Spiritual Health – Page 2

There are some people in this world who suck the life right out of you! You know the ones I’m talking about. The energy vampires! These are the “friends”, colleagues or family members who demand your attention and don’t respect your time, energy or space. They test your patience, tax your last nerve and leave you drained and exhausted when you’re around them. Energy vampires are very real and once they’ve gotten their fangs into you it is not only exhausting but the encounter can literally haunt you for days, months or in some cases even years!

Energy vampires don’t always know they are sucking the life out of you. They walk around like zombies full of negativity, drama and pain which they pass around until someone (who is usually trying to help them) becomes the dumping ground. The more you try to help by giving them advice, giving them your valuable time & energy and giving them a forum to vent, the more you give away. That’s a lot of giving! Not to sound like Dr. Phil but what are you receiving from this relationship?

Yes, there are energy vampires out there but it is beneficial to look at your part in the relationship. What generally happens is you’ve given them permission to do this. You’ve given up your space to them. You are healing them and allowing solving their problems and their life process to become more important than your own. When dealing with energy vampires as well as being exhausted, you are probably thinking about them and how to ‘help’ but you can’t solve someone else’s problems or take on their pain. Knowingly, why would you want to? It’s fine to want to help someone but if they can’t “have” the help you are giving and don’t take steps to heal themselves you might want to re-evaluate your relationship with them.

At some point after they’ve sucked the life out of you time and time again your awareness will kick in and you get angry. The funny (not haha funny) thing about an energy vampire is they’ve learned to do what they do much like Armand taught Lestat how to be a vampire in Anne Rice’s Vampire chronicles. If you continue to allow them to suck you dry, you have taught them it’s OK to do so. When dealing with energy vampires you will notice that most everything in the vampire’s life including friends, family and work relationships involve some sort of drama and if it’s not their personal drama they are probably complaining, blaming others or gossiping about someone else.

One reason you get sucked in to someone else’s drama is because you are sensitive to others pain because you’ve experienced it in one form or another. You’ll notice that you are most vulnerable when you are happy. It is said that misery loves company and energy vampires tend to bring you down to their level if you allow it. It should be mentioned that dealing with energy vampires is not easy. If you are highly sensitive, have health issues and/or challenges of your own it is best to care for yourself first and you might have to end the relationship with your vampire friend. It’s never easy to sever a relationship of any kind but sometimes it must be done for your own health and well-being.

Here are a few things to do when there’s an energy vampire on the loose:

Forgive yourself! This is important. You were in a sense ‘sucked in’ to the negative vortex. Now that you recognize what’s happening you can effectively take your course of action.
Forgive them and clear the resistance! Forgiveness is a powerful way to clear energy. Energy vampires have probably been sucking people dry for a very long time and don’t realize it. Forgiving doesn’t mean allowing them to do it. It means forgiving them and sending them on their way.
Set boundaries and own your space! Do this from a non-effort, neutral place. Owning your space is the best way to set boundaries.
Value your loving nature, time & energy! What you have to give has value. Your time & energy has value. Think of it as if it were money. How much would you give to others at the cost of your own needs?
Cut the cords and raise your vibration! If necessary, you may need to end the relationship. No one can take your energy or drag you down without your permission at some level. I know that’s hard to hear but it really is up to you.

It is your right and within your power to say no and stop the energy vampire dead in their tracks! Call back your energy from the takers! Your happy life blood is yours to infuse into YOUR life! Help those who can receive your gifts and move on from those who suck you dry!~Shine Your Light Debbie

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Does the sun politely ask the darkness if it can shine or does it just rise and shine?

Love thy neighbor as thyself. Be polite. Say thank you. Mind your manners. Use common courtesy. Of course these are things we learn as children and as each of us strives to be a better person it is possible to try so hard to be “nice” and “polite” that we occasionally get hurt in the process. In the world of politeness and common courtesy the question posed (along with a few others) are good ones to ponder. Is the fear of being impolite stronger than doing what is best for you? Is being polite more important than your feelings? Are you so afraid of being seen as impolite that you disregard your own truth and do the polite thing even if it causes you pain?

Common courtesy and living from the golden rule is a given. Everyone should practice those on a daily basis but when your intuition kicks in and there are danger signals it is conceivable that the “polite” thing to do is not the right thing for you. A great example of this is when you are going through a tough time and a friend calls to tell you all their problems and you become a dumping ground for their pain. Normally you would probably listen intently and lovingly try to help them however what if doing that means you put aside caring for yourself and your own needs? If you happen to take on their problems and pain you are causing yourself more pain in the process. If you simply must be polite how about speaking from your heart and telling them you really need your space and can’t help them right then? If they continue on with no regard for what you need they are really not listening to YOU or care about what you need. At that point perhaps you don’t have to be nice about it.

If someone offered you drugs would you take them because want to be polite? If you have a food allergy would you eat foods which would harm you? Of course not! It is no different with what you take on energetically. Emotional pain is generally someone else’s energy in your space and it possibly manifests as illness in your body. When the fear of being impolite is stronger than your needs and causes you more pain it’s time to take notice! If being polite is more important than your own self-worth and you politely take whatever is thrown at you it’s time to re-evaluate. If negativity surrounds you yet you’re still being ‘nice’ to those negative people instead of distancing yourself perhaps it’s time to look deeper to find out why it is that this happens. Don’t allow fear to run your life and take over even if it means someone might not like you. They may not like you but what’s the cost to you if they do?

Listen to your intuition and feel your feelings. If your gut is screaming at you to get out of there….get out of there! You don’t have to make excuses or be polite. Here’s the part you’ll like; You don’t have to be rude or impolite to stand your ground! Politely go ahead and excuse yourself. Politely tell someone you’re not feeling up to it (whatever ‘it’ is). It is possible to stand up for yourself by speaking from your heart with graceful, loving intent. If someone or some thing is not healthy or in your best interests maybe it’s time to clear the fear, stop being polite and speak your truth whether someone likes it or not. Rise and shine! ~Shine Your Light Debbie

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