Speak kindly to yourself

Words Matter!

Speak kindly to yourself“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”~Buddha

Do you choose words with care when speaking to others? If so, do you choose the same when speaking to yourself? Have you ever noticed how the words we use towards ourselves influence our path and direction? Are we punishing and hurting ourselves?

There are indeed times when it is not what’s going on in the world or how others speak to us that hurts but how we speak to ourselves. Those words in our heads that invalidate and keep us in effort or on a quest for perfection. The words and thoughts that come up about how we feel about ourselves.

“What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.”~Mark Twain

Our inner dialogues are those things we tell ourselves which shape our entire relationship with the world. When a child is bullied or called stupid or we see someone berated in public we rally in disgust and outrage yet are we using those very same punishing and hurtful words against ourselves? When was the last time you looked in the mirror without criticizing something? When was the last time you told yourself “great job” and held your head high and proud? When was the last time you said “I love you” to yourself?

The words we speak not only matter when speaking to others. Words matter when we speak to ourselves. It really doesn’t, matter if we speak those words out loud. It is the dialogue in our heads, our thoughts, that affect our actions and how we perceive or are perceived by the world. When we use punishing words against ourselves we are not in a space of compassion, love and forgiveness.

“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.”~Swami Vivekananda 

Just as we listen to others, it’s time to listen to what we are saying to ourselves. Remember the old adage ‘engage brain before putting mouth in gear’? How about ‘think before you speak’? We carefully choose the words we say to others. It’s time we carefully choose the words we use toward ourselves.

As human beings we will make mistakes and occasionally say or do unkind things even though it was not intended. It is precisely those times we must learn to forgive and love ourselves again. Have a little compassion for your own human condition. We are all human. We all make mistakes and more importantly we are all learning.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”~Buddha

I don’t suppose any of us can effectively stop those negative thoughts against ourselves but we can certainly pay attention and nip them in the proverbial bud before we become them. Never underestimate how thoughts and words affect and influence your life. Speak to yourself kindly with compassion, forgiveness and love.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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The Truth Always Comes to Light…

truth“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”~Buddha

Have you ever found yourself trying to “figure out” or investigate something that didn’t feel right? Has someone lied or withheld information from you and you set your feet upon a path of “finding” the truth?

How many times has your energy and attention been outside of you looking to find the truth or an explanation of what’s happening? Personally I’ve done this throughout my life and the funny thing is that the moment I stop looking outside of myself and stand in my truth, the truth always seems to find me.

If you are looking “outside” of yourself for the truth you are not open to the truth that is already inside of you. You know there is an untruth (or withholding) in play because something doesn’t feel right at some level. When this happens do you leave your space to go out and find the answer? Does your wilful blindness come into play? In other words the truth is there but you choose not to see it, hear it or believe it. Sometimes we ignore “truth” because we are moving along in our own self propagated bliss and we shut off our intuition.

There’s a famous movie line which states ‘you can’t handle the truth’. It’s not that you can’t handle the truth it’s the “facts” you might have a challenge accepting. You can handle truth but may not really want to see and acknowledge the facts. Let me assure you that you can handle any truth that comes your way because the energy of truth is pure. Initially knowing and accepting the facts might hurt but in the end it feels right and you know it’s right because, well, it’s the truth.

“In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for
the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.”~Buddha 

In controversy we strive to be right and righteous. In matters of relationships we strive to be right and righteous and we do whatever it takes to BE right even if it means not facing the facts at hand or seeing the reality of what’s going on. The same can be said for withholding of information. The energy of withholding feels much the same as the energy of lies.

Either way when  “red flags” are triggered there is an imbalance  of energy which in turn triggers the ego mind and activates the blame game. What if you simply noticed the energy of withholding or lies and could stand in your truth and by doing so allow the facts to come to you? Lies and withholding are “controls” to keep you from making your own decision about something. There is no freedom for either party.

“Truth is by nature self-evident. As soon as you remove the cobwebs
of ignorance that surround it, it shines clear.”

~Mahatma Gandhi

Clearing cobwebs of illusion means looking at the the facts. All of us at one point or another have closed our eyes to a truth that is right in front of us. We have bought the “picture” that was handed to us. The choice belongs to each of us and the answer is usually right in front of our eyes if we choose to see beyond the illusion. Those who feel stuck are really in resistance to the seeing truth of what needs to be released so they can move forward again. The reality is when you seek out truth and clear the illusion, clarity brings more clarity, truth brings more truth and at that point you have the choice to release what’s been keeping you stuck.

When you stand in YOUR truth, the truth finds YOU!

If you are looking for truth,  as Dorothy says in the Wizard of Oz “ you don’t have to look any further than your own back yard.” There’s truly no place like home. Standing in your truth doesn’t make you right and someone else wrong. It simply means you are standing in your truth, with awareness. It means following your intuition and your heart. If you are looking for truth, set your crown chakra to vibrate at truth. Stand grounded in your space. The truth will come out. The truth will find you…. it always does.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2013 All Rights Reserved

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