TRUTH – Page 19 – Daily Muse

Are you a people pleaser? Are you always in giving and healing others mode? Are you inclined to say YES every time someone asks you for a favor or to do something for them? Do you take time for yourself or are you always responding to other people’s needs and wants? Do you give away your valuable time and services because you can’t say NO? If so, you are a healer and it might be time to explore the Tao of NO!

A friend recently told me he was in a “receptive NO mode” and frankly I completely understand what he is saying. For the most part I do believe most of us are givers. We take on and solve problems for our friends, family, bosses, clients and customers. No one likes conflict and so in the essence of keeping the peace and helping we try to make everyone happy.

In business there are times we give away our services to those perhaps less fortunate and on a personal level it feels pretty good to help or give advice to a friend. We do this out of love and/or because we strive to be responsible for our own actions and enjoy giving. There is nothing wrong with doing any of those things BUT if you lose yourself in the process, there is nothing loving, giving or valiant about it!

In fact when you give or give away your most valuable resource (ie your energy) because you can’t say NO you are training people to continue asking for more. In essence you allow them to become senior (more important) in your space and eventually whatever has become senior will take its toll. It might be that your work life is thriving but your relationships suffer. It could be that your caring for others affects your health and well-being or leaves you with little time for yourself. It is possible that you are struggling financially yet someone else needs your product or services and can’t afford to pay you so you give it away to help them out.

The Tao is the flow of the universe

It is the “pattern behind the natural world that keeps the universe balanced and ordered.” (via Wikipedia) Always saying YES is an ‘absolute’ which creates an imbalance and takes you out of your flow. Keep in mind this is about YOU taking care of YOU and your needs. It’s about re-establishing balance and creating boundaries by connecting with your inner NO!

It IS ok to say no!

Do you give yourself permission to say no? I promise your life will not spontaneously combust if you say it every now and again. 🙂 What I loved about my friends comment about being in a receptive NO mode is that he is taking back his seniority and no longer allowing others to TAKE his time and energy. He is receptive to what is asked of him yet at the same time he is realizing how important it is to take care of himself by occasionally saying no. He is choosing to give instead of always being at the ‘beck and call’ of others.

Check in with yourself and evaluate who or what has become senior to you. You have a right to take time for and care for yourself. You have a right to make a living but be sure to include having a life. Givers and healers you have a right to create boundaries. This is what balance is all about and sometimes saying NO frees up your time and energy so you can be in your flow and say YES to YOU and the things that are important to you!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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As I gaze out the window of the plane at 32000 feet, I’m suddenly in awe of the landscape below and the infinite universe above. As we ascended into the sky the view of movement below becomes indistinguishable and finally vanishes altogether. For a time we are lost in the clouds which act like a comforting blanket of soft fluffy cotton in the sky.

What started out as a rainy, gloomy Chicago morning turned into being surrounded by magical, billowy cloud castles with the sun casting a pinkish red glow on the clouds adding to the beautiful sight. I slept for a time (truth be told I love to sleep on planes!) and when I opened my eyes the sky was clear, showing brown majestic mountains below and the brilliant azure blue atmosphere above.

There I was in a 737 bubble flying overhead while the earth was teaming with life below. People are going to work and getting on with their busy-ness. There is worry, stress, joy, happiness or whatever consumes and demands ones immediate attention. From where I sat in my bubble the vastness of the landscape and the limitless possibilities took precedence over the details and worries of the past or future.

There are times when what demands your attention creates a vortex which sucks you in causing you to be stuck in the middle of swirling energies. The bubble you sit in is filled with so much other ‘stuff’ that you lose your sense of self. It is this very ‘loss of self’ that causes you to get caught up in the bubble of demands which consume your thoughts until it is all you can see. When you begin to see the bigger picture, you will find that your immediate circumstances are a mere blip on the radar of infinite possibilities!

Losing yourself in the details it’s almost impossible to see the bigger picture and there is ALWAYS a bigger picture. If you take a step back for a moment you may even find an answer or two which has eluded you. There is clarity and comfort in the big picture. When you find YOUR bigger picture, you find there is a purpose to what you are going through. That purpose teaches you something and adds depth and meaning whether it is good, bad or indifferent.

It’s beneficial to step out of your routine and the details of everyday life for a moment to get a sense of the bigger picture. Take a step back, turn your attention inward and when you have gotten back to yourself, just observe.

How about a little game to illustrate? Stare at your thumb for one minute. Keep focusing on your thumb. Now, while still staring at your thumb, tell me the details of your surroundings. Not from memory, no cheating! Tell me in detail what’s across the room while staring at your thumb. Interesting isn’t it. You can’t see much else while all your attention is focused on just your thumb. It is the same with your day-to-day life.

Stepping out of the energy to look at the big picture gives you an entirely new perspective and you don’t have to get on a plane to do it! Take time to meditate and return to your own personal energy bubble. This separates you enough to stop you from staring only at your thumb. It allows you to come out of the clouds, see the sun which has always been there and gives you space to see the bigger picture. What’s yours?~Shine Your Light Debbie

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