Healing those who don’t want it….

Healing others is a natural ability and something you may have done your whole life. Perhaps you have recently found a technique that not only helps you heal yourself but others as well. VOILA! you’ve found THE answer you’ve been looking for!

You can heal yourself AND someone else! You feel great and want to share what you’ve learned and shed light wherever and whenever because it feels good to help and you CAN! You can’t even imagine why someone wouldn’t want to heal. After all it’s simple, easy and you definitely have the ability to help. Of course, why wouldn’t you want to share and heal those closest to you?

So there you are, shining your light and healing yourself. A friend comes along and is sad, working through a problem, is depressed, sick or even merrily on their way but you can see, sense and feel something’s not right. You are so enthusiastic about healing, that you jump in with both feet. You’re going to help them! It could be an energy healing, reading or just sending out all the light and love you can. Whatever you use you’re going to make them feel better using your healing ability!

This is very noble…it’s also called being a friend 🙂 However, before you jumped in, did you ask if them if they wanted the healing? Did you “read” them without permission? I can tell you from personal experience that when you are a healer and do what comes naturally to you it may not always be welcome.When you ‘come to the rescue’  particularly in matters of the heart, without permission you can get punished on an energetic level. The person will go into resistance, put a wall up and run for the hills.

A very dear friend of mine wrote me the perfect metaphor for describing what happens. If you are an out of control healer like I can sometimes be, I think you’ll find a great deal of information in what he wrote! 🙂

“You know how if you’re in a dark place, and someone turns on a light when they’re not expecting or wanting it, and they feel blinded? And they need the light turned off NOW because their eyes haven’t adjusted yet? Well I think there’s an analogy to be made when it comes to matters of the heart.  Sometimes you need to give people time for their hearts to adjust. Sometimes it’s better to knock on the door and open it sloooowwwwly, letting little bits of light in at a time. You may know they’re better off with lots of light, but that’s not always the point. They might need time to acclimate.  And you might need to ask why they were in the dark. That might give you lots of information about how to give them light.”~SBS (reprinted with permission)

Each person knows whats best for their own healing and heals in their own time.  In fact, as pointed out to me, you can get so attached to the outcome of the healing that you forget there is a very sensitive human being going through something that may be very painful to shed light on all at once.

Shine your light from within and heal yourself. Allow others to come to you to bathe in your light when THEY are ready.  Be a good friend and not only listen, but hear what someone is telling you. They may have a very good reason they want and need to go slooooowwwwly. 🙂 ~Shine your light~ Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2010-2011 All rights reserved

SpiritLightInsight.com

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The Tao of NO!

Are you a people pleaser? Are you always in giving and healing others mode? Are you inclined to say YES every time someone asks you for a favor or to do something for them? Do you take time for yourself or are you always responding to other people’s needs and wants? Do you give away your valuable time and services because you can’t say NO? If so, you are a healer and it might be time to explore the Tao of NO!

A friend recently told me he was in a “receptive NO mode” and frankly I completely understand what he is saying. For the most part I do believe most of us are givers. We take on and solve problems for our friends, family, bosses, clients and customers. No one likes conflict and so in the essence of keeping the peace and helping we try to make everyone happy.

In business there are times we give away our services to those perhaps less fortunate and on a personal level it feels pretty good to help or give advice to a friend. We do this out of love and/or because we strive to be responsible for our own actions and enjoy giving. There is nothing wrong with doing any of those things BUT if you lose yourself in the process, there is nothing loving, giving or valiant about it!

In fact when you give or give away your most valuable resource (ie your energy) because you can’t say NO you are training people to continue asking for more. In essence you allow them to become senior (more important) in your space and eventually whatever has become senior will take its toll. It might be that your work life is thriving but your relationships suffer. It could be that your caring for others affects your health and well-being or leaves you with little time for yourself. It is possible that you are struggling financially yet someone else needs your product or services and can’t afford to pay you so you give it away to help them out.

The Tao is the flow of the universe

It is the “pattern behind the natural world that keeps the universe balanced and ordered.” (via Wikipedia)  Always saying YES is an ‘absolute’ which creates an imbalance and takes you out of your flow. Keep in mind this is about YOU taking care of YOU and your needs. It’s about re-establishing balance and creating boundaries by connecting with your inner NO!

It IS ok to say no!

Do you give yourself permission to say no? I promise your life will not spontaneously combust if you say it every now and again. 🙂 What I loved about my friends comment about being in a receptive NO mode is that he is taking back his seniority and no longer allowing others to TAKE his time and energy. He is receptive to what is asked of him yet at the same time he is realizing how important it is to take care of himself by occasionally saying no. He is choosing to give instead of always being at the ‘beck and call’ of others.

Check in with yourself and evaluate who or what has become senior to you. You have a right to take time for and care for yourself. You have a right to make a living but be sure to include having a life. Givers and healers you have a right to create boundaries. This is what balance is all about and sometimes saying NO frees up your time and energy so you can be in your flow and say YES to YOU and the things that are important to you!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2011-2013 All rights reserved

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