Learning to Trust Yourself….

Pinkpetals© Joao Estevao Andrade De Freitas  Dreamstime Stock PhotosTrust yourself, you know more than you think you do.”~Benjamin Spock

Trust yourself and what you see, know and feel is true because there is no one who knows what’s best for you better than YOU!

From a young age we are taught that our parents know what’s best for us and, for the most part, at a young age this is true. In addition to our parents we have teachers and mentors whose principal role is to teach us how (and sometimes “what”) to think. At some point we must come to the realization that our parents, teachers and mentors were/are there to GUIDE us, not make decisions for us.

Why don’t we trust ourselves?

Why don’t we trust ourselves? The answer is simple, we made and continue to make mistakes. There’s that thing we did or said that went horribly, horribly wrong (or was perceived it went wrong) and before we move forward and possibly make another mistake, we look to another for THEIR answer. Isn’t it amusing that we trust other people and seek out their opinion about what’s best for us more than we trust ourselves.

It is far easier to take someone’s advice and not follow our hearts and intuition. After all, if we are wrong or make a mistake based on someone else’s advice there is someone to blame. When we fully trust in ourselves and our decisions we must then own up to and take responsibility for our choices.

There is another piece of the puzzle that we sometimes miss. Did we REALLY make a mistake or did things not turn out the way we thought they would? What if the perceived “mistake” wasn’t a mistake at all? What if those mistakes were really things that turned out unexpectedly right but we just couldn’t see the purpose at the time? We still may not see the purpose but in time, we will come to see the mistake was not really a mistake after all.

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”~Golda Meir

At some point it’s time to trust yourself. You really do know more than you think you do. This is not to say you shouldn’t seek another’s council to help GUIDE you. The operative word being GUIDE. It is always beneficial to seek someone who may have a different perspective or a solution you haven’t yet discovered but in the end the choice is always yours and yours alone.

The more you trust your instincts, intuition and your knowing-ness the more certain you become.  The more you trust what you see and feel the more certain you become. The more you trust your decisions, the more certain you become. Trusting yourself is about “becoming” and believing in yourself. It is about strength, courage, truth and certainty.

There are infinite “inner sparks of possibility” that when fanned to burst into flames of inspiration. Learning to trust yourself means you may take a risk. You may find yourself vulnerable. You may find courage. You may create a masterpiece, and you may, you just may, find happiness, love and transform your journey and your life. Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2014 All rights reserved

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The Power of Love to Heal Your Heart: Artist Date 64 Not Too Much

Exploring Love and the 4th chakra  is not an easy or particularly comfortable task but it is well worth the journey! I recently taught a psychic meditation workshop on that very subject and was honored not just with email of thank you but a blog post sharing the profound experience one woman had. 

My friend Lesley had never before attended one of my workshops however she has had several readings from me. I have no words to describe how honored, humbled and touched I am that she shared her experience on her blog and has graciously allowed me to share it with you. Please enjoy this guest post by Lesley Pearl.

“Artist Date: 64 Not Too Much”

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“I do not do yoga.

As a massage therapist, I know it is kind of part of the gig.  But I can’t.

It freaks me out.  Holding poses for an extended period makes me panic.  Whether I am in a big anonymous class or in a tiny studio with just three other students and the most gentle instructor imaginable, it is always the same.  Open heart.  Teary eyes.  And a small voice crying out in the silence, “Are we done yet?  Are we done yet?”  I ignore her and…panic.  More tears.

People tell me this is good.  That it means I should do more yoga.  That I am working something out.  I ignore them and make a mental note never to discuss this topic.

Until now.  In a yoga studio.  Artist Date 64.

My friend, and clairvoyant genius, Debbie Taitel, is conducting a post-Valentine’s exploration of the 4th Chakra, the energy center of the heart.

I think I am safe because it is a meditation workshop and not yoga.  And I meditate.  I have for 12 years.

But I am wrong.  The panic is there almost immediately.  Stifling.

Debbie first mentioned the workshop to me a couple of weeks ago, during one of our clairvoyant sessions.  As I watched my heart tentatively open to hope and the possibility of love for the first time in what seemed like a very long time – for an almost bachelor, a man from my childhood, living nearly 700 miles away.(Artist Date 62)

Last week I told him I “couldn’t do it.”  (Artist Date 63) Whatever “it” was.  Seemingly falling head over heels over head for one another.  He asked how realistic it was.  I didn’t care.  I wanted to find out about us.  He said he did too.  But when I sensed his wavering, come-here-go-away, and when the excitement in my stomach turned into a knot, I said “no.”  And we somewhat sadly settled on friendship.  At least for now.

I thought that with this grand gesture of self-love and adult decision-making, my feelings would go away.  I was mistaken.

He has been dancing in my head for a good portion of the day and I am surprised.

So it is a relief when Debbie asks us to invite anyone “grounding” through us to please leave for the duration of the workshop.  I ask, but he remains.  Or I keep him near.  I am not certain.  It is the pink elephant in the room I have been told to pay no attention to.

I am embarrassed.  Ashamed.  I assume the shift is easy for him.  But I do not know this.

I am consumed by the thought that I do not want to write about this.  Especially as he regularly reads my blog.  I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.  I want to run.  Just like in yoga.

Debbie asks us to ground ourselves and I see a climber’s rope shoot out from my 1st Chakra into the earth, its metal claws digging into clay and dirt.  Debbie saw me do this once before – during one of our sessions.  She found it clever.  A good way to shake off the too many grounding through me.

But today it feels unstable.  I want an oak tree growing out of my ass, downward into the earth.   But this is what I have.

(c) 2004. Andrew Hall, PortlandBridges.com

She asks us to create roses in our mind.  To fill them with past hurts.  Unrequited loves.  Loves we either did not or could not return.  And to destroy them.

I see the International Rose Test Garden in Portland.  My ex and I visited here one winter when he was interviewing for jobs.  The bushes are clipped.  Dead.

My eyes get teary and my nose flares.  I feel like I am on the verge of big, heaving sobs.  I see my ex husband.  My mother.  My father.  The first boy I took my clothes off with.

I see my first real boyfriend.  And J – perhaps the love of my life, me with a dick.  Mr. 700 Miles.

I feel Debbie lay a box of tissues on my thigh.  I am afraid to move.  That I will come totally unglued if I do and land on the floor, a throbbing puddle.  I feel white energy leave through my heart and it is over.

I destroy the rose, stripping it naked, petal by petal, while those around me engage in more violent scenarios – skeet shooting or blowing them up.

In the final meditation, safely shrouded in golden light, I loop my own energy over and over through my 4th Chakra, my heart.  I feel nauseated.  A wave slams into my gut and through me.  If I were standing it would knock me over.

Debbie smiles.  This is the energy I put into the universe, she explains.  The kind that makes people “run for the hills.”  I nod, as do most of those around me.  It is the love energy, meant for me, mistakenly turned out and overwhelming others.

I think about the old idea I still carry around sometimes, that I am “too much.”   It is quickly displaced by the realization that I no longer feel like running.  Not from here.  This place or this pose.

Not from this love.  Not from myself.

Not too much.”

No Lesley you are not “too much”. You thanked me for “holding space for your heart” and my reply can only be… it was an honor!~Shine Your Light Debbie

Lesley Pearl is a writer, bodyworker, and weight-loss coach living in Chicago. Her blog “The Wandering Jewess”, chronicles ‘life after marriage’ in a series of weekly solo dates. She is currently working on her first book titled “Left. Write.

©Debra Taitel 2014 All Rights Reserved

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