SPIRITUAL – Page 4

Are you a people pleaser? Are you always in giving and healing others mode? Are you inclined to say YES every time someone asks you for a favor or to do something for them? Do you take time for yourself or are you always responding to other people’s needs and wants? Do you give away your valuable time and services because you can’t say NO? If so, you are a healer and it might be time to explore the Tao of NO!

A friend recently told me he was in a “receptive NO mode” and frankly I completely understand what he is saying. For the most part I do believe most of us are givers. We take on and solve problems for our friends, family, bosses, clients and customers. No one likes conflict and so in the essence of keeping the peace and helping we try to make everyone happy.

In business there are times we give away our services to those perhaps less fortunate and on a personal level it feels pretty good to help or give advice to a friend. We do this out of love and/or because we strive to be responsible for our own actions and enjoy giving. There is nothing wrong with doing any of those things BUT if you lose yourself in the process, there is nothing loving, giving or valiant about it!

In fact when you give or give away your most valuable resource (ie your energy) because you can’t say NO you are training people to continue asking for more. In essence you allow them to become senior (more important) in your space and eventually whatever has become senior will take its toll. It might be that your work life is thriving but your relationships suffer. It could be that your caring for others affects your health and well-being or leaves you with little time for yourself. It is possible that you are struggling financially yet someone else needs your product or services and can’t afford to pay you so you give it away to help them out.

The Tao is the flow of the universe

It is the “pattern behind the natural world that keeps the universe balanced and ordered.” (via Wikipedia) Always saying YES is an ‘absolute’ which creates an imbalance and takes you out of your flow. Keep in mind this is about YOU taking care of YOU and your needs. It’s about re-establishing balance and creating boundaries by connecting with your inner NO!

It IS ok to say no!

Do you give yourself permission to say no? I promise your life will not spontaneously combust if you say it every now and again. 🙂 What I loved about my friends comment about being in a receptive NO mode is that he is taking back his seniority and no longer allowing others to TAKE his time and energy. He is receptive to what is asked of him yet at the same time he is realizing how important it is to take care of himself by occasionally saying no. He is choosing to give instead of always being at the ‘beck and call’ of others.

Check in with yourself and evaluate who or what has become senior to you. You have a right to take time for and care for yourself. You have a right to make a living but be sure to include having a life. Givers and healers you have a right to create boundaries. This is what balance is all about and sometimes saying NO frees up your time and energy so you can be in your flow and say YES to YOU and the things that are important to you!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely
players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”~William Shakespeare As You Like It

Let’s face it, life can be full of DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. Personal drama, someone else’s drama and the drama that takes on a life of its own when you inadvertently get in the middle of someone else’s. The Shakespeare quote is a great way to describe the leading role you play in your life in all its different stages. Now the question becomes is there drama in your life? Do you enjoy it? Is it a comedy or tragedy? If your life is full of drama and you’re not enjoying it maybe it’s time to exit stage left and then Enter Laughing!

There are people whose lives are full of chaos and drama. You may know some of these people or notice it in your own life. At times you may find yourself drawn into a drama wondering how you got there in the first place. Perhaps you wanted to help a friend or found yourself vulnerable because you are a giver and healer. It may even be that you have a flair for the dramatic and it adds a bit of excitement to your life.

Drama is different from life challenges. Everyone has challenges. They are a part of life. Drama occurs depending on HOW you react, what you do and how you handle those challenges. On a daily basis you can simply turn on the news to see the diverse reactions to catastrophic events. You see interviews where some go into drama, others do not. Drama is full of, well….the DRAMATIC. It tends to feel like you are in the middle of a soap opera that will continue on forever.

Every scene in your life is an experience and will play itself out whether you take charge with awareness or not. You have the ability to enter the scene consciously, owning your part, adding and enriching the experience or you can allow yourself to get sucked into a vortex of drama, gossip, lies and competition swirling around you.

You also have the ability to exit the scene gracefully, with honor, forgiveness and your head held high. You can do this at any time during the scene by deciding that your role in the scene (or the play) is complete. If you’ve played the same part over & over again and the ending is always the same, it might be time to re-evaluate the role you have taken on and agreed to. It’s never too late to change the scenery, the script and your agreements to create a brand new ending.

You will have many scenes and play a lot of roles in your lifetime. At some level you agreed to each one of them. If you enjoy the drama, chaos and the same ending, by all means continue. If you’d like to change the part you play step out of the drama! Step out to center stage and take command with awareness! Life is what you make it so live it AS YOU LIKE IT! 😉 ~Shine Your Light Debbie

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