FREEDOM! – Page 7 – Daily Muse

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”~Ann Landers

Love is what unites, walls are what separate. Why do we put up walls? What is it that causes us to feel fear or shame when it comes to our hearts?

Very simply, we put up walls because we are not perfect. We put up walls because other people might SEE we are not perfect. We put up walls because we don’t want people to see our pain.

Our hearts know no limits or boundaries. An open heart loves, is vulnerable and is not afraid to show imperfections. Not one of us is perfect and it takes courage to show our human-ness to others openly and honestly. We need not be ashamed of our bodies, our imperfections, our pain. We are human and our imperfections are as much a part of us as everything else.

At one time or another each of us has been hurt. Each of us has made a mistake. Each of us has experienced some level of fear around intimacy. We might think we’re being open but there are times we still hold back because we fear we will be judged or hurt in the process. We put up a “wall of shame” around our heart so others will not see us as “less” than. The problem is, the “shame” only exists in our minds and we’ve made it real! We’ve given it power. We’ve allowed it to build a wall that separates us from ourselves; Who we are and the love we are made of….

Shame is us judging ourselves and deciding we do not and will never meet the expectations of others. Shame says we are not good enough, our past was not good enough, we are not worth it and worst of all, our shame not only keeps others at arm’s length but it is the judgement of all judgments. We are judging ourselves so harshly we are deciding what (we think) is acceptable to others.

We may have been shamed as a child for doing or saying something wrong. We may have been shamed because something wasn’t good enough for our parents. We may have been judged harshly for not being perfect in an old relationship. We may judge ourselves for actions and mistakes we made in the past.

In many ways the “wall of shame” is a form of self sabotage. It stops us from fully experiencing and seeing the love we are. The love that unites us. It separates us and keeps us in a jail cell of self-judgment. It keeps us from fully loving ourselves and if we can’t fully love ourselves for who we are and make “allowances for human weakness” how can we possibly accept another openly and freely?

To truly love and be loved, we must take down the walls that separate us from the very thing we long for, the very thing we ARE. The walls we unconsciously, or sometimes consciously, put up which seemingly separate us from others are really walls that separate us from OURSELVES! Be who you are. Love who you are. Take down the walls and let your love light shine!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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When life gets overwhelming Breathing Room sometimes we just need more space to breathe and sort it all out. Despite the deadlines, responsibilities and work that needs to be completed, giving ourselves a little more elbow room makes a huge difference.

Giving ourselves more space allows release and forward motion instead of that stuck, and often times, sick feeling from whatever it is that’s become overwhelming.

Giving ourselves more breathing room is simple although sometimes we become obsessed and in effort “trying” to give to ourselves space. Effort doesn’t work. Trying does not work. ALLOWING things to BE works!

There is no mistake that I mentioned “giving to ourselves” several times because it makes a difference when we take time to GIVE TO OURSELVES.

Here are some tried and true ways to give yourself more space and breathing room:

Make a “To Do” list. Sometimes being overwhelmed comes from trying to ‘remember’ all you have to do. The great part of a “To Do’ list is you can check things off the list but you can also add to the list. Keep in mind you don’t have to finish the entire list at once. Prioritize and complete one task at a time. I know this will be difficult for you multi-taskers out there but the more you focus on one task at a time, the less overwhelmed you will feel and little by little I promise you everything will get done.
Step away from Social Media. Also see multi- tasking listed above! I love my social connections as much as you do BUT it’s amazing how easy it is to get sucked in. How often have you been in the middle of something and decide to take a Facebook or Twitter break? If you need a break from the task there is almost always an energy involved. You may have hit an energy that simply needs to be released so take a break FOR YOURSELF. Step away from whatever you’re doing, bring your attention back to you and reconnect with your body. How you may ask? By sitting down and BREATHING! Focus on YOU for a few moments. Notice how you’re feeling and BE with that feeling. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck allow that feeling to bubble up and acknowledge it’s there.
Take a Walk. When you change your environment you change your perspective. The important thing here is to notice your surroundings. You’ve heard the saying “stop and smell the roses”? When you’re stuck in your head trying to reconcile the past or worrying about the future AND you’re trying to get other work done it’s time to bring your conscious awareness to the present. No matter how “busy” you are if you’re head is not in the “game” you won’t get much done. If you’re you can go outside to “see” and be a part of nature, great! If you’re in an office stand up, stretch, look around you and acknowledge your physical surroundings. Of course this is a good time to breathe and see #2!
Meditation. There is a Zen adage that says “You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day – unless you’re too busy;then you should sit for an hour.” Well, what if I told you that one hour of meditation not only gives you breathing room but gives you more time? Turning your attention inward helps increase mental clarity, awareness AND, in essence, gives you more time because you’ll be able to complete your tasks without resisting or feeling overwhelmed. If you don’t have an hour, see #2 and #3. Once you step away, take a moment to ground and connect with your body. Even 5 minutes will help during a busy day. When you take time to care for what’s going on inside you, you’ll be able to more effectively take care of those things outside of you. If you don’t know how to meditate or would like a guided meditation to transform chaos to calm CLICK HERE for a free meditation gift from me to you.

Giving yourself more breathing room is important for your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. The more breathing room you have, the less overwhelming life will be no matter what’s going on. Take time to smell the roses. You’ll be glad you did!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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