Energy Vampires are no Treat; Here are some Tricks to deal with them

There are some people in this world who suck the life right out of you! You know the ones I’m talking about. The energy vampires! These are the “friends”, colleagues or family members who demand your attention and don’t respect your time, energy or space. They test your patience, tax your last nerve and  leave you drained and exhausted when you’re around them. Energy vampires are very real and once they’ve gotten their fangs into you it is not only exhausting but the encounter can literally haunt you for days, months or in some cases even years!

Energy vampires don’t always know they are sucking the life out of you. They walk around like zombies full of negativity, drama and pain which they pass around until someone (who is usually trying to help them) becomes the dumping ground. The more you try to help by giving them advice, giving them your valuable time & energy and  giving them a forum to vent, the more you give away. That’s a lot of giving! Not to sound like Dr. Phil but what are you receiving from this relationship?

Yes, there are energy vampires out there but it is beneficial to look at your part in the relationship. What generally happens is you’ve given them permission to do this. You’ve given up your space to them. You are healing them and allowing solving their problems and their life process to become more important than your own. When dealing with energy vampires as well as being exhausted, you are probably thinking about them and how to ‘help’ but you can’t solve someone else’s problems or take on their pain. Knowingly, why would you want to? It’s fine to want to help someone but if they can’t “have” the help you are giving and don’t take steps to heal themselves you might want to re-evaluate your relationship with them.

At some point after they’ve sucked the life out of you time and time again your awareness will kick in and you get angry. The funny (not haha funny) thing about an energy vampire is they’ve learned to do what they do much like Armand taught Lestat how to be a vampire in Anne Rice’s Vampire chronicles. If you continue to allow them to suck you dry, you have taught them it’s OK to do so. When dealing with energy vampires you will notice that most everything in the vampire’s life including friends, family and work relationships involve some sort of drama and if it’s not their personal drama they are probably complaining, blaming others or gossiping about someone else.

One reason you get sucked in to someone else’s drama is because you are sensitive to others pain because you’ve experienced it in one form or another. You’ll notice that you are most vulnerable when you are happy. It is said that misery loves company and energy vampires tend to bring you down to their level if you allow it. It should be mentioned that dealing with energy vampires is not easy. If you are highly sensitive, have health issues and/or challenges of your own it is best to care for yourself first and you might have to end the relationship with your vampire friend. It’s never easy to sever a relationship of any kind but sometimes it must be done for your own health and well-being.

Here are a few things to do when there’s an energy vampire on the loose:

  1. Forgive yourself! This is important. You were in a sense ‘sucked in’ to the negative vortex. Now that you recognize what’s happening you can effectively take your course of action.
  2. Forgive them and clear the resistance! Forgiveness is a powerful way to clear energy. Energy vampires have probably been sucking people dry for a very long time and don’t realize it. Forgiving doesn’t mean allowing them to do it. It means forgiving them and sending them on their way.
  3. Set boundaries and own your space! Do this from a non-effort, neutral place. Owning your space is the best way to set boundaries.
  4. Value your loving nature, time & energy! What you have to give has value. Your time & energy has value. Think of it as if it were money. How much would you give to others at the cost of your own needs?
  5. Cut the cords and raise your vibration! If necessary, you may need to end the relationship. No one can take your energy or drag you down without your permission at some level. I know that’s hard to hear but it really is up to you.

It is your right and within your power to say no and stop the energy vampire dead in their tracks! Call back your energy from the takers! Your happy life blood is yours to infuse into YOUR life! Help those who can receive your gifts and move on from those who suck you dry!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel  2011-2013 All rights reserved

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Hope Springs Eternal! Don’t EVER Give Up!

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never Is, but always To be blest:The soul, uneasy and confin’d from home, Rests and expatiates in a life to come.”~ Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man

Recently I was asked “how does one find hope?”. This is a really great question because for me hope is one of those things that comes and goes. There are days I’m hopeful and days I feel like giving up. Not everyone is hopeful all the time. In reflecting and meditating on the question to offer an intelligent answer I realized that hope is born from  joy and present time. Hope is  thinking positive and knowing you have options!

Hope is about Having Options!

Certainly there is no hope if you fear you have no options.  There are always options! With your energy in the present you open doors and allow spirit to show you those options. If you have no hope or feel like you’ve lost all hope, what happened is at some point you gave up or gave in to your situation. Your attention and energy was on the challenge not the solution! If you choose to believe there is nothing more and you can’t move forward you have certainly prophesied your future. The energy of hope gives you the strength to open your mind, think outside of the box and try different things. If you have exhausted all options due to disease or chronic pain you still have the option to live your life to its fullest by finding things that bring joy to your heart and give you hope. The reason I mentioned there are always options is because in the world today new solutions to health issues are discovered and uncovered every day. Don’t ever give up hope that a new option might very well come your way!

Abandon Hope?

One of my spiritual teachers always used to say “abandon hope”. He always laughed when he said it. I always understood that to mean “give it up”. Not GIVE UP but give IT up. In other  words let it go. Focusing solely on hope and not letting it go keeps you stuck in the hope and not open to receiving the answer by allowing it to come to you. What if hope is the means to actualize the answer? Hope can shift your energy from deep despair to hopeful optimism. Find just one little shred hope, shift your energy then open yourself up to receiving. You never know when the thing that’s right for you will find its way to you. It might be just around the corner so don’t ever give up!

Hope Springs Eternal in the Present

Hope flows within you like a clear, crisp mountain stream and all you need do is drink from its waters to revitalize yourself. Hope gives you the strength to move forward and do what you need to do. Without hope you lie stagnant, in despair and isolated in pain. When there is lack of hope you will notice your energy is caught up in past events or worrying about a future which may never come to pass. How many times have you been so caught up in past or future events that when you finally come to the present you have to ask “where did the time go?”.  It’s interesting to note that when you wake up you notice how much energy you expended and where it felt like there was NO solution you find MANY solutions and options!

Allow hope to act like a free-flowing mountain stream. Giving up is building a dam to stop the waters. As in the picture on this post mountain waters flow around the rocks and those same rocks will eventually be smoothed out and worn down by the strong flow of water. Hope gives you strength in the present. Finding hope is not always easy but if your energy is in the present and you find just ONE thing that brings you joy, hope is ignited and the flame will burning brightly to light up many options which in turn bring you more hope! Here’s to a new day full of HOPE!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2010-2013 All Rights Reserved

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