AWARENESS – Page 48

Are you a people pleaser? Are you always in giving and healing others mode? Are you inclined to say YES every time someone asks you for a favor or to do something for them? Do you take time for yourself or are you always responding to other people’s needs and wants? Do you give away your valuable time and services because you can’t say NO? If so, you are a healer and it might be time to explore the Tao of NO!

A friend recently told me he was in a “receptive NO mode” and frankly I completely understand what he is saying. For the most part I do believe most of us are givers. We take on and solve problems for our friends, family, bosses, clients and customers. No one likes conflict and so in the essence of keeping the peace and helping we try to make everyone happy.

In business there are times we give away our services to those perhaps less fortunate and on a personal level it feels pretty good to help or give advice to a friend. We do this out of love and/or because we strive to be responsible for our own actions and enjoy giving. There is nothing wrong with doing any of those things BUT if you lose yourself in the process, there is nothing loving, giving or valiant about it!

In fact when you give or give away your most valuable resource (ie your energy) because you can’t say NO you are training people to continue asking for more. In essence you allow them to become senior (more important) in your space and eventually whatever has become senior will take its toll. It might be that your work life is thriving but your relationships suffer. It could be that your caring for others affects your health and well-being or leaves you with little time for yourself. It is possible that you are struggling financially yet someone else needs your product or services and can’t afford to pay you so you give it away to help them out.

The Tao is the flow of the universe

It is the “pattern behind the natural world that keeps the universe balanced and ordered.” (via Wikipedia) Always saying YES is an ‘absolute’ which creates an imbalance and takes you out of your flow. Keep in mind this is about YOU taking care of YOU and your needs. It’s about re-establishing balance and creating boundaries by connecting with your inner NO!

It IS ok to say no!

Do you give yourself permission to say no? I promise your life will not spontaneously combust if you say it every now and again. 🙂 What I loved about my friends comment about being in a receptive NO mode is that he is taking back his seniority and no longer allowing others to TAKE his time and energy. He is receptive to what is asked of him yet at the same time he is realizing how important it is to take care of himself by occasionally saying no. He is choosing to give instead of always being at the ‘beck and call’ of others.

Check in with yourself and evaluate who or what has become senior to you. You have a right to take time for and care for yourself. You have a right to make a living but be sure to include having a life. Givers and healers you have a right to create boundaries. This is what balance is all about and sometimes saying NO frees up your time and energy so you can be in your flow and say YES to YOU and the things that are important to you!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Seatofthesoul — Photo courtesy of Kate Janes ©All Rights Reserved

Entertain for a moment that you are sitting in a comfy chair and looking through a window. What you see on the other side of the window is your life. A glimpse, if you will, into the physical aspects. This is one time it’s OK to be a “voyeur” and do a little self stalking 🙂 As you watch the scene before you also take notice of the inside details and the window itself.

Perhaps the window frame is beautiful with lovely curtains. There is comfort from your easy chair and it feels good to be right where you are. Consider for a moment this is the seat of your soul and this is you BEing. What you see on the outside is life as you have created it. What do you see? Is it bright with gardens growing different types of flowers? Or is it rainy and muddy? Are there rolling green pastures teaming with life? Or is it black & white lacking color and vibrancy?

As you watch yourself through the window notice your emotions. Notice if you are merely working to make a living or living to do what you love. Do you see passion, love and enthusiasm filling each moment? Or do you immediately want to close the blinds and not look at all? Closing the blinds not wanting to see is common. The world outside especially with the current state of affairs may not be something you’d like to look at but in reality this is your life and how you’ve created it with your choices and reactions to outside influences.

Many times people don’t want to take responsiblity for what’s going on in their lives and yet at some level, it was created by them. They have left the comfort of their easy chair to go outside and have forgotten how beautiful it is inside. Some have forgotten, in a sense, that they have the choice to navigate life from an easy chair, and to be in agreement or alignment with what is created.

What do you see when you look out your window? Do you like what you see? Is it full of joyful enthusiasm and zest for life? Does the outside match YOUR inside? Do you find yourself REACTING to energy or are you GENERATING your own? When you are in alignment with who you are and generating your own energy you create your life based on what YOU want.

It’s not that there will never be stormy days and times you won’t want to shut the blinds tightly. You can’t control the weather or the actions of others but you certainly can choose to react in alignment with your dreams and vision of how you want life to be. When it’s stormy you can choose to see beams of sunlight behind the clouds to find the bright spot in the storm and when the storm has passed you might even see a rainbow!

If you have gone outside put your umbrella away and come back INSIDE! Take a seat and notice how beautiful, safe and comfortable it is inside. Align yourself with what’s inside then look outside your window and see what you see. Find the sunbeams playfully hiding behind the clouds. See life clearly and if you don’t like what you see, picture it how you want it to be and watch it change like magic! 🙂 ~Shine Your Light Debbie

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