have you said or done something and afterwards wondered why? Instead of asking ‘why’ go within to find the underlying cause. It’s a good bet you’ll find the answer and it may not be what you think!

Although I spent the week beating myself up for being less than compassionate in a mere few sentences I realized that what happened was a blessing in disguise. It showed me I still have a lot to work on this lifetime. It showed me that I’m not only human but I’m perfectly perfect in my IMperfection. It also illuminated those places where I was stuck in a judgement picture and lacking having-ness.

Everything we do or say has an impact on our growth. Be aware of the areas you are sabotaging yourself whether it be a job change, your relationships or your dreams. If you are no longer in alignment with the choices you’ve made in the past which affect you today, it’s perfectly OK to change course, heal and open your eyes to those places where you have gotten in your own way. Stop the madness of self sabotage! Awaken, let go, embrace and raise your having-ness for a beautiful life! If you can have it, the sky’s the limit!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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