TRUTH – Page 6 – Daily Muse

This is a guest post written by Chiron O’Keefe.

“Used to be I wore Rose-Colored Glasses. Had to, really. The early years were challenging, filled with drama, strife, agitation, and fear.

It would have destroyed my heart to recognize what my adult self would someday be able to properly assimilate. So I pretended, as many children do. A coping method. A means of emotional survival.

The Rose-Colored Glasses served my heart in many ways. I could *love* past the disdain or criticism or cruelty. I could pretend and close my eyes, and believe what served my heart even if it meant beginning a process of avoidance and self-deceit.

The souls who showed me affection and those who treated me poorly, both earned a fierce misguided loyalty. It was odd, looking back. Recognizing how I’d deliberately ignore bad behavior, or even pretend to myself that I didn’t notice.

Others fed into that. Guilt and Obligation were the go-to dynamic in my family and earliest friends. One trained me to never object by pushing my easiest button–my fear of being unkind. That one scolded me fiercely if I ever objected to being used or manipulated, if I dared to call her on her bad behavior or lies.

Objecting meant that I was Not Being Unconditionally Loving, which translates to “You’re a Bad Person.” In retrospect, it was classic psychological abuse, but what did I know? I wanted to love and so I did. My guilt filled in the empty slots where love belonged.

It took decades to allow myself to wake up. To gently remind myself that putting up with bad behavior is not kind but actually a form of enabling. All those buzz words to describe a simple truth: Letting others hurt or use you isn’t love. Guilt isn’t a natural response, and if that is the primary feeling, it’s not love. Unless you can say, “No,” instead of always feeling obligated to say, “Yes,” it’s not love.

However, those Rose-Colored Glasses served a valuable purpose. They taught me how to love. And without them, I felt colder and quite lonely. The world was starker in black and white, in lonely shades of grey.

It took years before I recognized the solution was not to discard them completely. Love is not a simple thing. People may hurt us and make mistakes, just as we hurt others. Sometimes the view is rosy, yet with a shade of another hue. All those colors require integration with an honest and compassionate heart. Sometimes love is messy, wild, like a tempestuous wave followed by a Chiron O'Keefe's photo. smooth pool of warmth and comfort.

There was one last step required. I had to make a promise to myself. I had to learn to say, “No.” To recognize that love is a choice, not an obligation. That promising to look for the best in another does not mean ignoring truth. So for me, having the ability to say “No,” meant I needn’t hide my eyes from what couldn’t be confronted. No longer did I have to don Rose-Colored Glasses to warm up a world of chill grey.

Today I view my world through a rainbow of emotions that stretch across my inner sky. The sunshine dances on the raindrops, and the occasional blustery storm encourages my inner trees to dance. I welcome all the colors of my emotions, grateful for my ability to feel without fear. I recognize my freedom to love or not as I choose. And in knowing I have this choice, I choose to love.”–Chiron O’Keefe

Chiron O’Keefe is a writer, philosopher, and musician. Currently working on a book of essays focusing on reality creation and self-love, she is a life-long dreamer whose experiences have taught her the value of playfulness and self-accountability. You can follow her on Facebook .

Many thanks to Chiron for permission to publish this amazing and insightful post. May her journey inspire you to choose love and….Shine Your Light!~Debbie

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Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”~Mark Twain ‪

Many people go through their lives asking the age-old questions; why am I here, what is my purpose?

It is most certainly an important day when we receive the answer to those questions BUT have you considered the possibility that there is more than one “why”? What if instead of looking for your purpose, you discover you are already living it each day?

We are all many things to many people. We influence countless lives because when we touch someone’s life, they touch someone and then they touch someone and it goes on infinitely. Every word, deed and touch has purpose but we may never be fortunate enough to find out. It isn’t until we embrace and love ourselves that we open up to our true purpose.

We each have our roles to play.

You are powerful beyond measure whether you realize it or not but not one of us can physically be everywhere assisting every single person on the planet at any given moment. We each have our roles to play. As we embrace those roles we discover our purpose.

We may not receive an award for our role. Our “why” might not come in an epiphany. We can recognize how our role affects the lives of others by simply being present and aware. We have the opportunity to affect a life by looking into someone’s eyes and acknowledging their presence.

Several years ago I did a reading for a lovely woman. When I looked at her clairvoyantly I saw she was surrounded by dark energy that was not her own; Underneath was a bright, creative, colorful soul. She didn’t tell me much prior to our session other than she felt stuck and unable to create. She also didn’t ask too many questions. By the end of our reading she was much brighter but I had no idea how the session dramatically affected her life.

A few years later I received an email thanking me. Her words, filled with heartfelt gratitude and enthusiasm, literally jumped off the page! In her email she said that prior to our session she felt isolated, alone and that she was contemplating suicide.

She said that during our session she felt safe for the first time in her life and in that safety she found hope. From the hope she reached out and found a therapist to help guide her through a very painful journey. The best part of this story is when she shared the joy of her “new” life.

She was happy in her marriage and felt love beyond “anything she could have imagined”. She got pregnant and gave birth to a gorgeous daughter and the demand for her art was off the charts! I read that letter with tears of joy and my heart grew as I realized a part of my purpose.

Who knows what this woman will go on to do? Who knows what her daughter will do? Who knows if her art will inspire another artist. Maybe she tells her story and gives someone else hope.

As we move through the world our purpose reveals itself in many ways. We will probably receive many ‘whys’ during our lifetime. We may not be able to put into words our exact purpose but we do know what feels good. Our purpose may be revealed in a series of seemingly small validations, or it might come all at once.

Not all of us are destined to write a Pulitzer Prize winning novel, receive an Academy Award, or discover a cure for cancer or AIDS BUT at some level we each play a very important supporting role so others can fulfill their purpose.

Who knows if the person you inspire will take that into the world to inspire someone else and so on. Who knows if you gave hope and saved a life as you smiled at the stranger on the street. Who knows if you brightened the day of the next Steven Hawking or Neil Armstrong.

Each of us has a purpose. Embrace your role and do what you do well. Do it from the heart. Do what you do best for THAT is your purpose!

While I’d like to think the “most” important day is when we find out why, each day is important. Live your life with purpose on purpose!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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