Living Loving Learning – Page 26

“We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.”~Denis Diderot

We seek the truth but how often do we choose to ignore it because we didn’t like the answer? “Truth” is more like the unfitted sheet we struggle to fold neatly. More often than not, the truth is a messy tangled web because there’s not necessarily one “truth”.

The truth is beautiful and freeing yet sometimes feels like a terrible thing. It is something to be honored and respected but sometimes, we close our eyes and believe what we want to believe despite the truth.

Sometimes uncovering the lies to see, know and accept the truth hurts. It hurts because if someone has lied to you, it means at some level THEY didn’t want to own up to the truth. It also means you made decisions based on a lie.

Lies and omissions are almost ALWAYS about the person lying and those lies are not always malicious. I once had someone tell me they lied ‘out of compassion’; that it was the ‘kind’ thing to do. At least that’s what he believed.

“But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.”~ Khaled Hosseini

The reality is, a lie is born from fear. While there are some who lie because they have an agenda and are simply not nice people there are good and nice people who lie out of an underlying fear. Some lies are told because someone feels ‘less than’ or not worthy. They feel they must build themselves up in some way. Others are told because they fear the consequences that come with telling the truth and yet others are voiced out of embarrassment.

There’s the little white lie. The bold-faced lie. Lies of kindness, exaggeration, and broken promises. Lies of omission. Then there are the “programming” lies that say you have to do something a certain way. There are probably hundreds if not thousands of lies and reasons people rationalize lying but, whether conscious or unconscious, all of them have an impact on us.

The reality is, a lie comes directly from the ego mind. It serves as a false protection for the person telling the lie. A lie does not protect, it invalidates everyone involved. Lie=Living In Ego. When vibrating at truth and clearing the lies, be ready as the light illuminates the truth.

“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.”~Friedrich Nietzsche

The truth about opening up to truth is that it’s uncomfortable. It’s messy. We don’t always see what we want to see. We don’t always want to know there was a lie in place. We believed what someone told us or what we wanted to see and when the truth comes out, our heads spin. We are potentially disappointed with ourselves and others and much of the time “truth” rocks the core of your being.

While truth can be uncomfortable the beauty is truth has no agenda. Truth is courageous. It is vulnerable and it will set you free. Would you rather live an honest life built upon a foundation of truth or a life built upon the foundation of lies?

The uncomfortable truth about truth is that we need to be just as brave and courageous to hear and receive the truth as we do speaking an uncomfortable truth to someone else. There are always two sides to the equation. BUT the real truth is, truth is not about ‘liking’ an answer or being in effort ‘seeking’ the truth.

In fact, it’s not about an answer at all! It’s about living your life, being who you are, unfettered by illusion. It’s about vibrating at truth, with awareness that a lie is simply an action or spoken word that comes from fear. Let go of the illusions. Let go of the lies. Forgive yourself and others for, at some level, being afraid, and just simply BE. WHO. YOU. ARE.~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

This is a guest post written by Chiron O’Keefe.

“Used to be I wore Rose-Colored Glasses. Had to, really. The early years were challenging, filled with drama, strife, agitation, and fear.

It would have destroyed my heart to recognize what my adult self would someday be able to properly assimilate. So I pretended, as many children do. A coping method. A means of emotional survival.

The Rose-Colored Glasses served my heart in many ways. I could *love* past the disdain or criticism or cruelty. I could pretend and close my eyes, and believe what served my heart even if it meant beginning a process of avoidance and self-deceit.

The souls who showed me affection and those who treated me poorly, both earned a fierce misguided loyalty. It was odd, looking back. Recognizing how I’d deliberately ignore bad behavior, or even pretend to myself that I didn’t notice.

Others fed into that. Guilt and Obligation were the go-to dynamic in my family and earliest friends. One trained me to never object by pushing my easiest button–my fear of being unkind. That one scolded me fiercely if I ever objected to being used or manipulated, if I dared to call her on her bad behavior or lies.

Objecting meant that I was Not Being Unconditionally Loving, which translates to “You’re a Bad Person.” In retrospect, it was classic psychological abuse, but what did I know? I wanted to love and so I did. My guilt filled in the empty slots where love belonged.

It took decades to allow myself to wake up. To gently remind myself that putting up with bad behavior is not kind but actually a form of enabling. All those buzz words to describe a simple truth: Letting others hurt or use you isn’t love. Guilt isn’t a natural response, and if that is the primary feeling, it’s not love. Unless you can say, “No,” instead of always feeling obligated to say, “Yes,” it’s not love.

However, those Rose-Colored Glasses served a valuable purpose. They taught me how to love. And without them, I felt colder and quite lonely. The world was starker in black and white, in lonely shades of grey.

It took years before I recognized the solution was not to discard them completely. Love is not a simple thing. People may hurt us and make mistakes, just as we hurt others. Sometimes the view is rosy, yet with a shade of another hue. All those colors require integration with an honest and compassionate heart. Sometimes love is messy, wild, like a tempestuous wave followed by a Chiron O'Keefe's photo. smooth pool of warmth and comfort.

There was one last step required. I had to make a promise to myself. I had to learn to say, “No.” To recognize that love is a choice, not an obligation. That promising to look for the best in another does not mean ignoring truth. So for me, having the ability to say “No,” meant I needn’t hide my eyes from what couldn’t be confronted. No longer did I have to don Rose-Colored Glasses to warm up a world of chill grey.

Today I view my world through a rainbow of emotions that stretch across my inner sky. The sunshine dances on the raindrops, and the occasional blustery storm encourages my inner trees to dance. I welcome all the colors of my emotions, grateful for my ability to feel without fear. I recognize my freedom to love or not as I choose. And in knowing I have this choice, I choose to love.”–Chiron O’Keefe

Chiron O’Keefe is a writer, philosopher, and musician. Currently working on a book of essays focusing on reality creation and self-love, she is a life-long dreamer whose experiences have taught her the value of playfulness and self-accountability. You can follow her on Facebook .

Many thanks to Chiron for permission to publish this amazing and insightful post. May her journey inspire you to choose love and….Shine Your Light!~Debbie

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