Energy Vampires are no Treat; Here are some Tricks to deal with them

There are some people in this world who suck the life right out of you! You know the ones I’m talking about. The energy vampires! These are the “friends”, colleagues or family members who demand your attention and don’t respect your time, energy or space. They test your patience, tax your last nerve and  leave you drained and exhausted when you’re around them. Energy vampires are very real and once they’ve gotten their fangs into you it is not only exhausting but the encounter can literally haunt you for days, months or in some cases even years!

Energy vampires don’t always know they are sucking the life out of you. They walk around like zombies full of negativity, drama and pain which they pass around until someone (who is usually trying to help them) becomes the dumping ground. The more you try to help by giving them advice, giving them your valuable time & energy and  giving them a forum to vent, the more you give away. That’s a lot of giving! Not to sound like Dr. Phil but what are you receiving from this relationship?

Yes, there are energy vampires out there but it is beneficial to look at your part in the relationship. What generally happens is you’ve given them permission to do this. You’ve given up your space to them. You are healing them and allowing solving their problems and their life process to become more important than your own. When dealing with energy vampires as well as being exhausted, you are probably thinking about them and how to ‘help’ but you can’t solve someone else’s problems or take on their pain. Knowingly, why would you want to? It’s fine to want to help someone but if they can’t “have” the help you are giving and don’t take steps to heal themselves you might want to re-evaluate your relationship with them.

At some point after they’ve sucked the life out of you time and time again your awareness will kick in and you get angry. The funny (not haha funny) thing about an energy vampire is they’ve learned to do what they do much like Armand taught Lestat how to be a vampire in Anne Rice’s Vampire chronicles. If you continue to allow them to suck you dry, you have taught them it’s OK to do so. When dealing with energy vampires you will notice that most everything in the vampire’s life including friends, family and work relationships involve some sort of drama and if it’s not their personal drama they are probably complaining, blaming others or gossiping about someone else.

One reason you get sucked in to someone else’s drama is because you are sensitive to others pain because you’ve experienced it in one form or another. You’ll notice that you are most vulnerable when you are happy. It is said that misery loves company and energy vampires tend to bring you down to their level if you allow it. It should be mentioned that dealing with energy vampires is not easy. If you are highly sensitive, have health issues and/or challenges of your own it is best to care for yourself first and you might have to end the relationship with your vampire friend. It’s never easy to sever a relationship of any kind but sometimes it must be done for your own health and well-being.

Here are a few things to do when there’s an energy vampire on the loose:

  1. Forgive yourself! This is important. You were in a sense ‘sucked in’ to the negative vortex. Now that you recognize what’s happening you can effectively take your course of action.
  2. Forgive them and clear the resistance! Forgiveness is a powerful way to clear energy. Energy vampires have probably been sucking people dry for a very long time and don’t realize it. Forgiving doesn’t mean allowing them to do it. It means forgiving them and sending them on their way.
  3. Set boundaries and own your space! Do this from a non-effort, neutral place. Owning your space is the best way to set boundaries.
  4. Value your loving nature, time & energy! What you have to give has value. Your time & energy has value. Think of it as if it were money. How much would you give to others at the cost of your own needs?
  5. Cut the cords and raise your vibration! If necessary, you may need to end the relationship. No one can take your energy or drag you down without your permission at some level. I know that’s hard to hear but it really is up to you.

It is your right and within your power to say no and stop the energy vampire dead in their tracks! Call back your energy from the takers! Your happy life blood is yours to infuse into YOUR life! Help those who can receive your gifts and move on from those who suck you dry!~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel  2011-2013 All rights reserved
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Enter the Oasis of the Soul!

Within you lies a well of inner resources. Dipping into that well brings sweet, refreshing water to the surface bringing new life to an otherwise parched environment. Your well is an oasis and drinking from it not only refreshes you it gives you energy, hope and strength. Do you dip into your well daily or do you wait until you are parched, thirsty, dehydrated and on the brink of exhaustion? Do you wait until the searing heat of the desert sun has beat you down before realizing the oasis you’ve been searching for is already there complete with a bucket waiting for you to dip in, fill it and bring the life changing waters to the surface?

Although the desert seems barren & dusty it is full of life and can be beautiful and lush. If you’ve ever gone to the desert after it rained you will be witness to what I consider a miracle. Dormant flowers and plants rise out of the sand within days and what was once a dry, parched, brown landscape comes alive with all the colors of the rainbow.  The bright sun is no longer harsh; It is nutrition for the new shoots as they finally show themselves after a deep slumber under ground. In turn, the flowers and plants give nutrition in many ways. They bring beauty to the eyes, fragrance to the air and feed a variety of desert creatures. Yes, a bit of rain on the desert creates a new landscape teaming with life!

The sun can be scorching and water can drown you but they also have the power to heal and change your life. Isn’t it true that after days of rain, cloudy skies and gloomy winter we relish the light and heat from the sun? Isn’t it true that when the sun beats down in the heat of the summer we seek out the cooling waters of a pool or beach so we can then enjoy that same sun whose brightness and heat first caused you to put on your sunglasses and go inside? You have the light of that sun within you! You have the refreshing, cooling waters within you! Instead of walking in the desert dying of thirst and trying to get out of the sun you can use both to nourish your mind, body and spirit. Stop “walking” and “searching” and start “BEING”.

Take time each day to quiet the mind and enter the oasis of the soul where the sun shines a light on truth and brings nutrition to the spirit. Drink from your well those inner resources which, when brought to the surface, help you shine even brighter. Drink from your well creativity, strength and awareness! Drink from your well the refreshing waters of energy and hope. Enter your oasis of the soul and bask in in its lushness, eat the fruit from its trees and bring new life and great change into your life! ~Shine Your Light Debbie

©Debra Taitel 2012 All rights reserved
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