Validation – Page 4

Once again I find it’s time to write about a particular energy trend emerging in reading sessions. That trend is validation or perhaps more to the point, why are we so invalidated that we seek validation outside of ourselves? In a vast world full of competition it’s difficult to validate our own self. Seeking recognition from others is looking outside yourself. There’s nothing wrong with wanting validation but it’s important to be able to validate YOURSELF so you can accept and ‘have’ the validation you receive from others.

Why is it so hard to validate ourselves?

Validating ones self is not easy because you’ve simply been taught from a very young age not to. It’s ok to validate someone else but it’s considered egotistical if you validate yourself. Why is it ok to validate and recognize others but not yourself? Validating yourself is not about praising yourself publicly. It’s ok to be proud of what you’ve accomplished and there’s nothing wrong with telling people BUT constantly shouting your good deeds from the rooftops and telling others how amazing you are time and time again is actually you wanting others to validate you. Validation like everything else is an energy and sometimes the invalidation you carry causes you to see things and react through the filters caused by that invalidation.

How much validation can you have?

Perhaps you’ve been recognized but in your heart you don’t feel like you deserve the recognition because in your eyes it wasn’t good enough. I’ll bet that some time in your past you did, said or created something you were proud of and felt good about only to have someone else invalidate it. If that happened and you owned what they told you as truth at some level you’re holding on to the energy of invalidation and it has had an effect on everything you’ve done since that time. In order to have validation from others you must be able to validate yourself and know inside that what you do or say has value to YOU.

Until you can validate yourself it will never be enough….

No matter how much recognition you receive or from whom, until you can validate yourself it will be fleeting at best. Receiving an award (or recognition) is wonderful but what happens after your 15 minutes of fame is over? Can you validate yourself for it or do you find yourself trying to figure out how to do it again? Have you spent your life trying to get validation from a particular person yet you are ignored or you feel like you always say the wrong thing and try to correct it? Do you feel like nothing you do or say is good enough in the eyes of another? Are you validating yourself with food or sex or shopping or some other addiction which makes you feel good for merely a moment? Some people shop so they have lots of “things” but do those “things” really validate you? Some people validate their bodies with food only to beat themselves up later for gaining weight or feeling awful. Some are in effort trying to be the “top dog” who makes the most money so all they do is work. None of those things work.

Recognition and validation from others is a beautiful thing but so is validating yourself and accepting validation from others humbly and with grace. It is up to you to find what validates you. Does a job well done make you stand back and smile without someone else telling you? Can you graciously accept and know with all your heart that you deserve validation from others? Can you give to others without expectation of receiving anything in return and you feel good about it? In the world today it’s difficult even under the best of circumstances to receive a spirit to spirit HELLO. If your spirit does not get a HELLO it causes you to feel empty, alone, ignored and invalidated. A simple hello while looking into someones eyes is a huge validation for both of you. You saying hello to your own spirit validates you.

Finding validation in an invalidating world means you validate yourself as well as others. It’s also important to be aware of the validation you receive every day. If you’re looking for validation scroll down to the end of this post and enjoy one of my favorite videos on the subject. This short film called VALIDATION does show how a bit of validation can change your inner and outer world. Let me finish by saying….HELLO! YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU HAVE VALUE! Can you see these things about you for yourself?~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Mountains Majesty — Photo Courtesy of Kate Janes

Say I were to give you $525,600 per year for the rest of your life. That’s $1440 per day! I’m sure you can think of many ways to spend it but the catch is you can’t spend any of it on yourself! Altruism aside, how would you feel if you were given that amount of money and couldn’t spend any of it…not one dime, on yourself.

To be sure that’s a lot of money and you might get a little angry if I dropped a sack filled with money on your doorstep every year yet none of it was for you. Wouldn’t it be great if we ALL had $525,600 per year, every year for the rest of our lives! The things we could do, places we could go, the things we could see & experience. If you could use it for yourself would you place value on every $1 and use it to enhance not only your life but the lives of those you hold dear?

Certainly with that kind of money coming in every year your life would change. You’d probably relax, take time to focus on those things and people who are important to you. You’d spend your time and energy on things that make you happy now instead of worrying about the future. Now follow along with me here. What if the ‘currency’ I’m really talking about is your TIME and how you value yourself? Do you value your time and energy as much as the value you place on money? Play along with me here for a few moments! 🙂

Every year you have 525,600 valuable minutes. That’s 1440 minutes per day and it renews every year. I wish I could say there is ‘roll-over’ time but that’s it! It’s finite. There is no ‘do over’. Once you’ve ‘spent’ your time it’s done, over, finito. Similar to spending money don’t you think? Every minute has value. What you spend your time and energy focusing on has value just as you have great value. Do you spend some of your precious minutes on YOU? If not it’s very much like the ‘catch’ I mentioned in the beginning of this…you are not placing value on yourself!

So how do you spend your 1440 minutes each day? What could you create with the valuable time you spend thinking about the past or worrying about the future? How many minutes do you spend nurturing your spirit? How many valuable minutes do you string together for beautiful moments in your life?

Noticing where you put your time and energy is the first step toward valuing each moment. With awareness you have a choice about how you’d like to spend your minutes. You can choose to spend time creating wonderful experiences and living life or unable to move forward and stuck in the past. You can choose to love or hate. You can choose to spend your time and energy worrying or creating something new. Whatever you choose, remember that once you’ve spent it, it’s gone and merely a memory. Why not choose to Live On Purpose? 🙂

In the movie “RENT” the song “Seasons of Love” says it best. ‘525,600 moments so dear…how do you measure a year….’ There is value to who and what you spend time loving. There is value to where you place your time and energy. Be sure to spend time on your most valuable resource….YOU!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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