“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.“~J. Michael Straczynski
Are you blaming someone or something for your current experience? Of course it’s THEIR fault! It’s the economy, family, your boyfriend or girlfriend, how you were brought up.. .who did it TO you. These are just a few of the “outer” situations or people we tend to “blame” when things become challenging in our lives. The problem is blame will never get you anywhere. Blame means a part of your valuable energy is stuck and holding on to the past. Blame means not taking responsibility for any part of the situation. It also takes forgiveness and healing out of the picture.
Blame is a way of rationalizing and making sense of chaos. It is far easier to blame others than to look inside and take responsibility for our part. The moment we stop blaming and start forgiving is the moment we start healing and moving on with our lives.
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”~Robert Anthony
In order to heal, create change, and move on with our lives we must take responsibility for our part. Now, I hear you saying you had no part in the creation of the problem (challenge or situation). I may not be very popular the moment I say you ALWAYS play a part in it but it IS the truth. Maybe you were (are) afraid. Maybe you were (are) not fully aware of your impact on the situation. Maybe you saw, heard or felt something through your filters.
Blaming others is not the answer. Blaming yourself is not the answer. These are never the answers because blame holds on to the past. The longer you “blame” the more the past gets embellished and the more energy you have caught up in a past that is no longer truth but an illusion.
Your true power lies in the ability to forgive others for their part and forgive yourself for your part. It may mean you have to forgive yourself for zigging when you should have zagged. It may mean you must forgive yourself for something you did or said in the past. It may mean you have to forgive someone who deeply hurt you. It may mean you must forgive yourself for being afraid or in resistance.
Regardless of what you find yourself forgiving, you’ll know immediately when you are free because it will feel like a weigh is lifted off your shoulders. You are able to look at the situation or other person without anger, fear or blame and you begin creating things and moving forward again.
“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”~Erica Jong
It’s interesting to note the word “blame”. As written it looks like B Lame or more to the point B (eing) Lame. It takes a strong and courageous person to end the blame game and take their life into their own hands. It takes a strong and courageous person to forgive. One of the bravest things you can do is look in the mirror, accept you played some part and forgive yourself. Look in the mirror! Be brave! FORGIVE!~Shine Your Light Debbie
©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved
One thought on “Stop Blaming. Start Forgiving and Healing”
Reblogged this on Shelley Hallmark and commented:
Excellent Post from Daily Muse ( Debra Taitel ) – Such great insight and wisdom!