Awareness – Page 22

“It is everyday, a normal day, it is one day that a chance meeting can change, influence and touch your life and send you on a different course. It is a smile, it is helpful hand, a comment overheard at the bus stop that makes you pause and think.”~Excerpt from Touch by Ellyzabeth Adler

Those who cross our path and touch our hearts are a part of our lives forever. Even those who touch our lives in passing become a part of our history and no matter how much time passes, our history remains. Nothing is or can be deleted. Once touched, we are forever changed.

The mind may, and most probably will, distort the facts. This is most common when it comes to our closest relationships. Our history is embellished and made more beautiful, romantic, idealistic, perfect; or more horrific, full of blame, disgust or imperfections. However we remember a past event, keep in mind that unless we’re actually watching an unedited video, listening to an unedited recording or reading unedited words, it is all a picture, an illusion.

We may not have heard what we thought we heard. We might have missed something that was said. We might have misunderstood an intent because we were experiencing everything through filters of fear, guilt or even hope. We might have misunderstood because we were not fully present and actually listening.

At times we all have selective “sight” and “hearing”. This is completely natural and only becomes a challenge when we hold on to the past and someone has to be “right”. Distorting the past and having to be “right” is more about not taking ownership for our part. It is us trying to rationalize “why” something happened or didn’t happen; rationalizing why something worked out or didn’t.

Let’s face it, when it comes to ourselves we occasionally experience moments of “willful blindness”. There are just some things we not only don’t want to see within ourselves, but those things we don’t want or aren’t ready to take ownership of. Whether we choose to face them head on or not the energy charge is still there until we release resistance, accept, forgive and allow ourselves to re-connect with love.

All those who have crossed our path and touched our hearts are a part of our history. We cannot ignore, or rationalize and there is no need to be “right”. We must accept and take ownership for our part. We must accept and take responsibility for the history we were fully engaged in creating even if we did not have our full awareness.

It is not how we remember so much as that we HONOR those people and experiences that have shaped our lives and become a part of our history. Those who have touched us.

“Touch is the pure essence to life, to love, to all human beings; to what connects us.”~Excerpt from Touch by Ellyzabeth Adler

Love is what touches us. Kindness is love extended to another. Love is what connects us. Love is also a vibration many fear for love makes us vulnerable. It is fear that causes us to rationalize, get angry or distort the very history that simply because it touched us, gave us a most profound gift.

The distorted memories are what keep us stuck, angry, afraid and unable to receive the gentle touch of a hand or a heart reaching out. Love is what we are and what connects us. Love is so powerful it may very well be the source of fear because when we are touched by it we know everything changes.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.“~Rumi

Is someone mistaking your kindness for an agreement to dump their problems and/or pain into your space? Do people come into your life, hand you their problems then disappear as if they were never there? If you’ve been dumped on, are you OK with that?

My guess is that your probably NOT ok with someone dumping their pain into your space or running it through you.

The disturbing part of being dumped on is when we wake up to the fact that at some level we were taught (or programmed) to allow it and we, whether knowingly or unknowingly, are agreeing to it. Healers are particularly susceptible to this programming.

These “give me your pain” or as I like to call them “pass the pain” agreements exist between friends, lovers, family members and colleagues. Of course we want to “problem solve”. Of course we want to lend a compassionate ear. Of course we want to help others through difficult times. Of course we are there to support and heal those we love BUT that doesn’t mean we have to take on their pain or run it through us.

Why and When did we Agree?

I know you’re thinking (not because I’m clairvoyant but because I’ve pondered the question myself) “no way did I agree to take on that pain”. I’m their friend, lover, family (fill in the blank) and agreed to help them, heal them or hold their hand but I DID NOT agree to actually take that pain into me. Well my friends, at some level you did and it may simply be you are such a capable healer that you can.

It could be a Karmic agreement or quite possibly you want someone to love or like you. You may have been taught to do this to make others more comfortable or you may have learned it was more comfortable for you. Counter-intuitive I know but sometimes it’s easier for us to clear the pain for others than to actually watch them be in pain. There are as many reasons for the agreements we make as people on the planet. Every one is different and in a lifetime of pasts, presents and futures it’s up to each of us to uncover our truth about why and when.

What About Energy Vampires?

There is a lot of talk about energy vampires and less about getting dumped on although if you really take a long hard look, those we consider the “Energy Vampires” sucking our energy dry, are the ones doing some of the dumping.

Funny thing is, we wouldn’t allow a stranger to dump on us now would we? Isn’t is interesting that those who “dump” are usually the ones closest to us at some level. The ones who know exactly how to push our buttons and the more we resist, the easier it is for them to dump!

One of the reasons we allow them to do it time and time again is because we love them. We don’t want to see them in pain. Many times I see healers who would rather be in pain themselves than allow another to be in pain. In the case of co-workers, colleagues and bosses we allow it so we are accepted as a part of the team or to keep the peace and our jobs.

Dumping Awareness

The dumpers aren’t necessarily aware they are dumping, and we may not be aware we’ve been dumped on until after the fact. Do you notice people or connections who come into your life then, in the blink of an eye, they leave and you don’t know why? Does your business go up and down or you go through periods of feast or famine? Guess what? Those are PRIME indicators you’ve been dumped on!

Stop the Madness!

It’s time we all stop the “pass the pain” “give it to me” syndrome. We don’t have to run others pain through us. The secret is to simply end the agreement. Clear the programming that says we should allow another to dump or run their pain through us.

Own your space by filling it with you. Fill it with compassion and love. Radiate from a place of your being. Be love and compassion. That, my friends, is what allows others to heal. Clean up the resistance and mess. Plant new seeds to grow. Create new thought processes and consciously decide to do it differently.

Treat those who dump with love and compassion. Just as you learned to allow the dumping, they learned it’s ok to do it AND just by you acknowledging and not taking on their pain, you are teaching them not to dump but to heal. We all have the ability to heal ourselves and we are here to help each other but that doesn’t mean we have to take on the pain of others to do it.~Shine Your Light Debbie

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