healing – Page 7 – Daily Muse

Last night a dear friend called and told me she didn’t ever think she would be happy again. She went through an epic betrayal which later led to her divorce.

It’s difficult to know what to say when someone is telling you they want to give up because they are convinced they will never be happy again. Especially when it’s clear they are still in the middle of the storm.

If you ARE in the middle of a storm, you can’t see or hear anything but the nasty loop that constantly runs through your head. You can’t hear or see anything but the “I should have, could have or why didn’t I” as you review each and every moment of your relationship. We’ve all been in that place to varying degrees at one time or another, myself included.

There is nothing you need to fix or solve. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. Maybe you did or didn’t do anything wrong. You can only take responsibility and own your part….can you forgive yourself for not being aware? Can you forgive yourself for those times you didn’t hear, or weren’t paying full attention? Can you forgive yourself for having beautiful hopes and dreams? Can you acknowledge the hurt?

Despite all that is happening, the storm and the chaos has nothing to do with you! What happened, what is possibly happening now, while you’re in the middle of it, feels awful. There is seemingly no sun, no moon, no hope; and it feels as if it’s never going to end but let me assure you it will.

The past, the break-up, the separation, causes a hurt that you don’t feel will ever end yet the past is in the past. It’s already happened. You got through it day-by-day. You survived! Now it’s time to go inside and release all that was stirred up by the outside storm.

The storm can’t keep going unless you feed it with your thoughts. While this is true, I know it doesn’t offer comfort for the turmoil in your mind and the pain that it causes. Just because someone isn’t physically standing over you with a baseball bat hitting you over the head doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt as if they were.

I came across the following passage that directly speaks to what happens:

“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”~Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

While I don’t necessarily agree one should keep their eyes closed I read the passage as sometimes we must shut out all the extraneous noise to go within. To quiet the voices in our heads; the thoughts in our minds. To bring comfort and kindness to our bodies.

You are stronger than you think. Have courage, faith and hope because it’s really true that once the storm is over you will be forever changed and you won’t be the same person who walked in.~Shine Your Light Debbie

This is for my best girls K and L and D. I love you all and I’m here in spirit holding your hand every step of the way!

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Debra is a gifted Clairvoyant Reader, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.

“What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications.”~Nora Ephron

Energy Work is Messy

Those who have chosen a healing path know that doing energy work is not glamorous. It’s just the opposite. It’s messy, extremely painful (at times) and the more you uncover the ‘truth’ of who you are, the more you begin to see clearly why and how things unfolded in the past.

One of the hardest pieces to wrap our heads around is when we finally open our psychic eyes to see how we co-created particular, and often painful, situations in our past. It isn’t an easy thing to see the truth because we must face the fact that at the time we (probably) knew or sensed something was off but didn’t listen to our inner voice. Hindsight at it’s finest. Oh yes, things seem to get ‘complicated’ and messy.

There’s no mistake I used the word ‘seem’ to describe the chaos that usually ensues once we discover that perhaps what we were noticing was correct! Things aren’t really complicated; they’re just painful. When we open up to truth our mind will go in a thousand different directions to think about anything and everything other than the pain we are about to feel when we open Pandora’s box. However, with acceptance of what was and loving ourselves in the present we WILL get through it.

Have you ever wondered why painful situation from the past seem to hold our attention as if a vice-grip has them firmly in place? It happens because they are “super-charged” with energy. If we don’t let go of past experiences we begin fueling or feeding the memory but here’s the thing, memories are illusions. They are pictures in our mind and the more we feed them with our present-time energy the bigger they become and the bigger they become, the farther away from the truth they are.

Embellishing expands the illusion

The more we “feed” or embellish our pictures the easier it is to get stuck. The reason it happens is because our ego minds take hold and act as defense mechanisms. Of course we don’t do this consciously but conscious or unconscious, the fact remains, the more we dwell in the past, the more we embellish and give power to the illusion and the less of our energy we have in the present for creating.

“And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We cannot pick it up.
There is no way at all!”
~Dr. Seuss

Deep energy work isn’t always smooth and graceful. For the most part we are not going to do one or two meditations and wake up without a care in the world. I know we all want it to be that way but it’s a process. A peeling back of the layers. It is a process of showing up as we are. It is a process of loving ourselves so much that we go beyond the fear of being heard, seen and vulnerable. To show up as we are, not who others want us to be.

It’s a risk to show up because when we do this work, those around us may not be comfortable with the changes we’re making. We also may see the mess as so big, deep and tall we don’t even want to attempt to clear it out.

Here’s where the reward far outweighs the risk because this is where we connect at such a deep level with ourselves there’s no going back.

“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”~Brené Brown

It’s takes courage to enter the realm of our own psyche. It takes courage to look; to see. It takes courage to accept and accept responsibility for what we have co-created by our lack of awareness or non-acceptance of past experiences.

Yes, it gets messy. Yes, there is a possibility you will feel crazy or out of control and yes, there is the possibility that your growth period will be painful BUT…. there is also a greater potential for healing and transformation.

There is greater potential for growth and expansion and FOR SURE you will be clearing a space for love, and truth and more of YOU to be present…in the present. What a gift!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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