How to meditate

How to Meditate Effectively: Hint it’s not about emptying your mind!

How to meditate“Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.”~Jeremy Taylor

There are many different types of meditation and choosing which technique(s) you prefer is personal.

Some may prefer meditating sitting cross-legged on the floor, while others might choose to meditate standing on their heads

Sitting in a chair with feet flat on the floor is my preference (and what I teach) but I also tend to incorporate other techniques depending on where I am or what I’m doing.

There is no right or wrong way to meditate but there IS a common thread and that thread is going within, connecting more deeply with ourselves and mastering the ability to calm the mind, and acknowledge the magic of our spirit.

It’s a Shift of Focus and Perspective.

There are a lot of meditation techniques which subscribe to “emptying your mind” but have you ever really tried to do that? It’s like telling someone don’t think about a pink elephant. What’s the first thing you did when I said that? You probably smiled and thought of a pink elephant!

“If we know the divine art of concentration, if we know the divine art of meditation, if we know the divine art of contemplation, easily and consciously we can unite the inner world and the outer world.”~Sri Chinmoy

What if emptying your mind does not enter into the equation? What if meditation was less about a silent void and more about shifting your focus inward to connect with that magical, mystical part of you and you are welcoming yourself back home? Meditation really is the language of spirit; the divine art of uniting our inner and outer worlds.

Shifting your focus by turning your attention inward allows you to take a step back from those outer circumstances that often consume the mind while in the middle of experiencing them. As you bring your attention back to you, you “remind” yourself you are not your circumstances. You remind yourself you are a divine, infinite spirit and in doing so, your perspective will change.

What do you do with all those “thoughts”?

The simple answer to that question is let them be there. If you resist the thoughts that come up I guarantee they will stay in your head. Meditation is not about “pushing away” or “trying”. Turn your attention within and from a neutral place, notice the thoughts that come up for you. The mind is a wonderful thing and the moment you stop trying to solve or fix the thoughts in your head is the moment you can release them and fill up with the magic that is you.

When you stop trying to control your thoughts, or anything else for that matter, you are giving yourself a break from “managing” those things you really don’t have any control over, there is a release and, more than likely, a sense of relief. Meditating effectively has less to do with blank thoughts and more to do with the divine art of non-resistance.

Caution! Meditation causes an awakening. 

“Your greatest awakening comes, when you are aware about your infinite nature.”~Amit Ray

As you journey within you become more aware of your divine and infinite nature. You begin to unravel and let go of untruths or negative beliefs (programming)  you may have held about yourself and others. You begin to see the “bigger picture.” You awaken and begin increasing your awareness of what is you and what is not. You awaken to truth.

Why the caution? The caution is because once you start to see the truth you can’t “un-see” it. If you truly want to meditate effectively you must face (and own) what comes up for you. This is not always an easy thing to do but in doing so, you are choosing YOU. You are choosing to uncover and discover YOU. You increase your awareness of yourself and others.

“Half an hour’s meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed.”~Saint Francis de Sales

Meditating effectively comes down to choosing to meditate. It’s about allowing your thoughts to “be”. It’s about release. It’s about owning and connecting with your magical, and infinite spirit. It’s about stepping out of your circumstances into your own personal and lovely inner sanctuary. It’s about grounding into your abilities and the miracle that is YOU. Welcome yourself back home.~Shine Your Light Debbie

Ready to begin a meditation practice or enjoy a guided meditation? CLICK HERE for meditations currently on my website or email me at debra@spiritlightinsight.com and I’ll send you a FREE stress reducing meditation.

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Be Direct! Ask for What you Want and Need….

LabrynthDo you have a challenge when it comes to asking for what you want? Do you feel like you have to do everything alone? Do you “hint” at your wants and needs hoping someone “picks up on them?

More importantly do you refrain from bringing up what you want and need because you don’t want to “bother” or “burden” someone else?

“From what I’ve seen, it isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes us–it’s what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.”~Amanda Palmer

It takes a great deal of courage to be direct and ask for what we want and need. The Amanda Palmer quote really sums it up nicely. Many of us are challenged asking for help. We don’t want to be a “bother” but there is also another side of the equation to consider and, aside from needing to ask for help; Are we being clear and expressing to our loved ones and friends what we want and need from them day-to-day?

We move through our lives thinking people are going to figure us out. We hint, we hope and we think we are being clear but, and this is a BIG but, we may not be communicating as clearly as we think we are. Sometimes we circle round and round like a labyrinth until we finally arrive at our destination. Well my friends, the distance between two points does not have to include walking a maze with only one way in and one way out.

I admit I’m not always the best at voicing my wants and needs. What if I sound silly? What if someone doesn’t like what I’m saying? What if I’m perceived as not being a strong woman or the opposite, too pushy or bossy? No one wants to be perceived as “needy or weak, pushy or bossy” and sometimes it takes all I have to speak my truth and allow my vulnerable self to be seen.

We cannot be afraid of how we “think” others will perceive what we are saying. We should not ‘decide’ what someone else thinks, or what they will or won’t do, or how they will or won’t react to what we’re saying because the reality is we will, more than likely, be wrong.

To me asking for what I want and need, not in terms of needing help but sharing with others my vulnerabilities, is much like cracking open a closet filled to the brim. I’m afraid everything will come spilling out and I will be seen as incompetent, high maintenance or “less than” I am. The beauty of asking for what we want and need is that it is not only brave and vulnerable in that it tells someone about us it hopefully opens up a conversation so they can do the same with us.

Asking for what we want and need is not about demands, expectations or ultimatums. What I’m referring to is taking the guesswork out of the equation. While we can hope our loved ones and friends are aware and paying attention, people cannot read minds nor do most pick up on our so-called “cues” and hints. This is also not to say others can fully hear us and/or are open and available to give us what we want or need; But the fact is, at least we’ve verbally, to the best of our ability, communicated our wants and needs.

We can all use work on our communication and listening skills. We can all increase our awareness and pay more attention. If you are saying nothing then expecting something in your relationships you might want to have a look at the part YOU play in not having your wants and needs met.

If you happen to be blaming someone for not meeting your wants and needs ask yourself if you clearly and verbally communicated what they are.  It seems more commonplace to let people “guess” and “assume” what we want than to speak from our heart and share what’s in there. Maybe we’re just afraid we’ll be disappointed if we speak up. Maybe we have in some way devalued our wants and needs and made others the priority.

Whatever stops you from clearly communicating your wants and needs, release it. You are important and your wants and needs have value. Be direct. Be brave. Be vulnerable. Be fearless. Be strong. Express what you want and need. Speak from the heart with love.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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