April is Stress Awareness Month: De-Stress with a Zen Den!

serenityflower“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”~Amit Ray

Do we really need a “stress awareness month”? I’m pretty sure we are already aware of how stressed we are! How can we not be? We’re constantly being bombarded with energy, taking on extra responsibility and attempting to meet our various and ever-increasing deadlines.

From the media to friends, family and even those we don’t even know, everything is energy and, at times, we are effected without even knowing the source. Isn’t it interesting that Stress Awareness Month is also the month our taxes are due?

Although each of us could choose neutral, say hello to the energy and simply let it go, most of us have not arrived at that blissful, neutral, non-complicated place. For those of us who are givers we need to remind ourselves it’s important (and OK) to give to ourselves. Even 5 minutes of self-care begins to do just that.

When we really break it down, much of the cause of our stress comes from our attention being outside of ourselves. We are thinking (or worrying about) the past or future. We are trying to control others. We are in resistance (circumstances or people), or we are worrying about others and/or how someone else will react. Of course there are many other stressors but for now, let’s focus on a few things we can do to de-stress.

Eat well

Bodies not only need balanced nutrition but they ENJOY eating! When you eat a healthy, balanced diet your body will be happy. Focus on your food when eating. If you’re at home, eat at the table, use the good dishes. Make mealtime enjoyable. Really taste the food. The more of your senses you use, the more in present time, and less stressed, you will be! Also, a hungry body is a stressed body. Don’t skip meals and DO have something on hand for when you find yourself hungry between meals. It’s ok to add healthy snacks or an additional small meal to your day.

Exercise and Play

Fact: Bodies need to exercise AND play! You might not enjoy exercising in the traditional sense so find something you enjoy doing. Maybe even combine it with play! Go to the playground and swing on a swing. Skip down the street, take a dance class, enjoy a bicycle tour of your city, go to the arboretum or walk the gardens, go on a hike, a climb or try something new like spelunking. Commit to a little “fun movement” every day. If you don’t have much time you can certainly take a 10 minute walk. Whatever you choose to do, be sure to notice your surroundings. Smell the flowers. Listen to sounds and by all means feel your body and breathe!

Hobbies

When was the last time you did something you enjoy for no other reason but you enjoy doing it? What are you interested in? Sometimes we get so caught up in work and/or day-to-day tasks we forget to do the things we like to do. It might be an artistic endeavor, a craft, an activity, learning to speak another language or even reading a book. I just read a study that said reading for only 5 minutes will dramatically reduce stress. If you don’t have a hobby but want to try something new, check out Meetup.com . Scroll through and find something that sounds like fun and by all means check it out. Any shift in your attention and energy will shift your stress level!

Meditation/Mindfulness

Transform Chaos to CalmThere is nothing better for de-stressing than meditation and inner reflection. Create a “Zen Den” for yourself. This is a comfortable “sanctuary” space free of distractions; A safe, anxiety free, zone if you will. If you have a meditation practice great! If not, simply close your eyes, breathe, bring your attention and energy back to you and imagine the stress simply melting away.

Meditation won’t solve all your problems but it will instantly shift your energy and definitely help! I have a couple of guided meditations (free to listen or download) available on my website and I’m working on adding a special stress relieving meditation as well. “Transforming Chaos to Calm” was initially offered as a free meditation workshop and is a very popular download.

Get a Massage

A massage is a great way to unwind and don’t discount the power of the human touch. If you are feeling isolated, alone and stuck in your thoughts, a massage will bring you back to the present. It will not only bring your attention back to your body it feels good! If you have a limited amount of time, check out a neck/shoulder massage. Depending on where you live and what your job is, they might even offer these types of massages at your workplace or close by.

Now that you have a few tried and true ways to de-stress, do you know what they all have in common? With each one you step out of your “thoughts”, shift your perspective and re-center mind, body and spirit in present time! Your energy and attention are on you, for you.

Part of de-stressing lies in the ability to give to yourself. Take a breath, acknowledge you are stressed then stop and get into present time with your surroundings. If you think you don’t have time, think again! There are 24 hours in a day and we’re talking about 10-15 minutes a day at the very least, 1 or 2 hours a day at most, depending on how much time you have and/or need to de-stress.

Take time each day to unwind and bring your attention back to you. Create a “Zen Den” sanctuary. Live in the moment. Live in your breath and transform chaos to calm.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2015 All Rights Reserved

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Is There Illegal Dumping Going On in Your Space?

wasteIs someone mistaking your kindness for an agreement to dump their problems and/or pain into your space? Do people come into your life, hand you their problems then disappear as if they were never there? If you’ve been dumped on, are you OK with that?

My guess is that your probably NOT ok with someone dumping their pain into your space or running it through you.

The disturbing part of being dumped on is when we wake up to the fact that at some level we were taught (or programmed) to allow it and we, whether knowingly or unknowingly, are agreeing to it. Healers are particularly susceptible to this programming.

These “give me your pain” or as I like to call them “pass the pain” agreements exist between friends, lovers, family members and colleagues. Of course we want to “problem solve”. Of course we want to lend a compassionate ear. Of course we want to help others through difficult times. Of course we are there to support and heal those we love BUT that doesn’t mean we have to take on their pain or run it through us.

Why and When did we Agree?

I know you’re thinking (not because I’m clairvoyant but because I’ve pondered the question myself) “no way did I agree to take on that pain”. I’m their friend, lover, family (fill in the blank) and agreed to help them, heal them or hold their hand but I DID NOT agree to actually take that pain into me. Well my friends, at some level you did and it may simply be you are such a capable healer that you can.

It could be a Karmic agreement or quite possibly you want someone to love or like you. You may have been taught to do this to make others more comfortable or you may have learned it was more comfortable for you. Counter-intuitive I know but sometimes it’s easier for us to clear the pain for others than to actually watch them be in pain. There are as many reasons for the agreements we make as people on the planet. Every one is different and in a lifetime of pasts, presents and futures it’s up to each of us to uncover our truth about why and when.

What About Energy Vampires?

There is a lot of talk about energy vampires and less about getting dumped on although if you really take a long hard look,  those we consider the “Energy Vampires” sucking our energy dry, are the ones doing some of the dumping.

Funny thing is, we wouldn’t allow a stranger to dump on us now would we? Isn’t is interesting that those who “dump” are usually the ones closest to us at some level. The ones who know exactly how to push our buttons and the more we resist, the easier it is for them to dump!

One of the reasons we allow them to do it time and time again is because we love them. We don’t want to see them in pain. Many times I see healers who would rather be in pain themselves than allow another to be in pain. In the case of co-workers, colleagues and bosses we allow it so we are accepted as a part of the team or to keep the peace and our jobs.

Dumping Awareness

The dumpers aren’t necessarily aware they are dumping, and we may not be aware we’ve been dumped on until after the fact. Do you notice people or connections who come into your life then, in the blink of an eye, they leave and you don’t know why? Does your business go up and down or you go through periods of feast or famine? Guess what? Those are PRIME indicators you’ve been dumped on!

Stop the Madness!

It’s time we all stop the “pass the pain” “give it to me” syndrome. We don’t have to run others pain through us. The secret is to simply end the agreement. Clear the programming that says we should allow another to dump or run their pain through us.

Own your space by filling it with you. Fill it with compassion and love. Radiate from a place of your being. Be love and compassion. That, my friends, is what allows others to heal. Clean up the resistance and mess. Plant new seeds to grow. Create new thought processes and consciously decide to do it differently.

Treat those who dump with love and compassion. Just as you learned to allow the dumping, they learned it’s ok to do it AND just by you acknowledging and not taking on their pain, you are teaching them not to dump but to heal. We all have the ability to heal ourselves and we are here to help each other but that doesn’t mean we have to take on the pain of others to do it.~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2014 All rights reserved

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